Shattered
by Stabson
Summary: shattered-vb. to break at once into pieces, to break badly; to cause the disruption or annihilation of, demolish. Can someone fix Elliot's shattered heart before it's too late? E/O
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, guys. Haven't posted anything in a while... I've been working on this monster. I'm warning you... it's gonna be really sad for the first few chapters, but isn't it worth it for yummy E/O? Hope you like it!

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1:15 AM. That was the time that Detective Elliot Stabler of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit finally walked into his home in Queens. He was exhausted… exhausted and disheartened by the day's events. He'd gotten a new partner, the third one since Dave Rossetti died. Branson, Elliot thought his name was. But it didn't matter. He took one look at the body and puked up a lung. He probably wouldn't last for more than a week in SVU.

It had been a little boy… raped and beaten to death. Elliot shivered at the thought. He'd been working at SVU for the better part of five years and even _he _wanted to toss his cookies at the kind of cases they got.

"Hey," he heard his wife and the mother of his two beautiful daughters greet as he walked into the darkened living room.

"Hi, Kath," he greeted softly, sitting next to her on the couch. His wife and his daughters… his girls. They were what kept him going. They were his saving grace, his everything. He didn't know what he'd do without them.

"You're home late," she stated.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "I got caught up at the precinct…"

"Seems like that's happening more and more."

"I know, Kath," he said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently, "I'll try and do better."

Her expression softened, and she reached out to touch the nape of his neck. She knew that he loved them… she would try not to be so hard on him. He had a tough job, and he was trying.

"How was work?" she asked softly.

He shook his head, looking down at the carpet. He didn't like bringing his work home… He loved his job, but she didn't need to hear about some of the crap that he dealt with everyday.

"You can talk to me, you know," she told him, "I can help."

"I don't want to put those pictures in your head," he answered.

She sighed, and nodded, "Alright. But if you want to talk, I'm here for you. Okay?"

He gave her a small smile, and nodded.

"C'mon. It's late, let's get to bed."

The next morning, Elliot fixed his tie as he walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. A smile crossed his lips as he watched his girls, rushing around the kitchen in the usual morning chaos.

"Morning," Kathy greeted, "Breakfast?"

He quickly checked his watch, and plucked a piece of toast off of the plate on the table, "Eat on the run."

After giving each of them a kiss and then he was out the door.

"Morning, Elliot," John greeted as Elliot walked into the bullpen.

"Hey, John," he greeted as he sat down, "My partner here yet?"

"Nope. Damn rookie."

Elliot chuckled, "What would you know? You haven't had a rookie partner in years. Jeffries has been your partner for how long?"

"Too long," Monique Jeffries interjected as she walked past him, "Elliot, will you do me a favor and take him off my hands?"

"Yeah, right. Keep him; I don't need to listen to his book of conspiracies."

"I resent that," John said, "It's not a _whole book…"_

Both Jeffries and Elliot laughed.

"Elliot," Cragen called from his office, "Take Munch down to the morgue, Warner's got something for you."

"What happened to Branson?" Elliot asked as he stood.

"He handed me transfer request forms this morning," the captain answered.

"Wow, only a day? I thought he's last a little bit longer," the detective stated.

"Yeah, well back to catching rapists and pedophiles," Munch said as they walked out of the bullpen.

Ten hours later, they were back in it. They'd caught the perp… it had been the next door neighbor. Elliot had promised himself that he was going to do background checks and everyone in his block. God, he hated cases involving children. Boys, girls, whatever their age, they always reminded them of his daughters.

"I could go for a drink," John stated, "You want to come?"

As tempting as it was, he shook his head no. "Nah. I should get home. Thanks, though."

John nodded, "Alright. See you tomorrow, then."

When he walked into the house, the smell of a home cooked meal invaded his nostrils. His stomach growled, reminding him that lunch had been far off. He leaned in the doorway of the kitchen, smiling as he watched his wife work. It took several minutes to notice him, but when she did, a smile broke out on her face.

"You're home early," she stated.

He smiled back, and nodded, uncrossing his arms as he walked over, planting a kiss on her forehead, "I told you I'd try and do better."

"I'm glad," she said, taking his hand and squeezing it gently, "Why don't you get the girls? Dinner's ready."

He smiled, and nodded his head.

After dinner and an evening with his family, he climbed into bed next to Kathy. She cuddled into his chest. "I'm happy you came home," she said.

He squeezed her lightly, "You and Maureen and Kathleen are the most important thing in my life. It's time I start showing it."

She gave him a small smile, "You do, Elliot. You do."

He smiled back, and buried his nose in her neck, closing his eyes. He fell asleep easily, content in the arms of his wife.

When Elliot walked into the bullpen the next morning, he was happy. It had been a great night, and a great morning with his girls. They made him the happiest man in the world.

"You look happy this morning," John stated when he saw the younger detective sit down at his desk.

"I am," he answered.

The morning went by slow and filled with paperwork. Around three o'clock, Captain Cragen opened the door of his office.

"Elliot, can I see you in here, please?"

His eyebrows furrowed at the captain's gentle voice, and he knew immediately that something was wrong. He stood, and walked into the office, closing the door behind him.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Sit down," Cragen said, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Elliot followed the captain's wishes, sitting in one of the chairs, "What's up?"

"There was an accident."

His heart pounded in his chest. An accident? "Who?"

"Kathy, Maureen and Kathleen," the captain answered, "They were hit by a drunk driver."

"They're okay, though, right? W-where are they?" he asked nervously. His hands were shaking and his palms were sweating. They had to be okay. They just had to.

"Elliot…" Cragen started, shaking his head. His eyes were glistening… God, this was so hard. He hated doing this… especially to one of his own.

"No," Elliot said, shooting to his feet, realizing what the captain was trying to say. "_No_."

"They're gone," he said softly, "I'm so sorry, Elliot."

His knees went weak, and he collapsed back into the chair. Wetness formed in his eyes, "God, no…"

He dropped his hands into his palms, and he bit his lip, unbelieving. They couldn't be gone. He couldn't live without them.

"They need you to identify the bodies," the captain said gently, "C'mon. I'll come with you."

He stood slowly, nodding his head, hoping to God that there was some kind of mistake, and that his girls were safe at home. But deep in his heart, he knew the truth.

The morgue smelled like alcohol and antiseptics, just like it always did. But this time, it seemed so much stronger, invading his nose and stinging his nostrils.

Elliot took a deep breath, and walked up to the glass window. He could see Melinda on the other side, with a sympathetic look on her face. His hopes dropped even more. She wouldn't look like that if it wasn't his family under those three white clothes. She slowly lifted up the sheet, revealing the face of the person underneath.

His knees went weak. His mouth was dry, and tears formed in his eyes. There, laying cold and pale, was his wife.

"It's Kathy," he whispered, looking away from the horrible scene in front of him. Then, as if he was trying to convince himself, he said again, "It's Kathy."

Cragen placed a hand on his back, feeling his heart break for the detective. If Kathy was there… then he knew that the others had to be there was well. He nodded at Melinda, and she recovered the body, moving on to the next one.

"Elliot," he said gently, getting the detective's attention, which had lowered his eyes to the floor.

He returned his gaze to Melinda, who pulled back the second sheet. A wave of grief washed over him as he saw the pale, broken face of his oldest daughter. He had to grab onto the counter in front of him for support. Two of his tears broke away and met the shiny metal countertop.

"Maureen," he whispered painfully, "God, its Maureen."

"One more, Elliot," Cragen told him, squeezing his shoulder; "Just one more, and that's it. You're doing great."

He raised his head slowly, and Melinda lifted the third sheet, revealing his youngest.

"Kathleen," he stated miserably, and turned, unable to look at the sight in front of him anymore.

"Elliot, I'm so sorry," Melinda said as she walked into the room.

He shook his head violently, biting his lip, "I gotta get out of here."

And then he was gone. Cragen sighed heavily, and followed him out.

Elliot jogged out into the cold air, breathing heavily and holding back his remaining tears. He'd seen it. He'd seen his worst nightmare. His girls were laying, cold, pale, dead in the morgue. This had always been his worst fear, losing them.

And it had happened. He paced the sidewalk, running his hand through his hair. It felt like a nightmare, like he would wake up any second in his bed, with Kathy lying in his arms, safe and alive. But he knew that this was a nightmare that he would never wake up from. Feeling the tears break away, he leaned both hands against the building, hanging his head. All's he could see were their perfect, angelic faces, pale and… dead, He clenched his fist, and slammed it into the wall as hard as he could. Pain immediately seared through his arm, but he barely felt it. When he pulled his hand away, his knuckles were bloody.

"Elliot," the detective heard Cragen say as he stepped out of the building. When Elliot didn't answer, he continued, "Come on. I'll take you home."

He shook his head, "I-I need some air."

He couldn't go home. Not yet, not when he knew that no one would be there waiting for him, like there always had been.

Cragen's cop instincts screamed no. A sad, distraught man, wondering the dangerous streets of Manhattan alone?

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said.

"I can take care of myself," Elliot stated weakly.

"Right now? No, you can't," the captain said, taking his arm and guiding him to the sedan, "I'm taking you home."

He had lost his wife. So he knew a little bit of what Elliot was feeling. He knew how much Kathy and the kids meant to him… he knew that Elliot was devastated. So he wasn't very surprised when the detective didn't fight as he opened the car door for him. He got in, and the captain closed the door behind him.

The ride to Elliot's home in Queens was silent. Cragen wanted to speak, to comfort him in some way, but he didn't know how. What could you say to a man that just lost his wife and daughters? So he stayed silent, and Elliot stayed silent until they pulled into the driveway.

"Thanks," Elliot said softly, his voice hoarse as he opened the door of the car.

"You, uh- You want me to come in for a little while?" the captain asked.

"That's okay," Elliot answered, "I think I just want to be alone right now."

Cragen nodded, "Alright. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Elliot nodded his head, and got out, closing the door behind him.

He walked into the darkened kitchen, and looked around. The voices of his children rung in his ears, painfully reminding him that he would never see them again. He would never hear them laugh or call him 'Daddy'. He would never see their smiling faces.

He couldn't take it. He kicked one of the kitchen chairs across the room, and it hit the wall, making a loud clatter. Sadness and anger filled his thoughts as he swept his arm over the table, knocking the two forgotten coffee cups onto the ground and making them shatter.

Tears blurred his vision as he punched the top cabinet, leaving red stains from his still bloody knuckles. It made a sharp banging sound, vibrating as it swung open. His knees buckled, and he clutched the counter as he sunk to the floor. Quiet sobs escaped his lips. His forehead went to rest against the cool tiles of the counter and his eyes squeezed shut.

He kneeled there for several minutes, gut-wrenching sobs erupting from his chest. He still couldn't believe that this was happening to him. How_ could_ this happen?

He finally turned to sit, leaning against the cabinets, bringing his knees to his chest. He lowered his forehead to rest against his palms as silent tears streamed down his cheeks. It felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He never knew that someone could be in this amount of pain; it ripped through like no bullet or knife ever could. He felt like he would die from the grief. He wished it had been him. God, he wished it had been him. They had been perfect. Perfect in every way… angels. His angels. Just their smile could brighten his day.

How could this happen? How could they be ripped away from him so suddenly, so viciously?

"_You can talk to me, you know. I can help."_

He wanted to talk to her. He wanted her to hold him and kiss him until all the pain went away. It felt like there was a big, gaping hole where s heart used to be.

Elliot cried until no more tears came to his eyes, and soft, dry sobs escaped his lips.

When he opened his eyes, he was still laying against the counter. It was dark and stormy out, matching his mood. He got up slowly, his whole body aching, and walked into the living room. He collapsed onto the couch, pulling off his tie, letting it fall to the floor.

Kathy always hated when he did that, he remembered painfully. He'd come home late, and he'd be tired, drop his clothes and leave them where they landed. She'd yell at him the next morning, and he'd apologize, just to do it again the next night. He'd do anything to hear her voice again. He closed his eyes, but had no more tears left to cry. He sighed heavily, and his phone started to ring.

"Stabler," he said into the phone, his voice hoarse and quiet.

"Hey, Elliot," he heard the captain greet.

"Hi," he answered.

"How're you doing?"

Elliot hesitated. Such a simple question, one that he would've thought nothing of a few days ago. But now… it left him speechless. "I'm alive," he finally stated.

"Alright. Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing. Take care, okay? If you need anything… you have my number."

"Yeah. Thanks, captain."

"Don't mention it," Cragen answered, "Talk to you later."

Elliot hung up, and dropped the phone onto the coffee table. He closed his eyes, hoping that somehow, sleep would come again and take him from this nightmare that he was living.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review! They're like drugs... I can't get enough! The more I get, the quicker I update :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm so sorry about the lack of updates! My computer was being repaired, so I couldn't get to my files. Don't worry, I have the next three chapters typed up . Hope you enjoy Chapter 2 of Shattered!

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Elliot sat on the floor against the wall of his oldest daughter's bedroom, his knees folded to his chest. It was the day of the funeral… he was in his black suit. He found just an ounce of comfort in this room… it was exactly how she left it that morning, before… before it happened. He sighed shakily, tightening his arms around his knees. It hurt so much thinking about it. Hell, it hurt even when he wasn't thinking about it.

There was a ring on the doorbell, and he knew that it was Cragen, coming to pick him up. He hadn't wanted to go alone… he'd fall apart if he went by himself. The captain had offered to go with him, help keep him together, and Elliot had gratefully accepted.

There was another ring, but Elliot made no move to get up. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to leave the confines of the bright purple bedroom, and watch his babies being lowered into the ground. The knocking came next, but still, he didn't move. He was too lost in thought to hear the creaking of the stairs. He was brought back to reality when the bedroom door opened, revealing the captain.

"Hey, Elliot," he greeted softly, "What are you doing in here?"

He shrugged, unable to find words. Cragen sat down beside him, and was silent for a few minutes, giving him room to talk. But he didn't say anything.

"We should go," he stated finally.

Elliot shook his head, "I-I can't. I can't go."

"Why not?" he asked gently, resting a hand on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him.

Tears formed in his eyes as he stared down into his lap. "It hurts too much. I can't do it."

"I know it hurts, Elliot. But I know that you can do this. You're strong."

"Not that strong. Not strong enough to…" the next part came out in a forced whisper, "To bury my daughters."

His fists tightened around the fabric of his suit pants as he tried desperately not to cry. He couldn't do this.

"What about them?" the captain asked softly, "They would want you there, wouldn't they? You have to at least try, Elliot. I'll be right next to you, and if it's too much, we can go. I promise."

Elliot sighed shakily, and nodded.

"Okay," the captain said, standing, holding out a hand to help him up.

Elliot took it, and they walked out to the car together.

The service went by slow… agonizingly slow. Elliot sat in the front row next to Cragen, as promised. He cried. He cried more tears than he thought a person could cry. But as much pain that he was in, he couldn't bring himself to get up and leave. Cragen was right. He had to do this, he had to stay. But as he watched each of his girls as they were lowered into the ground, he didn't know how much more he could take before he broke completely. He clasped his hands in front of him to keep them from shaking, and bit his lip as the tears fell.

And finally, it was over.

"C'mon, Elliot," the captain said softly, squeezing his shoulder.

Elliot nodded slowly, and Cragen guided him back to the car.

"How about some lunch?" he asked, knowing well that he hadn't been eating nearly enough over the past few days.

"I don't think so," Elliot answered, unable to give him even the smallest smile, "I just… I just want to go home."

The captain nodded, and gave him a small reassuring smile, "Okay."

When he pulled into the driveway, Elliot started to open the door, but the captain stopped him, "Elliot, wait."

"What?" he asked, lowering himself back into the seat.

"You know you're not alone," the captain stated, "If you want to talk… I'm here."

Elliot nodded, "Thanks, cap'n."

He wasn't alone. But it sure felt like it. He walked into the house, planning on getting nice and drunk.

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Three weeks. Three weeks had passed since the accident that took his girls away from him, and since his life had fallen apart. Just as usual, nightmares tore him away from sleep at quarter to six. He got up, sighing heavily and wiped his tired eyes. He was in the precinct an hour and a half later. And as usual, he was the first one there after the captain.

"Morning, Elliot," the captain greeted from his office.

7:25 A.M. Right on time, Cragen thought. For the two and a half weeks he'd been back, he'd been getting in early, and leaving late. If he left at all, that is.

"Morning," the detective answered as he sat down.

The morning was spent doing paperwork, and after lunch, they got a call.

"Where are Munch and Jeffries?" Cragen asked as he walked out of the office.

"Still on lunch break," Elliot answered, looking up from the file that he was working on.

Cragen sighed, "Alright. You can take this one, then. Body found in an alley on 66th street. Think you can handle it?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Elliot said, nodding shortly. And then he was on his way.

It wasn't hard to find the crime scene. People and squad cars filled the vicinity, as usual. One quick flash of his badge, and he was allowed under the yellow tape.

"What do we have here?" he asked Melinda as he saw her walk in his direction.

"Elliot…" she started, her voice soft and gentle, making him automatically know that something was up. "I don't think that you should look at that."

"Why not? This is my case, I have to," he stated, and pushed past the doctor to see the body. He suddenly wished that he had followed Melinda's advice. Laying on the ground in front of him, was a young girl. She couldn't have been older than Kathleen, he realized painfully. Fuzzy, knotted blonde hair framed her face. Her cheeks were still tinted pink and her eyes were closed. His knees went weak, and his eyes glistened. He turned away, shaking his head.

"Do we have an I.D.?" he asked weakly, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.

"The father's over there," Melinda told him.

Elliot turned, and saw him, leaning against a squad car. Closer inspection revealed that he had been crying.

"Sir?" he asked gently as he walked over, "I'm Detective Stabler, I'll be working your daughter's case."

"Mike Bishop," he answered, "I can't… I can't believe that someone would do something like this. Katie was such a sweet girl."

Elliot's knees went weak, and his heart sunk. He'd called Kathleen Katie. He was hit with a wave of pain… a familiar wave that he'd felt a million times over the past three weeks, but had only gotten worse.

He pat Mike on the shoulder, hoping that somehow, by giving this man some comfort, he'd get some for himself.

"It's alright," Elliot said, "It could've happened to anyone. It's not your fault."

Elliot walked into the precinct hours later. The icy grip around his heart hadn't eased… it had gotten even worse. He couldn't help but see all the similarities between Katie and his own children, and Mike and himself. The pain was unbearable.

Deciding that he needed some air, the detective walked up to the roof. He'd been spending more and more time up there… the cool wind, the sounds of the city… it always seemed to calm him. But today was different. Not even the roof could soothe his aching heart. He sighed heavily, holding the railing tightly as he looked down at the usual afternoon traffic, light bouncing off of the windows of buildings across the way.

God, he missed them. The pain had taken a permanent hold in his heart… it never seemed to go away. Even his dreams were filled with their memories. Elliot shook his head, feeling tears in his eyes and his trembling lower lip. He was sick of crying. Turning, he sunk to the floor, leaning heavily against the railing.

Feeling his service weapon dig into his side, he slowly pulled it out. He'd been shooting guns his whole life… his father had taught him when he was young. It had been one of the only good things the man had done for him.

It would be so easy to just end it here, he realized painstakingly. One bullet. That's all he needed. Just one. He'd go to Hell… suicide's a sin… but at least the pain would stop. He wouldn't have to live with the guilt that he was breathing, and his daughters would not.

He turned the safety off, and cocked the gun with shaking hands. The gun that was merciless, that's bullets tore through flesh and bone with no regret, no remorse, no second thoughts. Unforgiving. Slowly, he pressed in under his chin, closing his eyes as his finger went to the trigger. One moment of pain. One moment of pain could save him from a lifetime.

"Elliot," he heard the captain ask softly from above him.

He opened his eyes, and saw the captain's concerned face looking down at him. He slowly lowered himself to sit on the floor next to the detective, "What are you doing?"

"Ending it," Elliot answered shakily, not moving the gun from under his chin, feeling tears sting his eyes.

"You don't have to d this," the captain stated softly, "I know you're hurt, and I know that it seems like this is the only way out, but it's not. Okay? It's not."

"I'm so sick of feeling like this," he whispered, "All the time."

"I know," Cragen said, "I know. But you can get through this. I know you can. You're too strong for this. You're too strong to die like this."

He shook his head, "No, I'm not. God… I can't do this."

"Yes you can," the captain urged. He knew that if he didn't break through to Elliot, he would be gone. "What would they want? Would your kids want you to do this? What about Kathy? Would she want you to blow your brains out?"

"M-my kids," Elliot whispered painfully, more tears starting to roll down his cheeks, "N-no… they wouldn't."

"Elliot… please give me the gun. Everything's going to be okay, just give me the gun."

Elliot slowly lowered the gun, and let the captain take it from him. Tears overflowed his eyes, and he lowered his head, crying softly. Cragen pulled him into his arms, feeling his body shake with sobs, "It's okay, Elliot. Everything's going to be okay."

The captain pressed his lips into a thin line as he realized that his best detective, a man that was like a son to him, was broken.

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ONE YEAR LATER…

Elliot got out of his car, and slammed the door shut. A cigarette poked out of his mouth, and sunglasses covered his eternally dark blue eyes. A frown was panted onto his stubbly face. He flicked the white stick onto the pavement before walking into the precinct.

He had walked into the bullpen and was about to sit down when Cragen poked his head out of the office, "Elliot, a word?"

"What?" he asked, pulling of his glasses as he walked into the captain's office.

"You're getting a new partner," he said.

Elliot scoffed, "No thanks, cap. Think I'll just fly solo."

"That wasn't a suggestion, detective," he stated, "You're getting a new partner."

Elliot sighed agitatedly, "Fine. You know as well as I do that he's probably not gonna last a week here. What kind of dumb rookie you sticking with me this time?"

"Turn around and you'll see her," the captain answered.

Elliot's eyebrows furrowed. _Her_? He spun around, and saw, sitting in the corner, a woman, about his age, with auburn hair and deep brown eyes. Her arms were crossed over her chest and there was a defiant look on her face.

"Dumb rookie?" she questioned, standing, giving him a once over. All black, even his dress shirt and his tie, "Who do you think you are, James Bond?"

"Maybe," he answered, taking an intimidated step towards her. She surprised him a little by stepping even closer.

"Elliot Stabler, meet Olivia Benson," the captain stated. This was going to be interesting, "Alright, you two have a case. Rape vic at Mercy. Get going."

They broke their staring match, and silently walked out of the captain's office. Elliot pulled out a cigarette and lit up as soon as they got outside. Olivia rolled her eyes at this. Typical asshole New York City cop.

"What?" Elliot snapped, noticing the gesture.

"Just thinking about what a typical asshole cop you are," she answered bluntly, "You know those things can kill you, right?"

Elliot snorted. Out of everything that he had been dealing with, the last thing on his mind was dying of lung cancer or some shit. "Yeah, well, so can this job," he stated, blowing a puff of smoke out through his nose.

Her eyebrows narrowed, and she plucked the cigarette out of his mouth as they reached the sedan, throwing onto the ground. Elliot's eyes widened in surprise as she did this, "What the hell?"

"As long as we're in this car together, you don't smoke in it," Olivia demanded, "I don't feel like breathing in your secondhand smoke."

And then she got into the car without another word. Elliot rolled his eyes, shaking his head. God, what had Cragen been _thinking_? He got into the car, and closed the door. The ride was silent.

"Hey, Elliot," Jennifer greeted gently as they walked down the hall, "How're you doing?"

Jennifer was one of the nurses at Mercy… she was one of Kathy's close friends. Olivia frowned slightly at the warm greeting that the nurse had given the man that had been such a jerk to her.

"I'm doing alright," Elliot answered, giving her a small smile, "Thanks, Jen."

Jen pat him on the arm, smiling back at him, "That's good. Ever since…"

Elliot cleared his throat, stopping the nurse from speaking. He knew where the conversation was going, and he didn't feel like pouring out his heart in front of his partner of an hour and a half, who currently thought that he was a jerk Just the way he liked it.

Noticing Olivia for the first time, Jen backed off, "Well, it's nice to see you again. Take care of yourself, okay? Call me anytime."

"I will," he said, and walked away. Olivia, curious as to what the nurse was about to say and why Elliot had stopped her so quickly, just stared at him.

"What?" he asked snappishly.

Things had changed dramatically over the past year. He wasn't the same person anymore. His girls had made him who he was, and without them, he had crumbled. He had formed a hard shell around his heart. But he couldn't be like that to one of Kathy's friends… he had just enough strength to pull himself together a little bit. But in front of her… he just didn't have enough to give a shit.

She shook her head, "Just wondering what medal she had to win to receive the almighty Elliot Stabler's respect," she said sarcastically.

He snorted, "We have a rape victim to talk to."

Elliot walked-more like stormed- out of the hospital, and immediately reached for his cigarettes. God, that shit was heavy. Not many cases affected him severely anymore. But this one… he shook his head violently. Two teenage girls, raped and beaten to a bloody pulp right in front of their father. And he thought that what happened to him was bad.

"Let's go," Olivia said as they reached the sedan. She felt very much like Elliot. Angry and confused and shocked. But she would never show that in front of her new asshole partner.

He was sad. Sad, angry, and he didn't even know what else. So he really didn't need some rookie prodding him along. This is why he worked alone.

"Stabler," Olivia said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Give me a minute," he finally told her.

He was like a volcano, and if he didn't relax, he was going to erupt. He ran both hands through his hair, balancing the cigarette between his lips as he tried to calm down. She gave an agitated sigh, shaking her head as she got into the car and slammed the door. He took a deep, shaky breath, and got in as well, flicking the white stick onto the pavement. Once again, the ride was silent, leaving them both to their thoughts.

Elliot was finally able to calm himself, getting back to the hard shell that he had formed around himself, the 'asshole New York City cop', as Benson had called it. He shook his head slightly. A year ago, he'd been anything but that. He pushed those thoughts out of his head, cursing himself silently for putting himself through this again. It was over, and he couldn't do anything about it. He was the asshole New York City cop with no family.

He'd much rather be that than the widowed husband who had lost his children and that was slowly dying inside. Whoever said that it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all could shove it.

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A/N: Please R/R. I love reviews… they keep me going ;)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hi, guys! I'm happy with all the story adding. But please review so I can tell how I'm doing! Anyway, here's chapter 3!

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Two weeks went by slowly. Elliot continued to be cold and distant to Olivia, and she did the same thing right back. He wanted to be an ass? Fine. She could do the same thing. Cragen watched this heavy heartedly. Elliot had done this with each and every partner that he had gotten since that fateful day one year ago. The captain knew that Olivia wasn't going anywhere, and that fact that she thought that Elliot was just a jerk saddened him deeply.

Cragen knew that Olivia could be good for him. She was kind, and gentle, and very caring. If he just let her in, she could help. But Elliot was set on not telling anyone, keeping everything inside and suffering in silence.

But he was going down a very dark, destructive path. If someone didn't do something soon, he was afraid that he would lose the man that he thought of as a son.

"I'm going home, captain," Olivia stated, poking her head through the doorway and effectively snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Wait, Olivia," the captain said, "I'd like to talk to you." He wasn't going to let Elliot destroy himself. Cragen had done all he could to help, but nothing seemed to work. But he had a feeling, deep inside of him, that Olivia could fix Elliot. And he would bend Heaven and Earth to make the man happy again.

She stepped into the office, and sat in front of the desk, "What's up?"

"It's about your partner," Cragen answered, not exactly knowing how to proceed.

"Stabler? Oh, yeah. Nice guy," she said, and he could hear the biting sarcasm in her voice.

Elliot did a good job, he thought grimly. He did a good job in acting like he was an asshole.

"Look, Olivia," he started, using a gentle voice, "Elliot is a good man. You have to believe that. I shouldn't tell you this, but I know that he never will. His family was killed last year. His wife and his two beautiful daughters. He wasn't always like this, the smoking and the anger and the sadness. He used to be so good, one of the most kind, caring, happy people that I've ever met. Please don't hate him. He's hurting pretty badly."

Cragen smiled a small, sad smile. He missed the old Elliot. The big heart, shining eyes, the contagious laugh. The nights they'd go out after a hard case and get smashed, the times when his daughters would come visit him and Elliot would be so happy that his heart would almost burst. The fatherly pride, that was nonexistent now. Then again, how could you have fatherly pride when your children were gone?

All of Olivia's anger and resentment towards Elliot drained away as she realized why her partner was so angry, so bitter. She felt horrible. Lost his whole family?

"That's awful," she said softly, "I didn't… I mean…"

"You didn't know," Cragen said, "You thought he was just a jerk. I wanted you to know the truth."

"Poor guy," Olivia whispered.

"I know," the captain said, nodding; "Now you understand."

* * *

Elliot walked into the bullpen the next morning, tired from another night full of nightmares. They weren't as bad as they used to be… but they still haunted in dreams almost every night. He took a sip of coffee, thanking the God that he wasn't sure he believed in anymore for caffeine.

"Hey," he heard the deep voice of his captain pierce through the soothing silence of the bullpen.

"Hey," he greeted as Cragen walked over to him.

"How're you doing?"

He shook his head slightly, "Same as usual."

There was a sudden clicking of boots, and Cragen watched Elliot stiffen visibly. Olivia walked into the bullpen a few seconds later, holding her own cup of coffee. "Good morning, captain," she greeted, and turned her attention to Elliot, "Morning, Elliot."

She had promised herself that she would be nice to him, no matter how much of a jerk he aced like. He'd lost his whole family… she couldn't imagine how much pain he was in. He needed a friend. And she was going to be there for him. Cragen smiled. He knew that she would try… just a simple 'good morning and they were on the right path.

Elliot, surprised and unnerved by the friendly greeting, didn't say anything. What was her deal? Cragen walked into his office, and Olivia sat down at her desk.

"You okay?" she asked, noticing his surprise.

Elliot's eyebrows furrowed. Why was she acting like this towards him all the sudden? Why was she being… _nice _to him? Wasn't it just yesterday she had been calling him an asshole, like she was supposed to? Like he _wanted_ her to?

He grunted in reply, trying to get her back to not liking him, like he wanted. She nodded, and went to work. He shook his head, rubbing his forehead slowly. Damn, he was tired.

* * *

"Hey, Elliot?" Olivia asked, "Can I talk to you?"

It was later that night; they were walking into the bullpen after an interview. It was quiet again, or quiet enough to have this conversation with him.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"Sit," she said, and he did so, on a bench just outside the bullpen, surprising himself with his compliance. She sat next to him.

"I heard about your family," she said in a soft, gentle voice, and she noticed him stiffen immediately.

Oh, no. She knew, it was over. He was the widowed husband that lost his family again. He desperately wanted to be the asshole cop. "Who told you?" he asked stoically.

"The captain," she answered, "Elliot, I am so sorry."

He shot up, "Don't."

He started to walk away. He couldn't deal with this anymore. He couldn't talk about this with her. She wasn't supposed to know. Olivia stopped him by resting a hand on his shoulder. All of the feelings that he had felt on the roof with Cragen that day came rushing back to him, and he desperately fought against the tears that were forming. God, please don't do this to him.

"Elliot, I just want to help you."

"You can't. You can't help me, so please just leave me alone," he said evenly, keeping his back to her.

"I know how you feel…"

"No!" he shouted suddenly, surprising both of them with his harsh tone, "You don't. No one does, and I'm sick of people saying they do, because they fucking DON'T."

A wave of grief overcame him, and forced him to his knees. He blinked hard, losing the battle against his tears. Olivia kneeled next to him, and rubbed his back soothingly, surprising herself with this gesture towards a man that she hardly knew. But she knew that she wanted to help him. He had nobody… almost like her.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked softly.

"Because you're my partner. I care about you," she answered.

"Don't bother," he whispered, bowing his head as the tears slid down his cheeks.

"Why not?" Olivia asked gently.

"Because I'll just disappoint you," Elliot said, and got up, slowly making his way out of the precinct. This time, she didn't try to stop him.

He had built a wall around his heart. After his family was taken from him, he kept everyone at arms length. Because he was afraid of losing them, of getting his heart broken again, like with his family. He was cold and distant, not because he was an asshole, but because he didn't- he _couldn't _let anyone in.

And she was filled with an unexplainable need to fix this broken man.

Elliot walked into his apartment, his eyes still red and puffy, and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He opened the cabinet, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a glass, feeling the need to get wasted.

He couldn't believe that Cragen had _done _this to him. He thought that the captain was on his side. He knew that Elliot didn't want anyone to find out, so why had he gone behind his back and told her? Olivia, of all people. She was probably laughing at how weak he was right now. More tears stung his eyes, but he wiped them away quickly. He was so fucking _sick _of crying. He was sick of everything. Olivia, sticking her nose where it didn't belong, the captain, for being unable to keep his goddamn mouth shut. Himself, for sitting here and wallowing in his own self pity. For needing alcohol to get rid of the pain in his heart, but knowing that it would all just come back to him tomorrow.

He sighed. Well, at least he would be free from it for a little while. He picked up the glass, but stopped short when he saw their faces. He dropped it onto the table, and covered his eyes with the heels of his palms, shaking his head. He could never escape them… he could never escape the pain. More tears formed in his eyes, but this time, he didn't fight it. What was the point anymore?

He sat there in his kitchen, crying for several minutes, and then wiped his eyes as he picked up the glass. He downed the alcohol, and let out a deep breath as he felt the familiar fire in his throat.

Elliot opened his eyes slowly. His head was pounding against his skull and his back ached from spending the night passed out on the couch. He groaned, sitting up slowly, feeling his head spin and his stomach doing flips. God, he felt like shit.

He made his way into the bathroom, and ran the faucet, splashing cool water on his face. He sighed heavily when he saw his reflection in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes and his cheeks were flushed. He knew that this was more than just a hangover. Taking a sick day crossed his mind, but he decided against it, not feeling like sitting in his silent apartment all day.

When he walked into the bullpen, he was having second thoughts. He was congested and sneezing. His throat was burning and his stomach was still doing flips.

"You look like hell," Munch greeted as the younger detective sat down at his desk.

He grunted in response, feeling more irritable than ever, "Benson here yet?"

"Not yet," Munch replied.

"Thank God," he said under his breath, not up to dealing with his incredibly nosy partner after their conversation the previous night.

"Elliot," Cragen called from the doorway of his office, "Can I see you in here, please?"

Elliot got up, and walked into the office, closing the door behind him, "What's up?"

"You look awful," the captain answered in a fatherly tone, "Are you alright?"

Elliot sighed, and sat down, "Not really."

Cragen pressed his lips into a thin line. He was at the end of his rope. Again. He looked like he did that day a year ago, with that gun pressed under his chin… Cragen shook his head at that thought. It scared the hell out of him.

"Why'd you tell her?" Elliot asked, his Brooklyn accent seeping through in his sorrow. He hadn't been fine before, but it was easier to be the asshole than have everyone feel sorry for him. She had been so nice to him… tried to be his friend. He didn't want it. He didn't deserve it, and he couldn't take it.

"She deserves to know," Cragen answered gently, "And you deserve a friend. You're a good man, and a good detective. I don't want to lose you."

"She pitied me," he whispered, "You pity me. I can't stand it. I don't _deserve _it."

Cragen's heart broke at the detective's words. He thought that this was his fault; he thought that he deserved to be in pain for the rest of his life.

"Elliot, listen to me," the captain said, "What happened to your wife and your daughters was a tragedy. A tragedy that you _couldn't have prevented_. I remember how much you loved them, Elliot. You'd go to the ends of the Earth to make them happy. You deserve something good in your life again. You deserve to be happy again."

"Happy? I don't even remember what that feels like," he admitted softly, staring down at his hands in his lap.

"Hey," the captain said, "Don't say that. You have to believe that it's gonna be okay. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You're here, you're alive. Don't waste your life like this."

"I tried," he whispered, "I… I can't be happy without them. They were my life."

Cragen didn't know how to respond to that. Elliot was miserable, and broken, and the captain didn't know how to help him.

Elliot sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. He didn't want to talk anymore… his heart was aching, and he just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"Go home, Elliot. You're sick. Get some rest and just take it easy."

The detective nodded, too tired too argue anymore.

* * *

A/N: So Olivia knows now. Will Elliot be able to open up to her, or will he continue to suffer in silence? Review and you'll find out!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi, guys. Here's the next chapter of Shattered. But I have to say, I'm a little sad about the lack of reviews :( I know a bunch of you guys story alerted this, but tell me how I'm doing! I want to make this as good as possible. Don't worry, happy times are on the way. And I expect the beginning of a beatiful E/O relationship within the next few chapters... that can happen if you guys REVIEW!

* * *

Elliot laid on the couch in his apartment, flipping through the channels on TV. He'd changed into a more comfortable pair of sweatpants and an NYPD t-shirt, and thanks to a few aspirin, was feeling a little better. The doorbell rang, and he sighed heavily, getting up to answer it. When he opened the door, Olivia was standing in the hall.

"Hey," she greeted softly.

"Hi," he answered, too tired to wonder why she cared so much, "Come in, if you want."

"Thanks," she said, entering the apartment, "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit," he stated, sitting on the couch, "But, hey, what else is new?"

Olivia shook her head silently as she sat beside him. She just looked at him for several seconds. His eyes were dull; there was a frown on his face. She knew that he had been frowning too much over the past year. But who could blame him? His cheeks had dark stubble from lack of shaving. He looked so… hurt, so sad. She hadn't noticed it before, but he did.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged silently, not moving his eyes from the floor.

"You can talk to me, El," she said, surprising both of them by the nickname, "Talking will make you feel better."

She didn't know where it was coming from, but she felt bad for this man sitting next to her, feel for him like she had never felt for anyone else.

"I'm just so sick of it all," he admitted, not knowing why he felt so comfortable with this woman. "So damn sick of it. I lost my family, my children. What's the point anymore? What am I fighting for?"

Olivia reached up, and rubbed his back soothingly, sensing that he needed contact. She knew that he must've been so lonely. He had a family, children, Cragen had _told _her how happy he had been. And to see him like this… it killed her, and she didn't know why.

"Elliot… I know that I haven't known you for very long, but I know you well enough to know that you're a good man, who's been through a whole lot of shit. Hell, a _mountain _of shit. But you're a good detective. Scratch that, you're a great detective. You've done so much good. Is it really worth throwing it all away? There's nothing that you can do now. You just have to keep going. For them. They would want you to be happy, not walk around the squad room and pretend that you're the biggest asshole in the world."

He blushed slightly at that, and she continued, "Anytime you want to talk, or if you need someone, a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you, okay?"

If she hadn't been watching him so intently, she wouldn't have seen the frown on his face turn upward ever so slightly, "Why are you so good to me?"

"I told you," she answered, "You're my partner, I care about you. I'm _supposed _to protect you."

As Elliot moved his gaze from the floor up to his face, he suddenly felt closer to her than anyone. As if she could read his mind, she pulled him close, holding him in her gentle embrace. He rested his head against her shoulder, and closed his eyes, feeling strangely content in her arms.

Olivia felt the same way. She knew that he was hurt, more hurt than she could possibly imagine. But she also knew that all's she wanted to do was help him.

When Elliot sat up, she kept his hand on the back of his neck, and they just looked at each other.

"You get some rest, and I'll talk to you later, okay?" she said finally, "And remember what I said. You're not alone in this, El."

"I will," he answered, "Thank you, Liv."

She smiled at the nickname, and gave him a pat on the shoulder before she stood and left the apartment. Elliot laid back against the cushions, letting his eyes slide shut. Sleep came easier than it had in what seemed like a very long time.

He knew that the pain of his children's deaths would never fully disappear. But for the first time since he lost them, he realized that maybe, just maybe, he'd get better.

* * *

When Elliot walked into the bullpen the next morning, he was more well-rested and at peace than he had been in over a year.

"Morning, Elliot," John greeted in his normal, friendly tone, just like he'd been doing for as long as they had been working together.

But this time, instead of grunting or snapping a response, Elliot gave him the smallest of smiles, "Morning, John."

"Wow," the older detective stated, surprise etched into his features, "You're not pissed."

He raised his eyebrows, "Y-yeah. I guess I'm not."

It was just like every other day. He'd gotten up, had his usual morning smoke. Arrived at the precinct exactly on time. But somehow, he felt just a little bit less bitter.

"Elliot," Cragen greeted, noticing the change in his appearance immediately. There were no bags under his eyes and his dark, stormy blue orbs had lightened just a little.

"You look much better," he stated, "How're you feeling?"

Elliot shrugged, "I'm… dealing."

Cragen nodded, a small smile escaping his lips. He was making his way back to the right path. It would be hard… harder than anything he'd ever done, but Cragen was convinced that Elliot could get back to the man that he really was. The kind-hearted, warm, gentle spirit that the captain knew was still inside of the detective.

Olivia walked into the bullpen, and dropped into her seat, "Hey, Elliot," she greeted in a friendly tone.

"Hey," he answered.

John looked at them, surprised by their sudden friendliness. They were at each others' throats just a few days ago, weren't they? But Cragen smiled in realization. He knew that Olivia could help him. And now she was.

The morning went by slowly, but finally, their lunch break rolled around.

"Hey, you wanna go out, grab something to eat?" Elliot asked Olivia.

She nodded, happily surprised by his offer, "Sure."

As soon as they walked out, Elliot lit up a cigarette, as usual. The walk was nice, and their lunch was even better. They talked, and were surprised by how much they had in common. And when the bill came, Elliot swiped it before Olivia could get to it, "Nope. I'm paying."

"Elliot, you're not paying for my lunch," Olivia protested.

"Sure I am," he answered, pulling out his wallet, "It's the least I can do."

"Thanks," Olivia said, and Elliot shrugged it off, "I like this Elliot."

He smiled slightly, "I'm trying, Liv. I really am. I'm going through a lot of personal shit right now, but that's no excuse for the way I've been treating you. I owe you an apology. You're an amazing person and you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry."

Olivia pat his hand, which was laying flat on the table. She left it there as she spoke, enjoying the feel of his skin under hers, "It's okay, El. I can't say that I know what you're going through, but I do know that it's hard. Like I said yesterday, you're my partner and I care about you."

His smile grew a little bit bigger, enjoying her touch. He didn't know what this was, developing between them, but he liked it.

And so did she.

* * *

The gravel made a soft crunching sound under Elliot's shoes as he walked. Sunglasses covered his eyes and a cigarette poked out of his mouth. Reaching his destination, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and sighed shakily. In front of him was his oldest daughter's grave. He kneeled on the grass, feeling its dampness seep through his jeans, and ran his fingers over the letters softly.

With shaking hands, he pulled out a single red rose. Maureen's favorite… and placed it on the grass.

"I love you, Mo," he whispered, dropping his forehead to the cold stone, "I miss you so much."

Next was Kathleen. His youngest. His baby. _Kathleen Elizabeth Stabler_, the stone read back to him.

"Kat," he whispered, remembering the nickname that he'd given her when she was just a baby.

He stood slowly, and took one final, shaky breath as he walked away. No more tears came to his eyes.

The next three months went by slowly, and Elliot and Olivia's slow dance continued. Everyone watched as their connection grew. Cragen watched with the most amazement as Elliot slowly started to soften, and become his son again. He still smoked, he still drank, and he still pretended to be an ass sometimes. But he was getting better. Slowly, but surely, he was getting better.

Elliot walked into the bullpen, sipping at his coffee as he sat down at his desk. Not more than ten minutes later, a distraught burst into the bullpen, "I need some help here!"

Elliot stood slowly, "I'm Detective Stabler. Sit down, you can tell me what happened."

"It's my daughter. I woke up this morning and she was gone. I found this note," the man said as he sat, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket and handing it to Elliot.

Typical ransom note, Elliot thought as he read it quickly, "Alright, can I have your name?"

"Steve," the man stated, "Steve Denny. My daughter's Kayla."

He spent twenty minutes talking to the man, asking questions. As he did, he felt the familiar aching in his heart.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked as she walked into the bullpen.

"Why don't you sit right here, and I'll be right back," Elliot told Steve, and got up, walking over to his partner.

"What's up?" she asked

"Sixteen year old female. Kidnapped," he said, "Mother's not in the picture, father is sitting right there," Elliot said softly.

She sighed, knowing how much that he always hated these cases. She knew that they always got to him.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked, moving a hand to rest on his arm.

He gave her a tiny smile, "I'll be fine, Liv. Thanks."

Olivia nodded, "Alright."

And then he went back to talk to Steve. Twenty minutes later, he walked out of the pit, running a hand through his hair.

"I need some air," he told Olivia before he started up to the roof… to have a cigarette, no doubt.

Elliot sighed as he blew out a puff of smoke, looking down at the city below him. He remembered briefly about the day a year ago when he almost took his life here… but quickly squashed those thoughts. He had promised himself- his _daughters_- that he would never think about anything like that again.

He had a life, a broken one without much of a purpose, but, dammit, he wouldn't end it so disgracefully. He was going to live. How much longer, he didn't know… but he would.

Finishing his cigarette, he flicked it over the railing and walked back down to the bullpen. He had a case to solve.

"What do you have for me?" he asked as he walked to where the rest of the detectives were standing, writing on the whiteboard.

"CSU's looking over the scene right now," John informed.

"I'm going to join them," Elliot stated, "Liv, you coming?"

"Of course," she answered, and they walked out together.

"So, what did the note say?" Olivia asked as they got into the sedan.

"Wants ten thousand dollars," Elliot said as he started the engine, "Typical ransom note. No money, they kill the girl."

"That's anything but typical, El."

He shrugged, "You know what I mean."

Olivia nodded, "If you want a break, if you don't think you can handle it…"

"It's my case, Liv. I have to do this," he stated as he pulled into a parking spot next to the sidewalk, "I can handle it."

And then he got out, closing the door behind him. Olivia sighed. She knew that this case was going to be hard for him… she could already see his turmoil. But she knew that she had to respect his judgment. And if he did end up breaking, she would be there for him.

"So, what do we have here?" Elliot asked O'Halloran as they walked into the apartment.

"No sign of forced entry," he answered, "Only prints here are the daughter's and the father's."

"Perp could have used gloves," Olivia suggested.

Elliot shook his head, "Something's not right. Someone came into the house, grabbed a fifteen year old girl, and dragged her out, pitch black in the middle of the night. They must've knocked something over, moved something."

O'Halloran shook his head, "The apartment's immaculate. There's nothing out of place."

"Maybe she knew the kidnapper," Olivia reasoned.

Elliot's eyes narrowed, "Maybe."

And then he walked out. Olivia followed, knowing exactly what her partner was thinking.

"El?" she asked as she caught up with him, "I know what you're thinking…"

"Really? Because I don't know what to think," he said as he lit a cigarette.

"Elliot…"

"Let's just go, okay?" he interrupted.

She nodded, knowing that if she kept asking him, she would push him further away. She had to choose her battles.

His mind was whirring. Kayla's father very well could have kidnapped his own daughter for a quick buck. How could someone do that? He shook those thoughts out of his head. He had a job to do; he wouldn't let his feelings get in the way.

"No evidence of forced entry," Elliot stated, "The place was spotless. We're thinking that Kayla her attacker. No prints except for hers and her father's."

"You're thinking the father did it?" Cragen asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's the only lead we have," the detective answered, "I'm gonna talk to him."

"Elliot, are you sure you can handle this one?" the captain asked.

"I'm fine," he said agitated from all the people asking him that. "I'll be fine."

"Did you find anything?" Steve asked as Elliot walked into the interview room.

"Tell me about last night," he said, ignoring Steve's question.

"We had dinner around six," Steve started, "Kayla went to bed around ten thirty. She was asleep when I went into my room a little after eleven. When I woke up, she was gone. I found the note on her nightstand."

Too practiced. Much too practiced, and too calm, stoic. Elliot knew for a fact that any father who lost his child like this would be much more emotional. Angry.

"And you didn't hear anything?"

Steve shook his head, "No. Nothing."

"Nothing," Elliot repeated, nodding his head, "There was no sign of struggle in your apartment. The place was totally spotless."

"So, what does that mean?" Steve asked, and Elliot could hear the nervousness in his voice. It was then that he knew for sure that Steve had done this. His blood started to boil.

"It means that I have my guy," he answered, leaning over the table, "Where is she, Steve? Where's your daughter, huh?"

"I-I don't know!" Steve shouted.

Elliot slammed his fist down on the table, making him jump, "Yeah, you do, Steve. You know exactly where she is. You wrote that note; you kidnapped your own daughter."

He was between crying and putting Steve's head through a wall. How could someone do that to their own child? How could he give up his own daughter without a second thought? When Steve didn't say anything, Elliot grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him to his feet.

"Where is she? Where's that little girl?" he shouted, pain seeping through his words, "Huh? _Where_?"

He was losing control now. Red clouded his vision, his eyes stung from the tears that he knew were about to form. He thought about how easy it would be to grab the man's throat until there was no life left within the pathetic creature's body,

He was only seconds away from doing so when Steve finally spoke, "O-okay! I did it. W-we needed m-money. I-I didn't think that it would be this big."

"Where is she?" Elliot demanded, tightening his grip on him.

"The old record on east 180th," Steve said.

Elliot dropped him, and ran out.

* * *

Will Elliot make it to Kayla on time? Or will it be to late? And will Elliot continue to be open with Olivia, or will he end up shutting her out? Find out by reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Fifth chapter... will Kayla be okay? And what will happen with Elliot and Olivia? Please R/R!

* * *

The tires of the sedan made a squealing sound as Elliot slammed on the brakes in front of the old, abandoned building. He jumped out, and ran to the door without turning of the engine. Olivia grabbed the keys, and followed him.

"It's locked," Elliot stated as she jogged up next to him.

He stepped back, and kicked the door as hard as he could. It swung open, and he walked inside. It was dark inside, and quiet. Too quiet. He could hear his heart racing in his chest. Let her be okay. Please let her be okay.

Olivia followed close behind him as he made his way to the doorway leading to another room. There, lying on an old, dirty mattress was a crumpled teenager that Elliot knew as Kayla.

"Kayla?" Elliot asked as he dropped to his knees next to her. She looked up at him slowly, and he smiled reassuringly, "Hey. It's okay, I'm a police officer. I'm here to help you."

"Bus is on the way," Olivia said as she kneeled on the other side of Kayla, "Honey? How do you feel?"

"C-cold," she whispered.

Elliot immediately pulled off his warm, black overcoat, and wrapped it around her, pulling her close to him. The cold, icy air bit at his back, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was keeping this little girl safe.

Kayla buried her face in his chest, and he rubbed her back soothingly, "It's gonna be okay, sweetheart. Everything's gonna be okay."

It seemed like forever before the bus finally arrived. Elliot insisted on riding with her, a request that was granted.

The doctors stopped him at the doors of the OR, and ushered him into the waiting room.

"Have you heard anything?" Olivia asked as she walked in.

Elliot shook his head, which was resting on his palms as he stared down at the floor, "No."

"You did all you could, El," Olivia said as she sat down beside him.

"Did I?"

"Detective Stabler?" asked the low, baritone voice that Elliot recognized from his earlier visits as Dr. Sharply.

"Yes?" he asked, standing, "How is she?"

"I'm sorry, detective," the doctor answered, "She didn't make it."

His heart sunk into the pit of his stomach. He was too late. He hadn't been able to save her.

The sadness disappeared into sudden anger for the man that had done this. He couldn't keep himself for asking, how could someone do this to their own daughter? Without another word, he turned, and stalked out, with Olivia on his tail.

"El?" she asked, but his only reply was silence.

She knew what he was feeling. Hell, she felt it too. But she knew that for him, it was magnified. He blamed himself. He saw it as just another person that he was unable to save.

He was too lost in his own thoughts to pay any mind to her as they walked out to the car. A million emotions ran through his head. Sadness, anger, guilt… shame. He couldn't save her. Why couldn't he save her?

"How'd it go?" Cragen asked as the two detectives walked into the squad room.

Elliot shook his head, "She's dead."

The captain's heart dropped, "Elliot…"

"Don't," he interrupted, and then he disappeared beyond the door of the pit.

"How is she?" Steve asked when Elliot walked into the interrogation room.

"She's gone," he answered.

"W-what? She's dead?" Steve asked, "N-no. She can't be. I gave her food, water…"

Suddenly, Elliot was holding him up against the wall by his throat, "Yeah, she is. She's your daughter. You killed your own daughter."

Tears were streaming down Steve's face by now. He held his hands against the grip that Elliot had around his throat.

"How could you do that?" he asked, more to himself now than Steve, "How could you give up your daughter to make some money? How could you just let her go?"

"I didn't," the man answered, "I didn't want her to die. I thought that she would be okay."

"You're pathetic," he stated, letting him go and leaving the room before he lost it, too.

Olivia was standing in front of the one-way glass when he walked out.

"You alright, El?" she asked, turning to him as he closed the door behind him.

He leaned against the filing cabinet, his back turned to her, "I-I don't know."

All's he could think about was Kayla, lying on that mattress, scared and vulnerable. Her face morphed into the faces of his own daughters… and he almost lost it. He bit his lip, and let out a shaky sigh, tightening his grip around the metal of the filing cabinet. It was almost too much to handle.

"Hey," Olivia said softly, walking over to him. She took both of his forearms in her hands, rubbing them gently, "You did so good, El. I'm so proud of you."

"How did I do good?" he asked miserably, "She's… she's gone. I didn't save her."

"But you tried. You should have seen yourself. You were great," she said, "It's not your fault, El. You couldn't have saved her. No one could have."

He lowered his head, "How could someone do that? How could he kill his own daughter? That… that angel…"

Olivia's gaze softened. He really was being tormented by this. She'd never seen him handle a case like he was this one. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug, "I don't know, El."

He dropped his head to her shoulder, holding her like she was his only lifeline.

She held him for several minutes, giving him as much comfort as she could. She knew that he needed it. Slowly, he released her, and took a deep, shaky breath.

"It's been a long day," she stated, "Why don't you head home, get some rest?"

He nodded his head. He didn't really want to be alone, but sleep did sound good. He was tired. So slowly, he started to walk out of the pit.

"El," she called, and he turned, "If you want to talk… if you need me… I'm here. You have my number."

He smiled softly at her, "Thanks, Liv."

A cigarette went into his mouth as he walked into the cool evening, and his hands sought warmth in his pockets of his coat.

An hour drive and another cigarette later, he crawled into bed and went to sleep.

* * *

Elliot placed a cup of coffee on Olivia's desk as he walked by.

"Thanks," she said, watching him as he sat down.

He gave her a small smile, "No problem, Liv."

"How's the Denny case?" she asked, putting her pen down, looking at him.

He sighed, shaking his head, "He's being charged with murder. He'll be in prison for twenty-five years if he's convicted, which he probably will be. The trial starts tomorrow. Kayla's being buried next to her mother."

"That's good," she said.

"As good as it can get," he answered, looking down at his desk.

She took a deep breath, just looking at him.

"You couldn't have done any more, El."

He nodded, "I know. It's… hard. You know? I lose my daughters, and I end up like… _this_. He just gives her up like nothing? How is that right?"

"It isn't," she answered, resting her hand over his, "It's going to come back to him, El. I promise it will. Life isn't fair. What happened to you… my god, I can't imagine. But that just makes you a better man."

He snorted, "Better? How in the hell am I better? I'm an asshole, Liv."

"Don't say that, El. You're not, you're just hurting. And there is _nothing_ wrong with that. It doesn't make you bad, it makes you human."

He chuckled sadly, "Well, if this is what it feels like to be human…" he shook his head, lowering his eyes into his lap, his laugh turning into a soft, barely audible sob.

But Olivia heard it. How couldn't she?

She squeezed his hand lightly, "Don't cry, El. It's okay."

He nodded his head, "Yeah. I know," he wiped away the tears that had started to form, "'S getting a little better. But it takes a while, right?"

She nodded, smiling at him reassuringly, patting the top of his hand, "Yeah. It does."

He checked his watch, "I gotta get to court. See you later."

And then he was gone.

* * *

"I'm gonna head home," Olivia said at seven o'clock that evening. The day had been lazy and filled with paperwork. They were all grateful that the pervs had taken a break.

"Wait a minute, I'll give you a lift," Elliot said.

"Alright," she agreed, sitting back down.

Elliot finished the report he was working on quickly, and grabbed his jacket, "C'mon."

Olivia sighed when he put a cigarette in his mouth as they walked out of the bullpen.

"What?" he asked.

"I wish you didn't do that," she said, "You're gonna end up killing yourself."

Elliot shrugged his shoulders as he blew out a puff of smoke, but didn't say anything. He flicked the white stick onto the pavement as they reached the car.

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence until they pulled in front of Olivia's apartment building.

"You want to come up for a while?" she asked, guessing that he didn't want to be alone quite yet.

He smiled slightly, and nodded his head, "Sure. I'm not busy," he answered, turning off the ignition before following Olivia up to her apartment.

"You want something to drink? Beer?" Olivia asked as she closed the front door.

Elliot nodded his head as he sat down on the couch. She grabbed two bottles out of the fridge, and handed him one. She sat down next to him as he pulled the cap off, taking a sip.

When Elliot turned to her, she couldn't help but think how gorgeous he was. His set jaw, crooked smile… his beautiful, deep blue eyes…

The same thoughts were flowing through his brain. It was the first time that he had truly seen her… and she was beautiful. The most beautiful thing that he had seen in a very long time.

She scooted closer to him, and he leaned slightly towards her. They were only inches apart. Olivia brought her hand to touch his cheek, and slowly closed the distance between them, gently pressing her lips to his. He immediately relaxed into the kiss, scooting closer to her.

It was amazing. Warmth flooded through his body, butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and his fingertips tingled. Her lips were so soft… she made him feel… incredible.

Suddenly, reality kicked in. What was he doing? He couldn't do this. He couldn't hurt himself more than he already had. He pulled away, shaking his head, "I can't," he whispered, "I can't."

"El?" she asked as he stood.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I-I should go."

He was out of the apartment before she could do anything.

Elliot shook his head violently as he walked out of the apartment. What the _hell_ was he _thinking_? Why did he kiss her? He wasn't going to let his heart get broken again.

But it had felt so good… so right. His fingers went up to touch his lips as he remembered the kiss. It had been so warm, inviting… loving. In that one moment, all of his anger and bitterness had drained away. She had made him feel loved again. Only now did he realize how lonely he really was. But it was better than being heartbroken.

Or so he thought.

He reached his car, and leaned against it. Tears fell from his eyes.

Olivia cursed herself mentally. What was she _thinking_? He was still in so much pain, and she _kissed_ him? They had a friendship, a beautiful one, and within five minutes, she had ruined it all.

But she smiled slightly when she thought of the kiss. It had been amazing… magical. She had never experienced anything like it.

The man had been though hell, but he was still beautiful, and perfect in every way that she could imagine.

She knew that she couldn't give up on him now. She could fix him. With time, and a lot of love, she could make him happy again.

Elliot got into the car, and let his forehead fall against the steering wheel as he cried. He didn't know why, but he cried. His heart ached painfully… like an open wound. He clutched the fabric of his shirt, just wishing that the pain would finally stop.

Shaking his head, he wiped the tears away and started to drive.

* * *

The next day, when Olivia walked into the precinct, Elliot wasn't there. She looked around, confused. He was always there when she arrived.

"Where's Elliot?" she asked the captain asked as he walked by.

"Called in sick," Cragen answered.

She sighed, and sat at her desk, somehow knowing why he didn't come in.

The day went by slow. Slower than most days at the office… maybe because her partner wasn't there with her.

Olivia knocked on the door of Elliot's apartment, and stood back, waiting. But he didn't answer. She knocked again, but the response was the same. Nothing.

Olivia opened the door, and walked inside. The first thing that she saw was him, sitting on the couch. There were two bottles of liquor on the table in front of him, one full and the other half empty. The ashtray in front of him was full of butts, and he was staring down into the glass in his hand.

She could tell that he was drunk. She sighed heavily, and Elliot's gaze rose slowly to meet her.

"What are you doing, Elliot?" she asked, walking closer to him.

"Getting' wasted," he answered, his speech slurred.

Olivia took the glass from his hand, and set it down on the table, "Alright. C'mon, let's get you to bed."

She helped him up, and he stumbled into the bedroom with her help. She pulled back the blankets, and laid him down, tucking him in.

"Stay?" he asked softly.

She smiled at her reassuringly, and nodded, smoothing her hand over his hair, "I wouldn't want to be any place else."

He smiled slightly, his eyes slid shut, and finally, he slept.

* * *

A/N: They kiss! But at what price? What will Elliot sat when he wakes up? Will he try to shut her back out, or accept her help? Review!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: What will Elliot say when he wakes up? Will he shut her out, or will he let her in? Read and find out!

* * *

When Elliot woke up, his head was pounding, and his stomach was doing flips. He groaned, pressing his palms into his forehead. He remembered calling in sick the day before, whipping out the whiskey… and that was it. How much did he _drink_ last night?

"Fuck," he complained, closing his eyes, wishing that he could sink into a hole in the ground and stay there for the rest of his life. He could see his life falling apart even more than it was before.

"Good morning, sunshine," he heard Olivia's voice from the doorway.

"How much did I drink last night?" he asked, keeping his hands over his eyes.

She shrugged, moving to sit on the edge of the bed with him, "A lot. But I've seen worse. Just came in, put you to bed… and that was it."

He moved his hands so that he could see her, and suddenly, he was reminded of the reason he had been drinking. He swallowed, and sat up, "Look…"

The thought was broken off by sudden bile travelling up his throat.

"Dammit," he choked out, and then he was off, rushing to the bathroom, with Olivia following him. He just made it to the toilet before a night full of drinking came back around to kick his ass.

He threw up until all that came were dry heaves. He sat still for several seconds, gaining his bearings before he reached up, flushed the toilet with a shaky hand, and collapsed back against the bathtub, shaky, sweating and still feeling like shit. His nose and his throat stung, there was a terrible taste in his mouth, and he felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to his skull.

Olivia sat beside him, and wiped his forehead gently with a cool, damp facecloth in attempt to soothe him, "Knew that was gonna happen." she said softly, "Are you okay?"

He sighed shakily, bringing his knees to his chest, folding his arms over them, "I'm fine," he lied, "I just… want to be alone."

She pulled the cloth away, and took a deep breath, "Elliot, pushing away the people that care about you isn't going to help anything. Why won't you let me help you? We were fine a few days ago, what happened? I thought we were friends, I thought you _trusted_ me."

He turned away, "Yeah, well, that was before."

"Before _what_?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.

"You know what," Elliot answered, his voice showing the agitation that he was starting to feel.

It hurt him to do this. He really did care about her… a lot. But he was just saving himself from the pain that he would eventually feel anyway. It would hurt less this way.

"I want you to say it," she said, "I want you to tell me _why_."

"You know how I feel, Olivia. Don't play this game," he warned, his muscles tensing, not liking where this conversation was going.

"I care about you," she said, her voice turning back to soft and soothing, "And I know that you care about me, too. Why can't you accept that?"

He couldn't take it anymore. He shot to his feet, "Because, Olivia! You know what I've been through. You saw me. I was fine being the asshole cop, and then you came along, and changed me. I'm saying things that don't make sense; I'm doing things I don't understand. I find myself trying so hard to impress you, but I don't know why! I'm not supposed to act like this; I wanted to just be alone so I couldn't get hurt anymore. But here I am, trying to reject you, and it feels like I'm ripping my own heart out of my chest because I care about you so god damn much!"

He dropped onto the ledge of the shower, and tears came to his eyes. He felt so lost, and he didn't know what to do. He just needed some guidance, but he didn't know where or how to get it. He sighed shakily as he stared down at the tile floor.

"But I don't know how much longer I can do it. I'm so… lonely, Liv. I come home from work to this empty apartment, I go to sleep in that big empty bed… and then I wake up, and there's no one. I want… I want someone to be with, to make me feel less empty, but then I think about _them_, my family, and how I can't handle anymore pain."

"Elliot, you can't spend the rest of your life alone like this," she said softly, sitting next to him, rubbing his back gently, trying to wash away some of the turmoil that she knew he felt.

"I'm scared, Liv," he admitted ever so softly, "I don't want to get hurt again."

"I know you don't, sweetheart," she answered, running a hand through his hair, "I promise I won't ever hurt you."

Her heart broke at the look in his eyes. He was lost and confused, and sad. So, so sad. She rubbed his back gently, "Let go, El. Let go and I promise I'll take care of you."

Somehow, those words made him lose it. The tears that were in his eyes cascaded down his cheeks and he lowered his head, quietly sobbing. The wall around his broken, shattered heart had collapsed, and all's he could feel was that intense pain. The asshole cop was gone. The heartbroken husband and father was all that was left.

Olivia pulled him close, rocking him back and forth slowly.

"You're right," he choked out between sobs, "I-I really do care about you. A lot. You're the only one I have left."

"Shh… I know, El. I care about you, too. You don't have to talk anymore."

He buried his face in her shoulder as he cried, letting out all of the tears, baggage and guilt that he should have been able to shed a long time ago. He had been carrying it for much too long.

She held him tightly, whispering words of comfort in his ear, how much she cared about him, and that she wouldn't let him go. She told him over and over that it was okay to cry, and that she was there for him.

He sat in her embrace for what seemed like forever, sobbing into her shoulder, and she continued to hold him, rubbing his back, trying her best to comfort him.

When his sobs finally quieted, he sat up slowly, and reached up to wipe him tears away with his sleeve, but she took his wrist, bringing it back down to his lap.

"You never have to wipe away your own tears," she whispered, catching one of the little droplets with her own fingers.

He sat still and silent as she wiped all of the wetness away, and when she was finished, he whispered, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," Olivia answered, smiling warmly at him, "I'm so happy to help you."

He nodded, and she ran her hand through his hair gently, "Why don't you get cleaned up, and I'll call the both of us in. You could use another day off."

"I think you're right," he said softly, sitting up.

She leaned over, and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, giving him one last, fond look before she made her way out of the bathroom.

Elliot sat there for another second, just thinking, and got into the shower.

As the hot water beat down on him, all's he could do was think. He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt as he thought about Kathy. She had been his wife… the love of his life. What would she say if she saw this? Him… with someone else.

He shook his head, making tiny droplets of water shoot from his short hair. She would be happy for him, wouldn't she? He was just trying to be happy again. He would try with Olivia… he would try to push past his fear and anxiety for her. She deserved that much from him.

Sighing, he turned the water off, and got out, wrapping a towel around his waist.

Olivia was making coffee when he walked into the kitchen, wearing a pair of sweats. She turned toward him, and smiled, "Hey. Feel better?"

He shrugged his shoulders, sitting down at the table, "A little, yeah."

"Here," she answered, placing a cup in front of him. She sat across from him with her own cup, and just looked at him.

Elliot took a sip of the liquid, and smiled slightly at her, "Thank you."

She smiled back at him, reaching across the table to take his hand in hers, "You're welcome."

He looked at their hands, and squeezed hers gently. It felt good, sitting here with her, holding her hand. He felt… loved. But he still had the fear in the back of his mind… he couldn't ignore it.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly.

He shrugged lightly, looking at her, "You."

"Something good, I hope," she joked, squeezing his hand.

He squeezed back, "What did I do to deserve someone like you?"

"You didn't have to do anything, El. You already deserve the best," she answered, "You're a good man, and you don't deserve to suffer like you've had to."

Elliot nodded slowly, returning his gaze to his coffee, unable to think of anything that he could say to her.

She moved to sit next to him, and rubbed his back gently, comforting him without words. He took a sip of his drink, and leaned slightly into her. She pulled him the rest of the way, kissing the top of his head.

"Talk to me," she whispered, "What else are you thinking?"

"You're saving my life, Liv," he answered softly.

She shook her head, "I'm not."

"Yes you are," Elliot said, "I was a jerk to you, I wanted you to hate me, it was so much easier that way, but you didn't. You stayed with me. Tried to help me, even though I fought like hell. You never gave up. You don't know how much that means to me, Liv. You are. You're saving me."

She was about to say something, but he continued, softer this time, "I care about you more than I've cared about anyone in a long time. And…" he swallowed, clearly embarrassed by sharing his emotions like this, "It terrifies me."

Olivia nodded, "I know, El, and there is _nothing_ to be ashamed of. It's okay to be scared. I'm right here beside you, I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. We'll take it one step at a time, and everything's gonna be okay."

Elliot nodded slowly, feeling slightly reassured. She understood how he felt… hopefully that would be enough. She gave him a small smile, and pressed her forehead to his compassionately.

"Kiss me," he requested softly, without thinking. He remembered what their first kiss had been like… he wanted to feel like that again.

Olivia complied, gently pressing their lips together in a slow, loving kiss. There was no need, no lust, just a simple, innocent kiss. She knew that he needed more time, and she could wait. She wanted him more than she had wanted anyone in her entire life. But he still had a broken heart. She knew that he was strong, and with her love, it would mend, and become even stronger. But she also knew that he was still vulnerable.

He needed a best friend, someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, more than he needed a lover right now. But he really did care about her, and when he was ready, they would take the next step. Until then, she was content waiting for him. She felt like she was right where she needed to be, holding and helping him finally overcome his tragic loses.

He wasn't disappointed by the kiss. It was just as incredible as the first… maybe even better, now that he knew she wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't believe how amazing this one woman could make him feel… She made him feel like a new man, like he could do anything he wanted to. And she wasn't giving up on him, like everyone else had. He only hoped that it would stay like that, know that he was this attached to her.

When they broke apart, she saw a small smile on his face, "I don't know what I'd do without you, Liv."

"Good thing you'll never have to find out," she answered, stroking his hair lightly.

He brought his hand to her cheek, and ran his fingers over her skin, truly amazed by her. She could be anywhere, doing anything, but she was here, helping him. He buried his face in her neck, content sitting in her arms. It felt so good to hold her, to be held by her. He felt at home in her arms, like he could just sit there forever.

The day was spent leisurely, sitting together, watching movies and cuddling. It was one of the laziest days that Elliot had ever experienced… but also one of the best. It was nice to just relax, and be able to hold someone, be held back. He never wanted it to end. But like everything else, eventually, it had to.

"I should get going," she whispered when nine o'clock rolled around.

He nodded his head, and she took his face in her hands, kissing him softly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" she said, running her thumb over his cheekbone.

"Yeah," he answered, squeezing her tight, and then releasing her reluctantly.

They got up, and he opened the door for her. She turned to him, and gave him one last, sweet kiss before she walked out.

He closed the door, and collapsed against it, a big, beautiful smile gracing his lips.

His dreams that night, instead of being filled with nightmares of his wife and daughters, were filled with Olivia.

He knew that it would take a while for him to really give himself to her. It would take a lot of effort on his part, but now he was at least willing to try. He knew now that she really could help him… if she didn't leave him.

Deep down, he knew that she wouldn't hurt him… but he couldn't get rid of the fear on the surface. Hopefully, with time, it would disappear, and he could really be with her.

* * *

A/N: They're making progress. But will Elliot's fear get in the way? Will he run, before they really get a chance? Or will he stay? Please review. It makes my day :)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey, guys! Time for a new chapter... how will Elliot and Olvia's relationship progress? Or will it digress? Please R/R!

* * *

"Hey, El, you want to grab something to eat?" Olivia asked the next afternoon, while they sat at their desks, filling out paperwork.

"Sure," he answered, putting his pen down, grateful for the break.

As usual, they walked down to the café down the street, and got the table in front of the big picture window.

"So, what's up?" he asked after the waitress had given them their drinks, an iced tea for her and a Coke for him.

She knew what she wanted to talk to him about… she just didn't quite know how to bring it up, or what to say once she did. She didn't want to pressure him because she knew that if she did, he would run like a rabbit.

"Elliot…" she started, but immediately regretted her tone when she saw the insecurity flash over his features. She had said the wrong thing.

"What?" he asked nervously.

He knew that tone. It was the tone that Cragen had used that horrible day, when he… Elliot shook those thoughts away. Was… was she leaving him? Wait… they weren't even together, were they? God, he was confused.

"Hey," she said softly, grasping his hand, "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, remember?"

He relaxed, letting out the breath that he didn't know he was holding. God, she had scared him. "Then what…?"

"How are you doing, Elliot?" she asked, answering his question with one of her own.

He nodded his head, looking down into his drink, "I'm okay, I guess."

"Have you thought about… us?" she asked gently, trying as hard as she could not to push him.

Elliot knew what she wanted to know. He just wasn't sure how to respond. He took a breath, and she squeezed his hand.

"It's okay. If you need more time to think about it…"

He shook his head, "No. I just… you know how I feel, Liv. I-I want to be with you, but…"

"You're scared," she finished, "I know you are, El."

"I don't want to be," he told her, playing with his napkin, "I'm trying not to be. But I can't help it. I know that you're not going to hurt me on purpose."

"That's right," she said, "I'm not. I'm happy that you know that now. We can take it slow, El. As slow as you need, okay? I understand. You lead the way; take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded, a smile crossing his lips, "Okay. But I won't take that long, Liv. You won't have to wait that long."

Olivia smiled back at him, and brought their hands up to her lips, kissing the back of his, "I'm glad."

"So… how about dinner tonight?" he asked softly.

She smiled, and nodded her head, "That sounds great."

Elliot's smile grew a little bigger, "Pick you up at seven?"

"Okay," she answered, squeezing her hand gently.

They finished their lunch, and went back to the office. For Elliot, the rest of the day went by torturously slow. He couldn't believe it… he had made a date with Olivia. He couldn't wait. He hadn't been this excited in a long time.

Finally, six o'clock rolled around, and Olivia and Elliot bade farewell… for now. He went home to his apartment.

He pulled off his tie, and opened his closet, searching for something to wear. He took a deep breath, feeling like a nervous teenager going out on his first date. Then again, this was his first real date he married Kathy seventeen years ago.

After much debate, decided on a pair of dark blue jeans and a light grey button down. He examined himself in the mirror in the bathroom. He looked too stiff. He released the first two buttons on his shirt, and untucked it, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows. Much better.

He shoved his keys and his wallet into his pockets, and walked out of the apartment.

Olivia's bedroom was covered in clothes. She was in the closet, throwing things over her shoulder, looking for something to wear. She was incredibly excited for her date with Elliot… she really wasn't expecting his sudden invitation. But it made her happy to know that he really was trying.

She checked her watch, and groaned agitatedly when she realized he would be there in twenty minutes. She pushed aside several work shirts, and smiled hugely when she saw the perfect outfit.

There was a bounce in Elliot's step as he walked down the hallway to Olivia's apartment. Damn, he was excited. He reached her door, and took a deep breath, fixing his jacket. He knocked on the door, and stepped back.

When she opened it, his breathing caught in his chest, and he almost died. She was beautiful to the point of being angelic. She was wearing a light gray dress that ended just above her knees and hugged each of her curves perfectly. She was wearing matching heels, and her legs looked never-ending.

"Wow," he whispered, "You look… so beautiful."

She smiled, thinking some of the same thoughts herself. The jeans he was wearing looked amazing on him… she couldn't wait to catch a glimpse of his ass. His gray button-down hugged his arms perfectly, and showed off his muscular forearms.

"You look pretty amazing yourself, El," she answered softly.

He grinned, and offered her his arm, which she took, smiling at his gentlemanliness. He was just too adorable.

He hit the button to the elevator, and turned to her. He still couldn't believe that he was actually going out with her… the most kind, caring, perfect woman that he had ever met.

She caught his gaze, and smiled warmly at him, "What?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. Just… thinking."

"About what?" she asked.

"How lucky I am to know someone like you," he answered, "You really are amazing, Liv."

"So are you, Elliot," she said, dropping her arm to take his hand in hers, squeezing gently, "That's why I am. I have to be, so you can be. I want you to be the man that you used to be. I care about you, Elliot. More than anyone in the world."

"I'm glad," he whispered, letting the side of his face fall against hers, "Because I feel the same way."

She stepped closer to him, and he sighed contently. He loved being this close to her. He couldn't help but feel at peace when she held him. She was so warm and comforting… she could take all of his bitterness away, make him… happy. She was like a soothing salve to his broken heart.

The elevator doors slid open, and they stepped onto it together.

"I like this shirt on you," she said, lightening the mood.

He chuckled lightly, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," she answered, squeezing his hand, "So, where are we going?"

He smiled, "It's a surprise."

She rolled her eyes playfully, grinning, "You're so cheesy."

Elliot chuckled, "Yeah, I am. You've created a monster, Liv. I'm going to be the cheesiest person you've ever met."

She laughed, "I didn't create a monster, El. I just… re-awakened it."

He shrugged lightly, "I guess you're right."

The doors opened, and he led her to his car.

"So, when are you gonna tell me where we're going?" she asked as they drove.

"When we get there," he answered, giving her a classic Stabler grin.

She slapped his shoulder playfully, unable to hold in her smile. He was too cute to handle, "You're lucky you're cute."

He chuckled, "I know."

She rolled her eyes, and turned to look out the window. She was seeing more and more of him… and loving every bit.

He pulled into the parking lot of Lorenzo's, and turned the ignition off, getting out of the car. She was about to open the door, but he was there, opening it for her.

"Thanks," she said, taking his hand as she got out.

"No problem," he answered, interlocking their fingers.

They walked in, and were seated by a waitress. Elliot ordered them a bottle of red wine, knowing that it was what she loved, and smiled when he saw her gaping at him, "What?"

"You don't like wine, do you?" she asked.

He shrugged lightly, "You do."

She smiled, her heart warming at that statement, "Yeah. I do."

The wine came, and they ordered their dinner, lasagna for him and Chicken Alfredo for her. He poured two glasses of wine for the both of them. He handed her one, and held up his own, "To the beginning of a wonderful relationship," he started, "And hopefully a better me."

She smiled, and took his hand in hers as she took a sip, "You don't need me to be a good man, El."

He nodded, "You're right. But you helped."

They ate slowly, talking and laughing, keeping their hands together the whole time.

"Dance with me," Elliot said when they had both finished.

"What?" she asked, but he had already pulled her out of her seat and onto the dance floor.

His hands went to her waist, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and they swayed slowly to the music.

"Where did this come from?" she asked softly.

"Maybe I just wanted to hold you close," he whispered, pulling her a bit closer.

"You don't need an excuse to do that," she answered, laying her head on his chest.

"Sure I do," he said, "For myself."

She looked up at him, and cupped his cheek in her hand, "I hope you can change that one day."

He brought his hand to his face, and took hers, "Me, too, Liv. I was hoping that you could help me."

"Of course I will," she answered, laying her head back on his chest.

He smiled slightly, and dropped his cheek to the top of her head. There was a lot of hope for him.

They didn't notice how long they had been dancing until it was closing time. Just like before, Elliot opened and closed the car door for her.

The ride was wrapped in a comfortable silence, each wrapped in their own thoughts. She kept stealing glances at him, thinking about what an amazing man he was, how special. She had never met anyone like him

Elliot looked at her from the corner of his eye, thinking almost the exact same thoughts. He felt as if he was falling, but she was becoming his safety net. He cared about her more than anyone.

He pulled in front of her apartment building, and opened the car door for her. Their fingers interlocked as they walked up to her apartment.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," he said when they reached the front door.

She nodded, "Me, too, El."

His hand rose to cup her cheek gently, and he looked into her deep, chocolate eyes. She looked right back into his oceanic orbs, raising her own hand to touch his face. He leaned forward ever so slowly, and let his lips meet hers in a sweet, gentle kiss.

She smiled as they broke apart, and he smiled back, "I'll see you later, then?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

He waited until she was inside the apartment, and started to walk down to his car. With that one kiss that he had initiated, he felt as if he was falling faster and harder than ever. He needed to find a way to catch himself before it was too late.

Three hours later, he was laying in bed, but he hadn't caught a wink if sleep. He was still wide awake, just thinking. About her… about where their relationship was going, how serious it actually was. He wondered how long she would stay before she got sick of him and left… or she would be taken from him.

Sighing heavily, he got out of bed, and threw on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt. He was way too wired to actually get some sleep. So he grabbed his keys, and left his lonely apartment, deciding a run was what he needed.

The hallways were silent, void of life. He wasn't surprised… it was two o'clock in the morning on a week night. Everyone in their right mind was sleeping. Except for him, of course. The air was chilly when he walked outside. But it didn't matter to him. He let the door swing closed, and started to run.

At a crosswalk up ahead, he saw a couple, laughing and kissing, looking very much in love. A small smile crossed his lips as he remembered Olivia's hand wrapped in his own, when they hugged, how their bodies fit together so perfectly, and when they kissed… He felt like he had never felt before.

He wondered if he could ever love someone else like he had loved Kathy. Was it possible? Or was he burned too badly? His paced quickened as he thought those thoughts. How exactly did he feel about Olivia? How exactly did she feel about him? They said that they 'cared' about each other… but partners always did that. How _much_ did they care about each other?

He didn't have those answers… so he just kept running. Running, hoping that it would help him clear his confused thoughts. It was quiet… so quiet that all's he could hear was the patter of his own sneakers on the sidewalk. It was a pleasant change from his fast-paced lifestyle, his hectic job...

Without realizing it, he ran faster. And as each mile past, he became just a little bit clearer.

At three miles, he realized that he really did need- not just wanted- someone in his life again. Someone to hold, someone to kiss and to talk to. At five miles, he realized that person could very well be Olivia.

At seven miles, he realized that, no, his family would not be mad at him for trying to be happy again. They loved him too much for that. At ten miles, he realized that he could trust Olivia with his heart. He realized that she wouldn't break it like he thought she would.

And on his twelfth mile, at 2:57 A.M., he knew that he wasn't afraid anymore.

He was ready to move on.

Suddenly, he spun around, and sprinted. He sprinted back through all those miles, all those realizations, and locked them away in his heart, knowing that he couldn't forget a single one of them, no matter how hard it got. He sprinted back home, and left behind all his anxieties, all of his uncertainties, and his shame. There was no reason to feel those things anymore. He left his old life behind, and started his new one. His new one, that he knew that he wanted Olivia to be a big part of.

She was, after all, the reason he was able to do this. She was the reason that he was finally becoming the man that he used to be, the reason that he was able to let people in again.

And he couldn't wait to see her, to thank her for everything that she had done.

* * *

A/N: He's finally thinking clearly. What will happen when he shares this information? And now that Olivia is seeing the real Elliot, will she still feel the same way about him? Review and find out!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you guys for the awesome reviews. I really appreciate your feedback :) So what will Elliot say to Olivia? Elliot gives up something important, and pays someone a visit.

The next day, when Elliot walked into the precinct, he was exhausted, but at peace.

"Damn, Elliot," John said as the younger detective entered the bullpen, "Late night last night?"

He nodded his head, "Yeah, I, uh… thought about a lot of things."

"You're not quitting, are you?" he asked in mock terror.

Elliot chuckled, "No. Can't get rid of me that easy."

"Hey, El," he heard his partner's soothing voice from behind him. She squeezed his shoulder gently as she walked by to sit down at her own desk.

He smiled at her, "Hey, Liv."

"You look exhausted," she said, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he answered, "Just have to talk to you about a few things. How about dinner tonight at my place?"

"No," she answered, and his heart dropped. No? Seeing the look on his face, she continued, "You paid for the last three meals that we had together. It's my turn. How's pizza at my place sound?"

He laughed, remembering his tenth-mile rule. He could trust her. She wouldn't break his heart.

"Yeah. That sounds great."

She smiled warmly at him, "Good. Tonight, after work."

He was suddenly wide awake. He couldn't wait for tonight.

"Benson, Stabler," Cragen called from the doorway of his office, "You caught a case. Here."

Elliot got up, and grabbed the pink slip that he was holding out. Olivia followed him out of the apartment, and down to the sedan.

When they reached the crime scene, it was crowded with cops, reporters and nosy people, as usual.

"Ready?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah. Let's go."

"What do we got here?" Olivia asked Melinda as the walked towards the crime scene.

Elliot shook his head. An alley. How original.

"Young boy," the M.E. answered, "Beaten, signs of rape, the whole nine yards."

He took a deep breath, "Let's see it."

"It's okay, El," she said softly, knowing that he always hated cases like these… the ones with children.

He looked at her, and smiled slightly, "I know."

She patted his shoulder, "Good."

He looked down at the body, and sighed. He was young… So god damn young.

"Seven to ten years old," Melinda started, "Beaten, raped, and the marks on his neck suggest strangulation. I'll know more when I get him on the table."

"Any I.D.?" Elliot asked.

"No. We can run his fingerprints when we get him to the lab. Until then, I don't have anything else for you. I'm sorry."

"'S good. Thanks. Call us when you get something," Olivia answered, "C'mon, El."

They walked back to the sedan, and he drove to the precinct.

"Get out of here, you two," Cragen told Elliot and Olivia hours later, "You did good work today. Come back tomorrow."

They both said grateful thank you's, grabbed their coats, and were out the door.

"My place, remember?" Olivia said as they stepped onto the elevator.

He chuckled, "Yeah, I remember."

It had seemed like the day had gone on forever. But finally, it was over. He finally got to really be with her.

He took her hand in his, bringing it up to his face. She looked at him, and smiled, squeezing his gently. He smiled back, and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

The elevator doors opened, and he dropped his hand to his side, keeping his grip on hers as they walked out of the precinct.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Olivia asked as they got into his truck.

"I'll tell you when we get your place," he answered. This was much too important to tell her on the way home in his car.

"Another surprise?" she joked.

He grinned, shrugging a shoulder, "Maybe."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. He was too much. His heart started beating faster when they pulled up to her apartment building. He couldn't believe he was doing this. It seemed like a dream. A beautiful, wonderful dream.

They walked up together, and Elliot sat down on the couch as Olivia ordered a pizza for them.

"Okay," she began, sitting close to him, "You want to talk to me now?"

He nodded, taking her hand in his, "Yeah. I want to talk to you now."

"What's up?" she asked softly, scooting closer to him.

He took a deep breath, trying to think of what he could say, but he drew a blank. He had been thinking about this moment all day, came up with entire speeches, but he couldn't think of a single word now.

"This is, uh… hard for me to say," he began.

"What do you mean?" she asked, "Elliot, is everything okay?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Everything's fine. I just… I did a lot of thinking last night after I dropped you off, Liv. I couldn't sleep at all, so I went for a run. And I realized a lot of things."

She nodded, squeezing his hand, urging silently to go on. So he did.

"All started when I saw this… this young couple. I don't know what the hell they were doing, it was two o'clock in the morning, but they were just standing there, laughing… kissing. They reminded me of someone. I thought it would be Kathy, my daughters… but it didn't. It reminded me of you, Liv. You and me. I thought about how… good you are. How good you make me feel. It just… it feels so right to be with you, Liv. I asked myself… could I love someone like I had loved- like I still love- Kathy? Was it possible? I realized that it wasn't."

Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, "Oh…"

"Wait. You didn't let me finish," he said, "I can't love anyone like I love Kathy. But the way I feel about you… you're so different, Liv. You make me feel like I've never felt before. You were right. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I _can't_. I realized that you really won't hurt me. And I also realized that… I'm not afraid anymore. I'm ready to be with you, Liv. I'm ready."

She smiled, and he pulled her into a tight hug. She hugged him back, grasping the back of his soft, short hair, "I'm so glad, El."

"Me, too, Liv," he whispered.

A huge smile covered his face as he hugged her. Before, he thought this was the end. The end of his career, because he could barely stand his job anymore, the end of love, because he didn't have… he didn't _want_ anyone to love, and the end his life, even though he was only in his mid thirties. But now, he realized that this was only the beginning.

He had left his old life behind, and now, he was ready to start his new one, with her.

"How do you do it?" he asked himself softly.

"Do what, El?" she whispered, running her hand through his hair.

"Make me so damn happy," he answered, pulling away so that he could look at her face.

She smiled slightly, "Easy. The same way that you make me happy."

He smiled back, letting his forehead fall against hers. God, she was amazing. She brought her hand to his cheek, and gently pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back, pulling her closer.

They broke apart slowly, and just looked at each other. He leaned against the cushion, and pulled her against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and closed her eyes.

He smiled when he felt her arms around him, and his own eyes fluttered closed. Together, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Elliot ran his hand through Olivia's hair, smiling as he watched her sleep. He didn't know how, and he didn't know why, but he had fallen for this woman in his arms. She was beautiful, kind, caring… he couldn't believe that he didn't see that before. She had saved him. She might not have realized it, but she had saved his life.

She opened her eyes slowly, and he smiled at her, "Good morning."

"Morning," she answered, reaching up to touch his cheek. He leaned into her touch comfortably, knowing that he could get used to this.

"We have to go to work," he stated reluctantly, not wanting to get up. If he could, he would wrap a blanket around them both, and cuddle all day.

"I know," she said softly, sitting up straight.

"I should go home, get changed and everything," Elliot told her.

She nodded her head, and pulled him into a hug, "I'll see you in a little while, then."

"Okay," he answered, and she pulled him into a sweet, quick kiss. He smiled at her, and stood, walking out of the apartment. Down to his car, and all the way home, a big, beautiful smile graced his lips.

He walked into the bullpen an hour and a half later, whistling. He stopped when he saw the look in John's face, "What?"

"You're whistling," the older detective stated, "Who are you, and what have you done with Elliot Stabler?"

Elliot chuckled lightly, "I killed him," he joked.

"No, really, man. Are you, like, high or something? I haven't seen you this… _happy_ since…"

"I know, John," he interrupted, "I, uh… I had a really good night."

John nodded, and smiled, "Well, keep having 'em."

He nodded as he sat down at his desk, "I'll try."

He opened the side drawer of his desk, and the first thing that he saw was a picture frame, face down. He picked it up slowly, and turned it over. The faces of himself and his two daughters looking happier than ever gazed back at him. A small smile graced his lips, and he carefully placed the picture on his desk top. It was the first time that their faces had rested there in two years.

Olivia saw this as she walked into the squad room. She brushed her hand across his back as she walked by, and he looked up at her, smiling.

"They're beautiful, you know," she said softly, "You look so happy together."

"We were," he answered, running his thumb over the picture, "We were very happy."

He sighed, and started to pull out files, getting to work. Olivia did the same, watching him out of the corner of her eye. She knew that if he wanted to talk, he would.

The phone on his desk ran, and he picked it up, "Stabler, Special Victims."

He talked for a few minutes, and hung up, "Melinda's got something for us on the boy in the alley."

"What do you have, Mel?" Elliot asked as they walked into the lab.

"I have a name," she answered, "Timothy Nash. Cause of death was strangulation like I thought. He was beaten and raped. "

Elliot sighed, and shook his head, "Anything else?"

"That's it," she answered.

"Come on, El," Olivia said, patting his shoulder gently, "We better go notify."

Elliot nodded, "Yeah. Thanks, Melinda."

Elliot pulled in front of a beautiful house in the suburbs, and turned off the ignition. Olivia turned to him, "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll get," he said, and got out of the car.

She followed him up to the front porch, and rang the doorbell. A woman in her thirties opened it, "Can I help you?"

"Mrs. Nash?" Elliot asked as he and Olivia showed her their badges.

"Yes," she answered, "Did you find Timothy?"

"May we come in?" he asked politely, dreading what he was about to do… ruin this woman's life.

"Of course," Nash replied, stepping aside to let the two detectives in.

"Mrs. Nash, we found your son," Olivia said gently, "I'm so sorry… your son is gone."

Like he thought, she broke down. He tried to comfort her, but how could he comfort her, while he could barely comfort himself? He was in another world as they finished the visit, and walked out of the house, getting into the sedan.

"You okay?" she asked softly as he turned the key.

He nodded, looking at her, "Yeah. I will be."

She smiled slightly at him, and squeezed his hand gently, "Good."

He smiled back, "Yeah. I know."

"I'm gonna head home," Olivia said later that night.

"I'll walk you down," Elliot offered, closing the file that he had been writing in, "I'm done here anyway."

She smiled at him, and they walked out of the bullpen. He pulled out his cigarettes, and was about to put one in his mouth when he looked at Olivia, and stopped short.

"El?" she asked, confused.

Elliot pushed the white stick back into the pack, and tossed it into the trashcan. Olivia smiled, "Elliot…"

"I started smoking a month after it happened," he answered, and she knew what 'it' was… the accident. "I had no other way to take away the pain. It took the edge off. It made the pain just a little bit more bearable. Every time it got too hard, I'd just… light up. And it helped. But now I have you, Liv. You take the pain away. When I'm with you, I feel like… a new man. And I know how cliché that sounds, but it's true. I don't need the cigarettes anymore. I have you."

A single tear fell from her face as they stepped onto the elevator, "El… that was beautiful."

She brought her hand up to his cheek. She'd never met such an amazing man. He was gorgeous, inside and out. Kind, caring, one of the loving people she'd ever met.

"You're amazing, you know that?" she asked, "You deserve to be happy."

He hugged her close to him, and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. He believed her. Finally, he believed that he deserved to be happy again.

* * *

Elliot shoved his hands into his pockets as he stood in front of Maureen's grave.

"Hey, Mo," he greeted softly, "I know I haven't been here in a while… it's been hard with work."

He lowered himself to sit on the warm grass, sighing deeply. He brought his knees to his chest, and crossed his arms over them, "I miss you, you know," he whispered, "But it's getting better. And Olivia… god, I don't know what I'd do without her."

He cleared his throat, "I don't… I don't know how you would feel about that… I didn't know how _I_ felt about it at first. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone besides your mother. But Olivia makes me happy."

He scrubbed his hands over his face, effectively ridding himself of the tear that had formed in his eye.

"I quit smoking. Or, well, I'm quitting. Threw my cigarettes away yesterday. I know your mother would go crazy if she ever saw me like that."

He stood slowly, wiping of the back of his jeans, "I love you, Mo. I'll be back soon."

Elliot leaned over, and kissed the top of the gravestone before he left. Instead of going home to his own apartment, he headed to Olivia's.

* * *

"Hey, El," Olivia greeted as she opened the front door.

"Hi," he answered, stepping inside, "Sorry I didn't call. I just… wanted to see you."

"You never have to do that," she stated, "You know that. Whenever you want to some, you just come, okay?"

He nodded, smiling at her.

"So what's up?" she asked as they sat down on the couch.

He shrugged, "I, uh… I went to the cemetery. I was going to go home… but I didn't feel like being alone."

She nodded, giving him a small smile as she brought a hand to touch the back of his neck, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, "Not really. I just want to be with you."

"Okay," she answered, "Movie?"

"Sure," he stated, grateful that she didn't push him.

They put in a movie, and sat on the couch, cuddling as they watched it. He felt more happy and content than he had felt in a long time.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading. Please drop a review, no matter how short. I like to know how my readers feel about the story :)


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Elliot and Olivia go out. A case comes up, and Olivia reveals something to Elliot.

* * *

"I'm taking you out," Elliot said, taking Olivia's hand in his as they walked out of the precinct.

Olivia laughed at his spontaneity. As time went on, she got to see more and more sides of him, and she loved it. She was so happy to see that there was so much more to him than the once heartbroken man, and the asshole cop that had already disappeared by now. He was completely adorable. "Okay. Where are we going?"

He shrugged lightly as they walked across the parking lot toward his truck, "Don't know yet."

She shook her head, chuckling as he opened the passenger seat for her. She got in, and he walked around, getting in himself. She linked their fingers together over the console as he started driving.

"You're so cute, you know that?" she said, just looking at him.

He chuckled, "Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know any other guy in the world that would say they're taking their girl out and not know where they're gong."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Sorry."

"No," she said, squeezing his hand gently, "I like it."

Elliot smiled, "Then I'm not sorry."

They just drove for a while, neither of them knowing where they were going or what they were going to do when they got there, until they reached the waterfront. There was a sidewalk running along the beach, and a railing between the concrete and the sand. Elliot pulled over, "C'mon."

She smiled, and got out, walking around the car to meet him. He took her hand in his, and they walked along the sidewalk, watching the water. When the sun started to fall, they climbed over the railing, and sat on the sand, watching the sunset.

"This is beautiful," she murmured as she laid her head against his chest.

"I know," he answered, brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. She looked up at him, and saw a blue deeper than that of the ocean in front of her in his eyes. He looked back into hers, and saw chocolaty brown eyes equally as beautiful.

He leaned closer to her as he felt her fingertips against his cheek, and their lips were together in a gentle kiss. They broke apart slightly, and laughed softly before kissing again. She planted one more peck on his lips before cuddling further into his arms. He sighed contentedly, and dropped his cheek onto the top of her head, watching as the sun set below the water.

"Are you sure you didn't plan this?" she asked softly.

He chuckled, "Yeah. I'm sure."

They stayed like that until it got dark, and then they got up, heading back to the truck. He opened and closed the door for her. She held his hand as he drove back to her apartment.

"Good night," he said as he pulled in front of her building.

"Night," Olivia answered, and pressed a kiss to his lips before she got out.

He waited until he saw her lights blink, and pulled away from the building.

The next morning, he was at the precinct, bright and early, as usual. Olivia was the next to arrive, and she placed one of the two coffee cups in her hands on his desk.

"Thanks," he said, taking a sip.

She smiled, and nodded her head, "I owe you."

Chuckling, Elliot shook his head, "No, you don't. Trust me."

She shot him a look, and started to pull out files, getting to work.

"Benson, Stabler," Cragen called from the doorway of his office, "You have a rape victim at Belleview. Kelsey Marsh. Get going."

"Looks like another fun day," Elliot said sarcastically as they got up and headed out of the squad room.

"What did you say to the father, again?" Olivia asked, holding a tissue to Elliot's bloody lip.

"All's I did was asked him for a blood sample," he answered, "They always punch me."

She chuckled, shaking her head, "Kelsey couldn't give us much. She didn't see the attacker. We're going have to rely on forensics for this one."

"Did she let them do a rape kit?" he asked as she dabbed away the remaining blood.

"Yup. Her mother convinced her."

Olivia sat beside him, throwing the tissue into the nearest trashcan.

"There isn't much else we can do for now," he stated, leaning his head back against the wall, "We should get back to the station."

She nodded her head, "You're right. Let's get out of here."

They walked into the bullpen an hour later.

"What did you get?" the captain asked.

"Victim's name is Kelsey Marsh. Nineteen years old, raped and beaten pretty badly," Elliot said, writing the information on the whiteboard, "She didn't see the perp, father refused the blood sample, but that isn't a surprise. They always do."

"Anything else?" the captain asked.

"No," Elliot said, "We're waiting for the rape kit to get back."

Cragen sighed, "Alright. So are we going to look at the father?"

"I don't think so," Elliot said, shaking his head as he remembered the short conversation that he had with the man. No, he didn't seem like he was hiding something. "She was attacked in an alley from behind, nothing that indicates that it was something personal. Just a psycho looking for some action."

Cragen sighed, shaking his head, "Alright. When are we getting the rape kit?"

"Doc said by tomorrow. We don't really have anything else to go on," Olivia answered.

"Alright. We still need paperwork done on the Morris case. Try to finish that up."

They followed the captain's orders, sitting at their desks. The rape kit never came that night, and the two detectives worked at their desks until nine o'clock. Elliot walked her to her car, and kissed her goodbye. He looked up at the precinct, just thinking, and got into his own car, going home to his empty apartment.

He slept through the whole night, and didn't have a single nightmare.

"Elliot, Olivia," Cragen called the next day, "Melinda called. She has something for you."

Elliot stood, and grabbed Olivia's jacket, handing it to her.

"Thanks," she said as they walked out of the bullpen.

He smiled at her, and nodded his head, "No problem."

"What do you have for us?" Elliot asked Melinda as they walked into the lab.

"You're going to love me," the M.E. stated.

"Why?" Olivia asked, "What'd you find?"

"There was plenty of blood to sample," Melinda said, "Your perp didn't use a condom. I ran the D.N.A through the system, came up with a match. Daniel Adams, convicted sex offender."

"You're right. We do love you," Olivia said, happy to know that this would be an open and shut case.

"Let's go pick him up," Elliot said, and they walked out of the lab.

Elliot knocked loudly on the door, "Police, open up!"

There was a crash from inside, and they both pulled out their guns. Elliot kicked the door open, and they rushed inside, splitting up to search the rooms. Elliot walked into the bedroom, and saw the open window. He walked over to it, and saw the fire escape.

"Liv, bedroom," he called, stepping out onto the platform.

He looked up, and saw a man running up the stairs.

"Police, stop!" Elliot shouted, realizing that he was his perp, and when he kept going, he followed.

Olivia walked down the hall, into the bedroom, and looked around. When she saw the open window and the fire escape, she jumped out and followed her partner.

Elliot reached the roof, and looked around, searching for Adams. Suddenly, pain burst through the back of his skull, and he stumbled forward, falling to his knees. There was an arm around his neck, cutting off his air supply, choking him. Surprised, he gasped for air, bringing his hands to the forearm pressing into his throat. He coughed, and realized that the man behind him was too strong for this approach.

He pushed his foot under him, using it to stand up. The grip around his neck tightened, and everything was becoming blurry. He coughed again, trying hard to stay focused. He could feel bead of sweat dripping down his forehead.

He pulled his hands away from the arm, and turned his body as far to the right as he could, elbowing Adams in the face, hard. The grip loosened just a bit, and he turned to the left, repeating the motion. Elliot grabbed his coat, and spun him into the ledge of the building, still gasping for air.

Olivia was just walking onto the roof when Elliot cuffed him.

"What happened?" she asked, stepping over to them, noticing Elliot's red face and his heavy breathing.

"He tried to choke me," Elliot answered as they walked, "Daniel Adams, you're under arrest for the rape of Kelsey Marsh and assaulting a police officer. You have the right to remain silent…"

Elliot handed Adams off to one of the officers in the hallway, and they walked into the bullpen.

"We got him," Olivia told the captain, and looked around, "Two charges. The rape, and almost choking Elliot to death."

"What?" the captain asked, surprised, "Are you okay, Elliot?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," the detective answered, "Wasn't that bad. I got him off of me."

"Alright. But you start feeling light-headed or dizzy, or whatever, you come to me," Cragen said seriously, "You gonna handle the interrogation?"

"Of course," Elliot replied, pulling off his coat and rolling up the sleeves of his dark blue button-up.

"Good," the captain stated, "Get a confession."

The two detectives walked into the interrogation room, where Adams was sitting there waiting for them.

"I didn't do anything wrong," he stated immediately.

"Then why's your DNA inside Kelsey Marsh?" Elliot asked, leaning against the wall, "Why'd you try to choke me to death?"

"You were chasing me," Daniel stated, "I didn't know what you wanted from me."

"You started running before you opened the door. Why'd you run if you were innocent?"

"I didn't touch that girl," Adams said, changing the subject.

"Sure, you did," Olivia replied, "DNA doesn't lie."

"Someone framed me, then," he lied.

Elliot snorted, "Yeah, okay. They get your blood, too? Cuz we found that at the scene."

When he didn't answer, Elliot continued, "You've done this before, Adams. You know what happens. We got your fingerprints, we got your DNA… it's over."

"You're lying," Adams said, "You're saying that to try and make me confess."

"You want to see the lab reports?" Olivia asked, lowering herself to sit in the chair across from him.

"You faked them," Adams said, "So you could put me back in jail. I didn't do anything wrong!"

Elliot shook his head, looking at Olivia. They walked out together, and turned to the captain.

"We're not going to be able to get anything out of that guy," Elliot said, "He's gone off the deep end. We have enough forensics to convict."

"You're right," the captain stated, "It's getting later. I'll take care of everything. Good work, you two. Go ahead home, I don't want to see you until Monday."

They both nodded gratefully, and walked out of the precinct. Olivia slipped her hand into Elliot's, and he squeezed gently, happy to finally be able to touch now that they were out of work.

"That was crazy," she stated, stepping closer to him.

He chuckled lightly, "Yeah. I know."

"We have two days off," she said, smiling slightly.

"I know. So, dinner? My place?" Elliot asked as they walked across the parking lot.

"Sounds good," she answered, smiling up at him.

He opened the door for her, like usual, and he drove them to his place.

Elliot ordered a pizza for them both, and they turned on a movie, cuddling on the couch as they watched it. The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," he said softly, pulling his arm away from her shoulders. When he returned, there was a pizza box in his hands. He placed it on the coffee table, opened it, and took a piece. He was about to take a bite, but she moved forward, biting it herself.

"Hey," he said softly, laughing. He held it to her lips, and she bit it again.

They both chuckled, and he kissed her gently, tasting the cheese on her lips. Her fingertips went to his cheek, and she placed one more kiss to his lips. She looked into his amazing blue eyes, and smiled softly at him, "I love you, El."

* * *

A/N: The L-word comes out! How will Elliot react? And a case makes him realize something. Please review :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: So Olivia said the l-word. How will Elliot respond? Will he run? Will he say it back? Or will something else happen? And another case affects his outlook on life.

* * *

Elliot pulled away slightly, "What?"

She took both his hands in hers, and smiled gently at him. She knew that he was unsure… she knew that the tiny part of him that was still scared was coming out, now that she had said those three words.

"I love you," she repeated.

His throat felt like sandpaper. His palms were starting to sweat, and his hands were sweating. He shook his head, "Liv… I…"

"It's okay," she whispered, "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that."

He looked down at their hands, not quite knowing what to say to her. He knew that he had strong feelings for her… but were they that strong?

"I… I think… I do, too," he whispered.

She smiled, and pulled him close. It wasn't a full out 'I love you', but it was a start. He was at least starting to admit it to himself. She wasn't going to push him to say anything else… she knew for sure that he would do it on his own.

"I'm glad," she whispered in his ear, "Remember, I'm not going to push you. Take your time, and I'll be there."

He pulled away slightly, and nodded his head, "Yeah. I know."

"Good," she whispered, bringing her hand to the back of his neck and pulling him into a gentle kiss, reminding him how much she cared about him… how much she loved him. He pulled her as close as he could, dropping his chin to the top of her head.

"You're pretty amazing, Liv," he said softly in her ear, his arms tightening around her.

She rubbed his back gently, smiling, "You're pretty amazing, too, El."

"'S all because of you, you know," he answered, his lips turning upward slightly.

She kissed the skin of his neck lightly, "No, baby. I had nothing to do with it."

He pulled away to look into her eyes, "Yes, you did, Liv. You know that as well as I do."

She let her forehead fall against his, and ran her thumb over the back of his hand, "Okay. I guess you're right," she said, smiling at him.

He chuckled, giving her a quick kiss on the lips, "I knew you'd see it my way."

She smiled, and pulled him closer, "Shut up and hold me, Stabler."

"Okay," he whispered, leaning back against the couch, tightening his arms around her.

She buried her face in his chest, and let her eyes fluttered closed… God, it felt so good to be in his arms. He ran his hand over her back lightly, closing his own eyes, and they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

He was the first to wake up the next morning. A smile spread across his lips when he saw Olivia, laying on his chest, fast asleep. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and ran a hand through her hair. His back was aching, but he didn't dare move. He loved holding her too much.

He didn't know how long it had been before her eyes fluttered open. She smiled up at him, and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, "Good morning," she whispered.

"Hey," he answered, tightening his arms around her, "We fell asleep."

She chuckled, "I can tell."

He sighed contently, "Can I just hold you all day?"

"Why not?" she asked, cuddling closer to him.

Elliot grinned, and picked her up bridal style. She squealed in surprise, wrapping her arms around his neck as he stood, "What are you doing?"

He walked into the bedroom, and dropped her onto the bed, "I told you," he whispered, laying next to her, cuddling close to her, pulling the blanket over them, "Holding you. All day."

She smiled, and wrapped the blanket tighter around them as she buried her face into his chest. Her life couldn't get much better.

"I should get home," she said regretfully around ten that evening, "We have to go to work tomorrow."

Elliot nodded his head, and sat up from the bed that they hadn't moved from since that morning, "I'll walk you down."

They got up, and clasped hands as they walked out of the apartment.

"I love you," she whispered when they reached the sidewalk. He smiled, and nodded his head, still unable to return the phrase.

But she knew that he felt the same way, and that was enough for her. He watched her get into the taxi, telling her to call him when she got home, like usual.

She did, and he crawled back into bed. When his head hit the pillow, he could still smell the perfume that she used on the pillow. He fell asleep easily.

When he walked into the precinct the next morning, Olivia was already sitting at her desk, and there was a coffee cup resting on his.

"Thanks," he said, picking it up as he sat down.

She looked up at him, and smiled, "You bought it last time. My turn."

He chuckled, "I'm supposed to buy you everything."

She laughed back as she pulled out the files that she had been working on the Saturday before "You're so old-fashioned."

"You love it," he retorted playfully, sipping at the coffee.

"What are you two arguing about now?" John asked as he walked into the bullpen, "You remind me of my second ex-wife and I. We…"

"Whoa, John," Elliot interrupted, "We don't need to hear about your various failures at marriage."

"It wasn't me; it was them," the older detective answered, and when he heard them laughing, he shrugged, "Okay. It was me."

"Glad to hear you three having so much fun, but we have a kidnapping," Cragen stated as he walked out of his office, "Remember Martin Bishop?"

"Yeah," Elliot said, "Couldn't get enough evidence to convict him for molesting Amy Walker. Where is he now?"

"All over Manhattan," the captain replied, "High-speed chase. He has another girl in the back of his car. Go."

Elliot jumped into the sedan, and threw the police light onto the dash before he started the car. Olivia got in after him, and he hit the gas before she could get the door all the way closed.

"Take a left up here," she said as they came to an intersection. The tires squealed as he made the turn, blowing right through the red light.

"That bastard," Elliot said as he drove, "I knew that this would happen. But they just let him go like nothing."

"We didn't have enough evidence, El," she said, hoping to calm him down, "It's not our fault."

"Tell that to the little girl he just kidnapped," he said softly, pressing harder on the gas.

"We'll get her," Olivia answered, "Don't worry. He can't hurt her while we have this many cops out there looking for him."

Elliot bit his lip, and nodded, "I hope you're right."

She mover her hand to squeeze his knee gently, giving him a reassuring smile, "I know I am."

He glanced at her, silently thanking her, and moved his eyes back to look at the road.

"There he is," he said, recognizing the speeding black Camry cross the intersecting in front of them. Elliot turned hard, following the car.

"Come on, you son of a bitch," he said under his breath, "No place to go, just pull over before it's too late."

The Camry turned sharply, and Elliot followed.

"He's going to the docks," Olivia realized.

Elliot glanced at her, and sped up. A thousand different scenarios popped into his head, and he didn't like any of them. Bishop, driving off the road and into the water, killing both him and the girl… just throwing her in.

He shook those thoughts out of his head. He wouldn't let that happen. There was no way that he would let that happen.

They were almost on top of him now. Olivia could see the back of the girl's head in the car. Suddenly, though, she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to see a squad car speeding towards them. They slammed on the brakes, but by then, it was too late. The car hit the back of their sedan, sending them spinning.

"Shit," Elliot shouted as he hit the brakes and turned the wheel, trying to regain control of the car. It squealed to a stop, and he turned to her, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she answered, and pointed in front of them, "Look."

Fifty yards away, Bishop was grabbing the little girl out of the backseat of the car, and carrying her into one of the warehouses.

"Let's go," he said, pushing the car door open. They both breezed past the two officers trying to apologize, and ran into the building that they saw their perp run in to.

They slowed once they entered, and pulled out their guns.

Elliot could hear his heart thumping in his chest. It was dark; quiet… he had to pause to let his eyes adjust to the light. He turned to Olivia, and they silently agreed to split up. He turned left, while she went right, and made their way through, searching for the little girl that they knew was terrified.

Elliot jumped three feet high when he heard a crash and a struggle somewhere to his right. He quickly made his way back to where he and Olivia had split up, looking around frantically.

His heart dropped when he saw her, being held in a headlock by Bishop. He was holding a gun to her head.

"Drop the gun, Bishop," he said, stepping closer to them, immediately searching for a shot.

"No way, man," he answered, "You drop the gun, or I'll shoot her."

"I wouldn't do that," Elliot replied.

His heart was beating three times faster in his chest. His hands were shaking and his palms were starting to sweat. This was the worst case scenario that he could've imagined.

"Where's the girl?" Olivia asked in a calm tone, as if there wasn't a gun being held to her temple.

"Shut up or I'll shoot, bitch," Martin said, pressing harder on the gun.

"Just let her go, Martin," Elliot said, stepping even closer, "Everything will be okay if you just let her go."  
"I don't think so," he answered.

Olivia looked into his eyes, silently telling him that it was okay. That he needed to take the shot.

He shook his head, whispering, "I can't."

She was the only thing that he had, the only thing that made him hold on. He wasn't going to lose her, too. No matter what, he wasn't going to let that happen.

"You have ten seconds to drop the gun before I shoot her," Bishop said coldly.

His words echoed in Elliot's ears. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that.

"Ten…"

He continued to search frantically for the shot.

"Nine…"

She silently reminded him that everything was going to be okay.

"Eight…"

He realized that there was no perfect shot. Every one of them had a chance that it would hit her, or leave him time to blow her brains out.

"Seven…"

He prayed to God, hoping that somehow, everything would be okay.

"Six…"

She closed her eyes, waiting to hear the gun.

"Five…"

Putting down his gun crossed his mind.

"Four…"

He realized that even if he did, Bishop would probably kill her.

"Three…"

She scrunched her eyes closed tighter, waiting…

"Two…"

He realized that he really did love her. And if they both made it through this, he would be able to tell her that, and not regret it.

"One…"

A single gun fired.

His eyes opened slowly, and he realized that was the first time that he had ever closed his eyes while firing a gun. He lowered his weapon, and his heart started beating again when he saw her standing there, unscathed.

Tears came to his eyes as he walked to her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"You're okay," he whispered, feeling her arms wrap around him.

"I'm okay," she confirmed, squeezing him tightly.

"Thank God," he choked out, feeling more tears stream down his cheeks.

She pulled away slightly, and wiped them away, "You did good, El," she whispered.

A small smile came across his lips, and he was suddenly reminded of the man that he had just shot. Looking down, he saw him, clutching his bleeding shoulder, moaning and groaning as if he were about to die. Elliot let go of Olivia, and squatted in front of him, grasping his good arm and pulling him closer to his face, "Where is she? Where's that little girl?"

Bishop didn't answer, so Elliot shook him roughly, "_Where is she_?"

"El," Olivia interjected softly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at her, and let Bishop fall back to the floor, standing up straight.

She took out her radio to call it in, and he looked around, searching for anywhere that he could've hid the girl.

He thought that he heard something, but Bishop's whining covered it.

"Shut up," he snapped, looking at the pathetic man writhing on the ground.

He was instantly quiet, afraid of the man that had shot him.

Yes, he realized. He had heard something. He could hear a tiny, muffled voice close by. Scanning the room with his eyes, he walked toward the place that the voice was coming from. A large box under one of the shelves caught his eye, and he pulled it out, pulling the flaps away. Inside was a small girl that couldn't have been older than seven.

"Hi, sweetheart," he said softly, giving her a reassuring smile, "I'm a police officer; I'm here to help you."

She looked up at him, and his heart sunk at the fear in her big brown eyes, "I'm Elliot. What's your name?"

"Jessica," she answered, sniffling, "I'm scared."

"It's okay, Jessica," he said softly, "I'm going to take you to your mom and dad. Can I pick you up?"

She nodded slowly, and he gently lifted her out of the box, holding her close to him.

Paramedics burst into the room moments later, and started working on Bishop.

"Come on," Elliot said to Olivia. They walked out of the building together, and he set Jessica down on the edge of one of the buses.

Elliot and Olivia walked out of the hospital hours later, and got into the sedan. Munch and Fin had found Jessica's parents, and they had been happily reunited.

They drove back to the precinct to finish the paperwork.

"I'll drive you home," Elliot said once they had both finished.

"Okay," Olivia answered, and they walked out of the precinct together.

"You scared the shit out of me today, you know," Elliot told her as they linked their hands together.

She chuckled, squeezing his hand lightly, "Sorry."

He squeezed back, a small smile crossing his lips as they got into his truck, "I'm so glad you're okay."

She looked at him, and brought her hand to rub his knee gently, "Me, too. I'm proud of you, Elliot."

"Why?" he asked, "I could have killed you. What if I had missed?"

"You didn't miss," she answered, "I'm fine. You did what you had to do. You took the shot. Saved my life."

He glanced at her, and nodded slowly, knowing that she was right. What he had done was the right thing.

Elliot pulled in front of her building, and looked at her. She smiled softly, and started to open the door, but he stopped her, "Wait."

"What is it?" she asked softly.

He brought his hand to touch her cheek, and pulled her in for a sweet kiss. When they broke apart, he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when no sound came out.

"El?" she asked, realizing that he had something to say.

He bit his lip, and tried to speak again, but still, he couldn't. Why was this so hard to say? He knew that it was true, but he just couldn't say it out loud. She ran a hand through his hair, waiting patiently.

"Liv," he whispered finally, "I…I love you."

* * *

A/N: He says it back! What will happen now that he revealed how he really feels about her? Please review! They make my day, and they keep me updating!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: He finally said it. What's gonna happen now? Cragen and Elliot have a little talk... but what about? And what will happen when John and Fin find out there is someone special in Elliot's life? Read and find out!

* * *

A beautiful smile crossed her lips, and she held him as close as the car would allow, "I love you, too, El."

He grinned, squeezing her tight, so happy to have been able to tell her that. He loved her. He loved her, and she loved him, and everything was as closest to perfect as they had been in a long time.

She pulled away from him slightly, and framed his face in her hands, kissing him softly, "I'm proud of you, baby," she whispered, "I'm so proud of you."

He moved his hand over hers, linking their fingers together, "It's the truth. I love you."

There were butterflies in his stomach. Now that he had said it, he didn't want to stop. It felt incredible… he loved someone. He really, really loved someone.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, pressing one more kiss to his lips before she got out, and walked into her apartment building. He was on cloud nine all the way home.

He couldn't sleep that night. But it wasn't because he was sad, or he had nightmares, or any of the reasons from before. He couldn't sleep, because he just couldn't stop thinking about Olivia.

* * *

"Whoa, Stabler," John said when Elliot walked into the precinct the next day, "Are you okay? You look… different."

"No, John. I'm not high," he answered, shaking his head as he sat down at his desk.

He wasn't surprised by John's comment… Since he had told Olivia that he loved her, it seemed like he had gotten hit in the face with a goddamn happy stick. He just couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't stop thinking about _her_.

"Then what is it?" the older detective asked, "Did you get a hair cut?"

"No," he said, rolling his eyes.

"New shirt?" John asked.

"No."

"Won a bet?"

"No!" Elliot shouted, chuckling at how ridiculous he sounded.

"Nah, man," Fin interjected, looking up from his work, "I know what's up."

"What is it?" John asked, looking across the conjoined desks at his partner.

Fin grinned, "Looks like Stabler's in love."

Elliot blushed slightly, and smiled just at the thought of Olivia. The woman that he loved. That he was in love with.

"Oh, yeah," John realized, noticing his red-tinted cheeks, "That's it. So who's the lucky girl, Elliot?"

His blush grew a little redder, "No one you know."

"What are you three talking about in here?" Olivia asked as she sat down at her desk.

"Stabler's new love interest," John answered, "You know anything about her?"

"Stabler, in love?" she teased playfully, "Impossible."

"Hey, I don't see a ring around your finger," Elliot answered in the same playful tone.

She shrugged lightly, smiling lovingly at him when she was sure Munch and Fin weren't looking.

"Hey, that's right," Munch said, "What about you, Liv? Any boyfriends pop up lately?"

"One," she replied, "I'm crazy about him."

"Good," Elliot said, looking into her eyes, "Cuz he's pretty crazy about you, too."

"Wait. You met him?" Fin asked.

"Yeah," Elliot stated, and started to pull out files, "You could say that."

The four detectives went to work, and the whole time, Elliot and Olivia stole glances at each other, silently saying 'I love you' to one another.

There was knocking on the door of Elliot's apartment. He sneezed, and got up off the couch slowly, his tired muscles aching in protest. His head spun and his stomach did flips as he walked to the door. When he opened it, Olivia's bright eyes greeted him.  
"Hey," he greeted his voice soft and raspy. He sniffled, stepping aside to let her in.

"God, El, you look awful," Olivia said as she walked in.

"Mmm," he answered in response, sitting back down on the couch before he ended up collapsing.

"Poor baby," she said, gently pressing the back of her hand against his forehead, "You're burning up."

"102," he informed, sniffling, "An hour ago."

"Alright, come on," she said, "You should be in bed."

He didn't protest as she guided him into the bedroom, and pulled back the blankets on the bed. She tucked him in, and smoothed her hand over his hair lovingly, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"Stay?" he asked softly as she started toward the door. She gave him a smile, and nodded, flipping off the lights.

She sat back down on the bed, leaning against the headboard as she gently pulled his head into her lap. His eyes fluttered closed, and he fell asleep with her stroking his hair gently.

When Elliot opened his eyes, Olivia had pulled his head up to rest against her shoulder. She had a glass of water in her hand.

"Can you drink this for me, baby?" she asked, holding the glass to his lips. She hadn't wanted to wake him up… but she didn't want him to get dehydrated, either.

Realizing how parched he was, he gulped it down.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she whispered, reaching over to place the glass on the nightstand.

"Mmm…" he murmured, snuggling closer to her. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his face.

Elliot closed his eyes again tiredly, and drifted back into a fevered sleep.

When he opened his eyes next, she was getting up slowly.

"Liv?" he asked, his voice raspy.

"They need me back at the station," she told him, "I'll be back later, okay?"

"Okay," he said softly, and she leaned down to give him a kiss.

"Close your eyes, El," she whispered, "Get some rest. When you wake up, I'll be back."

He nodded once, and his eyes fluttered closed. She waited a minute, just watching him, and then left quietly.

"How is he?" Cragen asked.

"Really sick, cap'n," Olivia answered, writing out the report that was on her desk, "He must've caught in from that witness we talked to last week."

The captain sighed, shaking his head, "Always him. Everything always happens to him."

Olivia smiled slightly, shaking her head as she signed her name, "Yeah. I know."

Olivia walked into Elliot's apartment, using the key that he had given her. All the lights were off, just how she had left it. She peaked into the bedroom, and a small smile graced her lips at what she saw. He was laying on his side, and the blanket was pulled up to his chin. She walked over, and lowered herself to sit on the bed slowly, making sure not to wake him.

She pressed her hand against his forehead, and sighed softly. He was still feverish… poor guy. His eyes cracked open the tiniest bit, "Liv?"

"Hey," she greeted softly, "How're you feeling?"

"Mmm…" he answered, snuggling close to her. She slid under the blanket, and pulled him close, feeling the heat of his fevered body.

"Love you," he murmured, feeling sleep encroach the edges of his mind yet again.

"I love you, too, El," she whispered, smiling. He was getting much more used to saying that... She was happy for that.

He was asleep again in a matter of minutes. Knowing that he would be knocked out at least until morning, she closed her eyes, following him into oblivion.

When she woke up the next morning, he was still sleeping peacefully. She placed a hand against her forehead, breathing a sigh of relief when she realized that his fever was finally starting to come down.

Olivia got up slowly, making sure she didn't wake him. Realizing that he should probably eat something when he woke up, she looked through the cabinets, searching for something bland that he could keep down.

Finally, she decided on some toast. After throwing some bread in the toaster, she walked back into the bedroom where he was waking up slowly.

"Good morning," she greeted softly, sitting on the edge of the bed, "You're starting to look better."

He nodded, wiping his tired eyes, "Feel better. Thank you, Liv."

"For what?" she asked, running a hand through his hair gently.

"Staying with me," he answered, leaning against her.

She wrapped her arms around him, smiling, "You know I love you. And I love taking care of you. So you don't have to say thank you."

"I love you, too, Liv," he answered, and sneezed loudly.

She chuckled, and reached over to grab some tissues off the nightstand.

"Thanks," he said, wiping his nose.

She nodded, and returned her hand to his hair, "I'm making some toast. You up for something to eat?"

He shrugged lightly, "I'll try."

She kept her hand on his back as they walked into the kitchen, and sat him down at the table. He was able to eat one piece of toast and some water before he couldn't eat any more.

"Good job, El," she said, pressing a kiss to the side of his face, "Come on, we can go lay back down now."

She pulled back the covers for him, and tucked him in before she layed down herself. She flipped on the TV, and rubbed his back lightly as they cuddled.

The rest of the day went by slowly and leisurely, not moving from the bed. It felt good to let someone take care of him… he loved it, laying in bed with her, letting her hold him. Even if he was sick.

Elliot walked into the bullpen the next day. He still had a slight headache, and he still had the sniffles, but he felt much better.

"Welcome back, man," Munch said as he sat down at his desk.

"Thanks," Elliot answered, sniffling.

"Elliot," the captain called from the doorway of his office, "Can I see you in here, please?"

"Yeah," he answered, getting up and walking into the room, "What's up?"

"Take a seat," Cragen said, sitting behind his desk.

Elliot did so, folding his hands in his lap, waiting. The captain scrutinized him, "How're you doing, Elliot?"

He nodded his head, "I'm alright."

The truth was that he was feeling pretty damn good. But he couldn't really tell the captain that he was in love with his partner.

"That's good," the captain answered, "I'm glad."

He gave Cragen a small smile, "Me, too."

The older man pat him on the shoulder, giving the detective a smile, "Go ahead, get back to work."

Elliot nodded, and stood, walking out of the office. When he stepped back into the bullpen, Olivia was sitting at her desk, working. She looked up at him, and smiled warmly. He returned it, and sat down across from her.

"What'd he want?" she asked softly.

He shrugged, "Check up on me."

She chuckled, and went back to work. He looked at her for another second, and returned to his paperwork.

"You and Benson are getting close," John said to Elliot later that day.

Elliot shrugged a single shoulder, "She's my partner."

John chuckled, "Yeah? That never stopped you from being an asshole."

"She's the only one that didn't quit on me," he answered, "She's my friend, John. Is that a crime?"

"No," he answered, "She reigns you in, Stabler. We're all grateful for her."

"Shut up, man," Elliot stated, chuckling.

"Tell me about your girl," Munch said, ignoring his comment.

"She's great," he replied, sighing as he thought about Olivia.

"You guys still talking about Stabler's girlfriend?" Olivia asked as she walked back into the bullpen.

John nodded, "I wan to know more about the girl that can actually handle him," he teased.

"She doesn't deserve him," Olivia said, "He could do so much better."

Elliot shook his head, "I think that you're the one that could do better, Liv. Your guy doesn't deserve you."

"Sure he does," she answered.

He winked at her, and returned his eyes to his work. John shook his head, "I swear to God, you tow have some kind of psychic connection going on."

Both Elliot and Olivia laughed at that.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for readind. Please review!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hey, guys. Thanks for all the awesome reviews :) Here's chapter 12. Elliot and Olivia's relationship takes the next step, will he be able to handle it? Elliot opens up to Olivia even more when they visit a place that he hasn't been in two years. Enjoy :)

* * *

Elliot opened the front door, and smiled brightly when he saw Olivia, "Hey, Liv."

"Hi," she greeted, stepping inside, her whole mood brightening when she saw how happy he was, "You're back to your old self."

"I am," he answered, guiding her into the living room. There was a pizza box and two beers waiting for them on the coffee table.

"Nice," she approved, sitting on the couch.

"Thanks," Elliot said, and sat next to her, "You know, it took a lot to actually pick up the phone and order it."

She laughed, nudging him with her shoulder. He picked a pepperoni off the pizza, and stuck it to her nose.

"Hey," she protested, and stuck her finger into the sauce, wiping it on his nose.

"Oh, that's it," he said, and his hands shot forward, tickling mercilessly. She shrieked with laughter, squirming to try and get out of his grasp, but to no avail. He chuckled along with her, not letting up. She rolled off of the couch, falling onto her back and pulling him on top of her.

Suddenly, the whole mood changed. They just layed like that for a second, looking at each other. Elliot moved his hand to brush a piece of hair behind her ear, and then leaned down, pressing his lips to hers gently. Olivia looped her arm around his neck, pulling him closer as she kissed him back.

He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, and she opened it, granting him access. Her hands slowly made their way down his back, and grasped the bottom of his shirt. They broke apart for just a second so she could bring the shirt over his head, and then they were kissing again.

"Liv…?" he asked softly, pulling away.

"It's okay, El," she whispered, cupping his cheek.

If they did this, there would be no going back. It would be true. But… he didn't care. He loved her. He loved her more than he thought someone could love anyone. So he leaned back down, and kissed her again. He moaned softly as her warm fingers ran over his bare chest, and she grinned against her lips.

Elliot raised his hand, balancing on his other, and pulled her shirt off. He pulled away to look at her, and the sight took his breath away.

"El?" she asked breathlessly.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, mesmerized , "So, so beautiful."

He stood up, bringing her along with him, and guided her into the bedroom. All of their clothes were gone in a matter of minutes, and they worshipped each other's bodies, placing gentle kisses everywhere, memorizing every inch. Elliot positioned himself above her, and looked into her eyes, silently asking her for permission. She nodded, cupping his face in both of her hands.

He entered her slowly, an inch at a time, and pressed his lips against hers. She whispered his name as he filled her completely, and tears came to both of their eyes. He never took his lips off of hers as they made love for the first time.

Elliot collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. Olivia ran her hands through his damp, sweaty hair as they both came down from their high.

"I love you," he whispered, feeling one of her hands rub his back gently.

"I love you, too, El," she answered.

He rolled to the side, his body still trembling slightly. For the first time, they noticed the tears in each other's eyes. That exact moment was when they realized how much they really meant to each other… how much they loved each other. No more words were spoken. Elliot wiped her tears away, smiling slightly, and she returned the favor. He gathered her in is arms, and they both fell asleep, happy and in love.

Elliot opened his eyes slowly, and a beautiful smile formed on his lips when he saw Olivia laying in his arms, still sleeping. His thoughts drifted to the night before, and his smile grew even larger. It had been amazing… so much more than just sex… they had connected so deeply, to a point that he didn't even know existed. Their bodies fit together so perfectly, so completely, like they were made for only each other. He was so happy that he didn't remember being sad.

Olivia opened her eyes slowly, and smiled at him, making him fall even deeper in love with her.

"Hey," he greeted softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hi," she answered, lightly running a hand over his bare stomach, "How're you feeling?"

They both knew what she was talking about. He smiled at her, tightening her arms around her, "Great."

"Good," she whispered, kissing him gently.

He nuzzled her nose, and they both laughed softly. He pulled her even closer, pressing his forehead against hers. They were both filled with warmth. Even the slightest contact had new meaning for them now.

"I love you, Liv," he whispered as if it were the most precious of secrets.

She smiled, and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, "I love you, too, El."

He grinned, and snuggled closer to her. This was amazing. Laying in bed with her, loving her, holding her close. He would be content just doing this for the rest of his life.

"That was amazing," he told her.

She smiled, and nodded, "Yeah. It was."

He had never been so happy to not have to go to work. He tightened his arms around her, and rolled so that she was laying on top of him. She laughed, and he joined in, his heart bursting with love for her. She leaned down, and kissed him softly. He kissed her back more than willingly.

They made love again and again that day, never moving from the bed.

Elliot closed the door of the car, and walked onto the cool, wet grass. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he read the name on the gravestone… the name that he had read all too many times.

"Hi, Mo," he whispered, taking a seat on the ground. He brought his knees to his chest, and just thought. Here… this place… it helped him think. It was sad… _he_ was sad… but it did help.

He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, and took out a picture. There they were… him, and Maureen and Kathleen, smiling, and as happy as ever. It made his lips turn upward.

His smile grew a little bit wider when he realized that he was just as happy now as he was back them. The pain of his loses would always stay with him… he knew that. But he also knew that he loved Olivia and as long as he had her, the pain would never be as awful, never be as horrible as it was before he met her.

He would never smoke, he would never sit alone in his living room and drink his life away like he had before. She wouldn't let him. He wouldn't let himself. Sighing, he slipped the picture back into his wallet, and stood.

"Bye, Maureen," he said softly, "I love you."

And then he was gone, heading back home to the love of his life.

When he walked into his apartment, she was waiting for him, sitting on the couch.

"Hey," he greeted softly, taking a seat next to her.

"Where'd you go?" she asked, moving her hand to touch his hair.

"Cemetery," he answered, clearing his throat, leaning into her touch.

"Oh," Olivia said softly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, pulling her close, "I'm fine."

She kissed him gently, "Good."

"Mmm," he answered, pressing his lips against hers. She kissed him back more than willingly. When they broke apart, he grinned, and pulled her into the bedroom.

* * *

Elliot walked into the church, and sat in one of the pews in the middle. He crossed himself, and folded his hands over the back of the pew in front of him, bowing his head, praying silently. He didn't move from his spot when he heard the door creak open.

"Thought maybe I could find you here," he heard the voice of his partner say from next to him.

Elliot opened his eyes, and looked up to see Olivia sitting next to him. But he said nothing.

Olivia sat silently, giving him space to talk. She knew that Elliot would eventually. And she was right.

"I haven't been here in almost two years," he said softly, keeping his hands crossed over the pew.

Olivia nodded her head, "Since the accident."

Elliot swallowed, "Yeah."

"Why now, then?" she asked gently.

She was rewarded with silence. So she was silent, too, waiting.

He turned to her, sighing shakily, "You know what I was like before," he said softly, "Smoking, drinking, whatever."

Olivia moved her hand to rub his back lightly, silently encouraging him to talk.

"It was about a month and a half after it happened. I hadn't been sleeping… I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw them. I'd picture them, in the car, and then… them being hit. Their cold, pale faces when I had to I.D. them in the morgue," he swiped away the single tear that was making its way down his cheek, "I couldn't take it anymore, you know? So I left the apartment. I ran. I didn't know where I was going until I walked into this church. I sat here, in this pew, and I just thought about them. Next thing I knew, I was crying."

She squeezed the back of his neck gently, using her other hand to take his.

"I couldn't stop. Nothing mattered anymore… I just wanted to die so the pain would stop. I cursed Him… I asked how He could do something like this. How He could let innocent girls die like that," he sighed shakily, "I thought that if something so awful could happen... if I could see all the awful things that we see everyday… then there must be no God."

Olivia felt her eyes moisten lightly at his confession. She hadn't been there, but she knew that before the accident, he was a devout Catholic… one of the most religious men in the precinct. She thought that it was pretty amazing being in SVU and still stay firm in faith.

"When I left, I went to the drugstore, and I got a pack of cigarettes. Smoked the whole thing that night."

"El…" she whispered, pulling him closer to her, comforting him.

He leaned back against the wooden seat, "Tonight, I came back here to thank Him."

"Thank?" she asked softly.

He smiled at her, and nodded his head, "To thank him for you," he whispered, "I realized that He wasn't trying to punish me, or my daughters, or anyone. They died. Horrible things happen, but they all happen for a reason. Losing them… was the hardest thing that I ever had to go through. I spent hours, days, _weeks_ asking myself why it had to happen the way it did. I blamed myself. Thought that it was my fault. I asked myself what I had done to deserve it."

She nodded silently, listening intently, giving him more room to speak, because she knew that he had more to say.

"I know why now," he whispered, "I know why He took them away."

"Why?" she asked softly.

"Losing them made me strong," Elliot said, "Stronger than I thought that I could ever be. I lived through that. I lived through losing my daughters. If I can live through that, then I can live through anything. He took them away… and he gave me you, Liv. And you are the best gift that He could ever give me. You're an angel. You're _my_ angel. You saved my life, turned me back into the man that I was before that day. I don't deserve you. But I'm so glad that I have you."

"You deserve everything, El," Olivia whispered, pulling him into her embrace, "Everything."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and they just like that for several minutes, holding each other.

"Let's go," she whispered, taking his hands into hers, "We have to go back to work tomorrow, and I want to hold you for as long as I can."

He sat up, and smiled, nodding his head, "I think that sounds great."

Elliot closed the door behind them, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down to sit next to him on the couch. He pressed her nose into her neck, breathing in her soft scent.

"I love you," he whispered, "I love you so, so much."

"I love you, too, El," she answered, running a hand through his soft hair.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her neck, and she kissed him as well, "I should go home soon."

He looked up at her, and pulled her even closer, almost in his lap, "This can be your home," he whispered, tightening his arms around her, "Liv… move in with me?"

* * *

A/N: The next step is taken… only this time, Elliot is the one to take it. Does this mean that he is really, truly over what had happened to him? Is he ready to move on with his life, or will something hit him, making him stumble back a few steps? Please review!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Elliot asks her to move in with him... will she say yes? Or will she be the one to shy away? And what happens when someone else finds out about their relationship? Olivia learns something new about Elliot... what will happen when she does?

* * *

Olivia pulled away from Elliot slightly, "El… are you sure?"

He smiled, pulling her a little bit closer, "I've never been more sure, Liv," he kissed her gently, "I love doing this. I love holding you, kissing you, waking up and seeing your face. Please move in with me."

Olivia smiled, kissing him back, "Okay. I will."

"You will?" he repeated, eyebrows raising.

She nodded her head, "Yeah. I will."

A big smile formed on his lips, and he pulled her in for a kiss. She cuddled as close to him as she could, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, "This weekend. This weekend, we can move all my stuff in here."

"That sounds perfect," he answered, pressing a feather light kiss to her temple.

"What about Cragen?" she remembered, "I'd have to file a change of address…"  
"If he asks, we'll tell him," Elliot said, running his hand lightly over her stomach, "I love you. I need you. I know that I can't live without you. If he wants to split us up… then so be it. As long as I can come home and see your face… I'll be happy."

Olivia's heart warmed at his statement, and she pulled his forehead to hers, "That was beautiful, El."

"That's the truth," he whispered, kissing her gently.

Her hand went to touch his cheek, and she smiled softly, "You've come a long way," she whispered, "I'm proud of you."

He smiled back, "I've told you," he answered in the same soft tone, "You're the one that made me this way."

When their lips came together this time, it was much more emotional… much more meaningful. Their fingers linked together, and they weren't sure who deepened the kiss.

In minutes, they were back in the bedroom, celebrating their most recent step forward.

"We should tell him first," Elliot said as he drove along the busy streets of Manhattan, on his way to the 1-6. Olivia sat beside him, and their fingers were linked together over the console, like it was the most natural thing in the world. He loved holding her hand… he was amazed by how perfectly her hand fit in his, how soft her palm was.

"You think?" she asked softly, the thought of transfer creeping into her thoughts. It they did tell him, would one of them have to leave SVU?

He squeezed her hand gently, as if reading her thoughts, "We talked about this last night," he said softly, "If one of needs to transfer… I'll go."

"What?" she asked softly, "El… you love SVU."

"Not as much as I love you," he answered, "Trust me, Liv."

"I do," she said, "More than anyone."

"He's gonna find out eventually. Don't you think it'll be better coming from us?"

She nodded her head, a small smile crossing her lips, "Now you're the one reassuring me."

He smiled back at her, as he parked in there usual space, "About time."

He gave her a short, sweet peck on the lips, and they both got out, heading up to SVU. Elliot knocked on the doorframe of the captain's office, and Cragen looked up, "Elliot. Olivia. Come on in, take a seat."

They both stepped inside, and he closed the door, sitting next to her in front of the desk.

"So, what's up?" the captain asked, setting his pen on the wood, giving the two detectives his full attention.

"We have something that we want to tell you," Olivia said softly, but did not know how to proceed. How did you tell your boss that you'd been seeing your partner?

The captain nodded slowly, waiting for one of them to speak.

"Captain, what Liv's trying to say is that…" Elliot paused himself, trying to choose his next words carefully, "Well… we're together."

He raised his eyebrows, and nodded his head, not giving the detective's any clue of what he was thinking. It scared them both. "How long?"

"Six months," Olivia answered.

"Six months," Cragen repeated, nodding again.

Six months. So much good had happened with Elliot over the past six months, and looking back now, he realized why. He had stopped smoking, stopped drinking. There were no more useless all-nighters like the ones that he pulled before.

"Olivia, can I talk to Elliot alone, please?" he asked softly. He wasn't sure what he was going to do about this… he needed to talk to him more before he made his decision.

Olivia nodded her head, and gave Elliot's hand a gentle squeeze before she walked out of the office. Cragen just looked at him for a second. The first thing that he noticed was how bright the man's eyes had gotten. The eternal frown that had covered his face was gone, the aroma of cigarette smoke that used to waft around him. He looked better than he had in what seemed like ages.

"Talk to me," the captain said softly.

Elliot sighed shakily, and leaned forward, resting his forearms in his lap, "I love her," he started quietly, "Cap… I love her more than I've loved anyone. She makes me feel happier than I've been in a long time, I'd do anything for her. If that means having to transfer, get a new partner… well, then, so be it. I love my job. But I love her even more."

"You're really happy, aren't you?" the captain realized.

Elliot smiled, and nodded his head, "Yeah. I am."

"That's good," he stated, "I'm glad there's someone in your life again…"

"But she's my partner," the detective finished.

Cragen nodded, rubbing his forehead as he thought about that crucial fact. As a captain, he knew that he should think about the repercussions. Tucker from IAB hated Elliot… why, he didn't know, but if he heard about this… Cragen didn't even want to think about it. As a friend, as a father, he was overjoyed to see his son this happy, this content.

"You can go get Olivia," the older man said softly pinching the bridge of his nose, thinking hard.

Elliot nodded his head, and got up to open the door. She entered a second later, and the captain didn't miss the way Elliot's hand automatically went to her back, or the way that they shared a look loving enough to break his heart.

They sat close, pulled toward one another… they were perfect for each other, Cragen realized. So, so perfect.

"You two did the right thing," he started, "I'm glad you came to me."

Their hand went to grasp one another's lightly, and a smile twitched across the captain's lips. "Elliot, you're like a son to me. It broke my heart to see you so hurt, I'm glad to see you happy again. Lord knows you deserve it."

Olivia glanced at him, and squeezed his hand gently. He looked back at her, his smile growing a little bit bigger.

"I have no choice…" he stated quietly, shaking his head.

Elliot's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. What the hell had he been thinking? Of course he couldn't work with anyone but Olivia! No one had her back like he did; no one could protect her as well as he could. And no one could protect him as well as she could.

"I can't separate you two," the captain finished, "You're the best thing that happened to this unit, the two of you. How could I give up a team like that?"

"You mean that?" Elliot asked, his voice choked with emotion.

Olivia moved her hand to touch his knee, gently assuring him.

Cragen nodded, "Yeah. I trust you two, I trust that you'll be able to keep it out of work. As long as you can do that, nothing will change."

"Thank you," Olivia said softly, speaking for both her and Elliot, who nodded in silent agreement.

"You don't have to thank me," the captain answered, "You two love each other… how could I break that?"

Elliot grinned, rubbing his finger along the back of her hand, "You can't."

The captain chuckled, "Get outta here, you two."

They both stood, and right before they walked out, Olivia grabbed one of the address change forms off of the desk. Cragen gave them both a look, but shook his head, chuckling softly. He didn't need to ask. "Come give it to me when you're done so I can put it on file."

He sighed as the two left the office, releasing each other's hands as they did so. He had to admit it… they really were cute together.

They couldn't keep the smiles off of their faces. He went for it. He wasn't going to split them up; he wasn't going to force them apart. He wasn't going to do anything. She brushed her hand lightly across his back as they went to their desks, just needing one more touch before they couldn't anymore.

She went to her paperwork, and he looked at her, just thinking how beautiful she was. She was glowing… he was sure that he was, too.

She stood up a while later, and he watched as she walked up the stairs. He waited a few minutes, and then his lips turned upward as he stood to follow her.

Olivia had just closed her locker when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist, and lips pressing feather light kisses to her neck.

She smiled, turning her head, "You scared me."

"Sorry," Elliot answered, not moving his lips from her skin.

"El…" she whispered, feeling his hand rub small circles down her stomach, knowing where he was going, "We should stop…"

"Can't," he murmured, "Need you…"

His hand went to play with the button of her slacks, and her eyes fluttered closed, unable to fight it anymore… she wanted him, too.

He turned her, and pressed his lips against hers. She pulled him closer, running her hand through his hair, "'S gonna be your fault if we get caught…"

"Door," he answered, finally releasing the button, "Locked."

"Mmm," she said, pulling his dress shirt out of his pants, moving her hand to unfasten them.

* * *

A half an hour later, they were laying on one of the cots in post-coital bliss. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, and he pressed gentle kisses to the side of her face.

"We should get back down there," she whispered, running her hand down his back, "Before they start wondering where we are…"

"Mmm…" he murmured, snuggling closer to her, "Five more minutes…"

She chuckled, pressing her face into his chest, "Okay. Five minutes."

Five minutes went by too fast. He groaned in displeasure when she started to pull away from him, and she laughed, "C'mon, lazy. We have a mountain of paperwork downstairs waiting for us."

He sighed heavily, getting up slowly, "Fine. But when we get home…"

"I'm yours, she whispered, "I know." She moved her hands to button up his shirt for him, and tied his tie lovingly.

He dropped his forehead to hers, "One more kiss?"

She smiled, and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smoothing her hands over the cotton of the shirt, "Ready?"

"Yeah," he answered, moving in for one more quick, tiny kiss before he walked out. She waited a few minutes, and then followed him, going back down to finish up a day of boring paperwork.

* * *

Olivia walked into the bedroom, where Elliot was laying comfortably, propped up with the pillows as he flipped through a Handyman magazine. He closed it, and set it on the nightstand as she laid next to him.

"Hey," he greeted, pulling her close.

"Hi," she answered, melting into his strong embrace. "Today went well," he said, pressing gentle kisses to the top of her head.

"Mmm hmm," she murmured, resting the side of her face against his chest.

His arms tightened around her lovingly. And one of her hands tangled in her hair.

"Love you, Eli," she whispered.

When she looked up at him, there was a surprised look on his face, but it softened, and he smiled, "Love you, too 'Livia."

He laid his head against hers, and his eyes fluttered closed. Eli... he'd hurt anyone else that called him that. But soming from her, it seemed so... right. So natural. He liked it.

They were both asleep in each others' arms in a matter of minutes.

* * *

When Olivia opened her eyes, he was no longer laying next to her. She sat up, and heard his soft voice from the kitchen. Her eyes narrowed slightly. Was he… _singing_?

She got out of bed, and walked through the living room. He was standing, with his back to her, in front of the coffee pot in the kitchen. He was, indeed, singing quietly to himself. His voice was beautiful… like honey to her ears. She was amazed… she never knew that he could sing like that.

She just stood there, leaning against the doorframe, mesmerized by him. He turned, and stopped when he saw her standing there.

"Don't stop," she whispered, stepping closer to him.

He grinned, and pulled her into his arms, singing the lyrics of a song she didn't recognize softly in her ear. She closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest as they swayed slowly to his voice.

"I love you," he whispered as his singing faded away.

"I love you, too, Eli," she answered, looking up at him, "You have a beautiful voice… I didn't know you could sing like that."

He shrugged dismissively, "Twenty years of singing in the church choir and to my daughters. It's alright."

She cupped his face in her hands, and kissed him softly, "It's amazing."

He smiled slightly, and kissed her, "If you say so. I made coffee, we should get going soon. Wanna pack all your stuff and get it over here."

Olivia nodded, pressing one more kiss to his lips, "Yeah."

Elliot dropped the last box onto the floor of the living room, and collapsed onto the couch next to Olivia, "Well, that's everything."

"I'm officially moved in," she answered, snuggling closer to him.d

"Yup," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her, "Now we just have to unpack all of this shit."

She chuckled, kissing his neck lightly, "Yup. That's right."

"C'mon," he whispered, taking her hand and tugging her to her feet.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

He gave a signature Stabler smirk as he pulled her toward the bedroom, "To celebrate."

* * *

A/N: I'm guessing you guys can guess what happens next ;) Nexy chapter... a new case comes up, causing some more angst. What will happen with them?


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Here you guys go... another chapter of Shattered. Thanks for the awesome reviews :)

* * *

When Elliot walked into the bullpen the next morning together, there was chaos.

"Benson, Stabler," Cragen called from the whiteboard off to the side. They walked over slowly, "What's going on?" Olivia asked.

"Jack Masefield's out," Cragen said.

"What?" Elliot asked, "How the hell did he make bail?"

Olivia sighed angrily. Jack Masefield was a pig… he'd been charged with rape… it was the only thing that they could hold him on. In reality, he raped five women, and kidnapped them. It had been one of their hard cases.

"His mother mortgaged the house," Cragen answered, "Talk about mother's love, huh?"

"Cap'n," John called as he walked over, "We found this. Masefield bought a plane ticket to Los Angeles, California."

"Call the locals. We need him back here," Cragen said.

"I did. They tried to pick him up, he got away. They say that they want one of us. Undercover, to get more info. We know the case better than they do."

"How? He knows what all of us looks like," Olivia said.

"Except for Elliot," John answered, looking over at the younger detective.

"You're right," Elliot realized, "He hasn't."

He remembered… they caught that case when he was sick. He only learned about it from the reports and the interviews from behind the glass.

Cragen turned to him, "How do you feel about that?"

He shook his head, "I guess… I guess I have to."

"I'll talk to them," the captain said, and walked into the office.

"El…?" Olivia asked softly. What just happened? Was he… was he leaving?

He gave her a small smile, and brushed his hand against hers gently, letting her know that he was there, telling her in his own special way that he loved her, since he couldn't say it out loud.

Cragen walked out minutes later, "They went for it. Elliot, you have an eight o'clock flight to LA tomorrow morning. Get home; get a good night's sleep."

Elliot nodded slowly, "Alright. How… how long?"

"Only a couple of days," the captain shrugged, "It won't take too long to find out where he's living and pick him up."

"Alright then," the detective sighed, and he started to leave.

Olivia gave the captain a pleading look, silently asking him if she could leave with her partner.

"Go," Cragen answered, giving him a small smile, knowing that if he kept her there, she would just be distracted all day.

"Thank you," she said, and followed Elliot out.

"El," she called as she watched him press the button to the elevator.

He gave her a small smile as they walked onto it together.

"So, he let you go?" he asked, and she nodded her head.

He moved his hands to wrap around hers, and smiled. She squeezed it gently. When the elevator doors opened, they released each others' hands. They walked out to the car together, and went back home to their apartment.

"I can't believe you have to leave," Olivia said softly as they walked into the living room.

"I know," he answered, "But it won't be for long, Liv. Just a couple of days, and I'll be back."

"You better be," she whispered.

He sighed, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He didn't want to go… god, he didn't want to leave her. But he knew that this was something that he had to do. Damn him and his responsibilities.

She pulled him over to the couch, and they snuggled as close as they could. He lifted her chin, and pressed his lips to hers, "So we have all day to do whatever we want," he murmured, "What would you like to do, Ms. Benson?"

"I think you already know, Mr. Stabler," Olivia answered breathlessly, slipping her hand under his shirt and trailing her fingers up his stomach.

He grinned and picked her up, carrying her into the bedroom.

The couple lat blissfully in the aftermath, holding each other close and sharing gentle kisses and loving touches.

"I love you, Liv," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you, too," she answered, laying a kiss on his lips, "I'm gonna miss you, Eli."

He nodded, "Me, too."

He looked at her, and was struck with the sudden sense that maybe, just maybe, it would take a little bit longer than a few days to get Masefield. But he shook away that thought. He was just nervous, he rationalized. He hadn't been away from her for more than two days since they met… he just didn't want to leave her.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Olivia asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"You," he answered, rolling on top of her, loving the surprised squeak that she made, "Like always."

She smiled, and propped herself up on her elbows, kissing him softly. He returned the kiss, and they made love for the second time that day.

Morning came too soon for both of them.

"Cragen's gonna pick me up," Elliot said as they sat on the couch, cuddling, "He's gonna brief me in the car."

She nodded her head, and he popped a piece of gum in his mouth. There was a knock on the door, and Elliot released her reluctantly, walking to the door. Cragen was standing behind it, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Hey," the detective greeted, stepping aside to let the captain in.

"Hi," the older man answered, "You ready to go?"

Elliot nodded, "Yeah. Just give me a minute."

Olivia stood up, and they hugged each other tightly. He pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her face, "I love you, Liv," he whispered, "And I'll miss you so much."

"I love you, too, Eli," she whispered in his ear, "Bye."

He smiled slightly, "See you soon."

He pressed one more kiss to her lips, and grabbed his bag before following Cragen out.

He took out another piece of gum, and shoved it into his mouth as he sat in the car.

"Nervous?" the captain asked.

The detective shook his head. He wasn't nervous… he just didn't want to leave her here alone. He knew that he couldn't live without her. Why couldn't this case happen two years ago, when he didn't care about anything?

"I just want to get this over with fast," he said finally.

"You really love her, don't you?" Cragen asked, truly sensing their love for each other.

He nodded, "She's my life, now. I couldn't imagine it without her."

"It won't take long," he said, "Everything goes right, you'll be home by the weekend."

Four days. He could get through four days without her, right?

The plane ride was hell. He tried to sleep, but he couldn't keep his eyes closed for more than ten minutes. He wasn't afraid of flying. He just couldn't get his mind off of her… every minute he just thought of how much farther away from her he was.

Soon, he was sitting in the apartment that he would call home until the operation was done. He opened his wallet, and a picture of him on his license looked back at him.

The name read Mike Sanford. Sighing, he closed it. He probably should have been sleeping. He was going to have a long day tomorrow… a briefing in the morning and meeting Masefield for the first time that evening.

Elliot shook his head, and got off the couch, heading into the bedroom. He got into bed on his side, and stared at the empty space next to him, where Olivia should have been. He missed her already.

Olivia lay in bed, the bed that she shared with Elliot, facing his side. She had pulled on one of his navy blue NYPD sweatshirts and the hood was over her head, enveloping her in Elliot. She inhaled deeply, smiling when his scent filled her nostrils. She loved the way he smelled.

It had only been ten hours since he left, but she missed him so much that it hurt. She couldn't wait for him to get back. She closed her eyes, and for a second, right before she drifted off, it was almost like he was still there.

Elliot shoved a piece of gum into his mouth, chewing ferociously as he left the local precinct, and pushed his sunglasses over his eyes. He scrubbed his hand over his face, feeling slight stubble on his cheeks. The meeting had been long, boring, and except for ten minutes, pointless. They had shared useless information that everyone already knew, discussed how Masefield had skipped. Who the hell cared?

The point was that he had. And now they had to get him back. The last ten minutes were the only productive moments. He was going to meet Jack at a club that he liked that evening.

He walked into his empty, lonely apartment, and turned the lights on before he walked into the bedroom to change.

Olivia walked into the precinct, and her heart ached when she saw Elliot's empty desk. God, she missed him so much.

"Hey, Liv," John greeted.

"Hi, John," she answered quietly as she sat down.

"You alright?" the older detective asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Olivia stated, starting to pull out case files.

Elliot shoved his hands into his pockets of his leather jacket as he walked into the club. Loud music was blasting from speakers in the front of the room. The lights were flashing, and people were dancing.

He made his way to the bar, and sat, scanning the room with his eyes, searching for Jack.

Finally, he spotted him in the corner of the room, drinking from a scotch glass. Elliot stood, slowly making his way toward Jack. Just as he walked in front of the table, someone pushed him. When he turned, a huge man, bald with a goatee, was staring angrily at him. Greg Taylor. One of the detectives he was working with.

"You got a problem, pal?" he asked.

"No. No problem," Elliot answered calmly, "But I'd like it if you'd get out of my face."

"Funny man over here," Greg said, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

Elliot did the same, "Don't touch me, I don't like to be touched."

"I don't do well with orders," he stated, and threw a punch.

Eliot ducked out of the way easily, and clocked him in the face, wincing mentally as blood spurted from the man's mouth, and we went down. Oops. He didn't mean to hit him that hard. All that pent up energy from being so far away from his home, away from Olivia, really was getting to him. He didn't know his own strength anymore.

Two bouncers rushed over, and grabbed Elliot, starting to pull him away.

"Yo, yo. Relax, Jerry, Paul. That asshole threw the first punch. This guy's cool," Jack said, standing. The grip on Elliot loosened.

"A'ight, man," one of the men answered, and they grabbed the Greg off the floor, pulling him away.

"Thanks, man," Elliot said, fixing his jacket.

"Not a problem. Sit," Jack said, gesturing to the seat across from him. He sat, and a waiter passed by, "TJ. Get my friend here a drink, will ya? Scotch, on the rocks."

"No problem," he answered, and walked away.

"Jack Masefield," Jack said, holding out a hand.

"Mike Sanford," Elliot replied, shaking it, and reminding himself that he would have to wash his hand in boiling water later.

"You leveled the guy," he said, sipping his drink as he leaned back in his seat.

Elliot shrugged, "Guy was an asshole."

The other man nodded his head, looking him over critically.

TJ set a drink in front him, and after he walked away, Elliot picked it up and took a sip.

"I'd like to get to know you better, Mike," Jack said, "Sander's, nine o'clock tomorrow. Be there."

Elliot shrugged casually, and downed the rest of his drink, "I'm not busy. Thanks for the drink."

And then he was gone.

Olivia woke up with a start, and sighed, shaking her head. She had dreamt of him…God, even when she was sleeping, he was with her.

She snuggled deeper into his sweatshirt, and inhaled his scent, letting her eyes fluttered closed. She couldn't get enough of it.

She wondered what he was doing… it was only ten o'clock there, she doubted he was sleeping. He was never one to go to bed early… only if she did. He never really said it, but she knew that he loved cuddling with her. He could go all day just laying in bed, holding her. He always acted so tough and rugged, but she knew that he was just a big teddy bear underneath it all. And she loved it. She loved him.

Elliot laid in bed, looking at a picture of he and Olivia. They were sitting underneath a tree, holding each other. He was behind her, and she was between his legs, leaning against his chest. His arms were wrapped securely around her waist, and she was resting her forehead against his.

He smiled, remembering that day. They went to Central Park together and just sat underneath that big oak tree, watching people go by. An elderly couple had walked up to them, told them how cute they were together, and insisted on taking a picture. He was glad that they did... he loved this picture. It was them, just being them, loving each other in a way that only they could.

He sighed shakily, tucking one arm behind his head. He didn't know why, but he had a very bad feeling about this case in the pit of his stomach…

The next night, he walked into Sander's at 9:05 PM.

"One?" the woman behind the podium asked.

"I'm actually looking for someone," Elliot answered, looking around, trying to find him, "Thanks."

When he spotted Jack, he walked over, and sat across from him. He was drinking another scotch, just like the previous night, and picking at the popcorn in the middle of the table.

"Good timing," he said, "Usually the people that I work with like to be 'fashionably late'."

Elliot shrugged, "You said nine, and I'm here at nine."

"I can tell that you and I are going to get along," Jack said, "What do you do, Mike?"

"I work for a private protection agency," he said, and when Jack gave him a blank look, he continued, "I'm a bodyguard."

He nodded his head, "Nice. No wonder you beat the shit out of that guy, then."

Elliot shrugged, "Guy had it coming to him."

"Mmm," Masefield agreed, "Listen, Mike. I got a proposition for you."

Elliot leaned forward in his seat, "I'm listening."

"He's living in a dump on Sunset Drive," Elliot said, "We know where he was, let's pick him up and end this."

He couldn't wait to get back home… one drive and one arrest, and then he could leave.

"Not yet," Captain Ross said, "We think that he has accomplices that helped him get here. See if you can get some names."

"It doesn't matter," Elliot stated impatiently. No way was he going to try and pry some jackasses' names out of that asshole. Who _gave_ a shit? "We have to get him before he runs."

"You'll get him, Detective. Don't worry, we have all the time in the world," the captain said.

"I didn't come out here to run a full-on investigation. That could take months, and I _do_ have other cases waiting on my desk. I came here to get him and go."

"You seem to forget who, Stabler," Ross stated, "is in charge here, As long as you're here, your ass is mine. And we do things my way. Understand?"

Elliot was silent, unwilling to give in. This was the exact kind of cop that he hated. The kind that thought he was better than anyone else, and thought that they were always right and everyone else could go to Hell with their opinions. He didn't want this. He was supposed to be going home to Olivia the day after tomorrow.

"I asked you a question, Detective. Do you understand?"

He clenched his teeth, bit his tongue and lowered his eyes in defeat, "Yes, Sir."

"Good. Now get back to work."

Elliot walked into a convenience store, and looked behind the counter, seeing all the packets of cigarettes. He swallowed enviously, and opened his mouth to ask the cashier for a pack. Just one. Just one, to calm his nerves so he could actually make it through this. He swallowed back the urge, shaking his head. Instead, he grabbed a pack of gum. He had chewed three since he got out here.

He needed to get out of there, and get home before he did something stupid. Like sock the captain. Or buy a pack of cigarettes.

He didn't know how long he could go before he snapped. But he hoped to God that he wouldn't have to go very far.

* * *

A/N: Oh no! They're apart! How long will it last? And will their time apart lead to new realizations? Or will their relationship crumble under the stress? Please review!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Hey, guys. Thanks for the great feedback last chapter :) Up next... how will Elliot and Olivia cope without each other? When will the reunite, or will they at all? Please R&R.

* * *

Olivia walked into the bullpen, and her heart cracked painfully as she saw his desk, empty and abandoned, like it had been for the two weeks that he had been gone. Two _weeks_… he was only meant to be gone for a quarter of that.

She hadn't heard anything… anything at all. It was beginning to scare her… what was happening out there? Why was it taking so long for him to come back to her?

"Hey, Liv," John greeted softly, and Olivia gave him a tiny smile before she sat down at her desk.

"Hi, John."

"How're you doing?" the older detective asked.

"Eh," she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

John nodded, understanding, "He's gonna come home, Olivia. He's gonna be okay."

Olivia nodded, "Thanks, John."

Munch got up, and sat across from her in Elliot's seat, "What's been going on with you two? You've been acting… different."

Olivia shrugged innocently, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Liv. I'm not blind. You two hated each other a few months ago, and now you're best friends. What's going on?"

Olivia sighed. She could trust John, couldn't she? "I love Elliot. And he loves me. Is that what you wanted yo hear?"

"Wow," John said, shaking his head, "Really? That's amazing. You two… I would've never expected it."

Olivia laughed softly, shaking her head as she thought about them, "A while ago, I would've thought the same thing, but…"

The small smile that had formed on her lips grew wider, "I love him. More than anything, and I miss him."

"Wow," John said, "That's great."

"Shh. Listen, John. No one else can know. We haven't talked about telling everyone else yet. The only other person that knows is Cragen, and that's the only because I had to file change of address papers."

"Wow. It's that serious?"

"Yeah," she answered, "It's that serious."

"I'm happy for you two," John said, and moved back to sit at his own desk.

"Thanks," she replied quietly, and looked down at her paperwork.

Elliot scratched the light, scruffy beard that was forming on his cheeks, and sighed. Three weeks since he had been here, in this hellhole. Twenty one days since he had held Olivia, kissed her, told her how much he loved her.

He was cracking. It seemed as if this case was going to last forever…

"Stabler," he heard the captain call from his office.

"What?" he asked, getting up and walking to the doorway.

"You set up that meeting with Masefield's friend? His accomplice?"

Elliot nodded his head, "Yeah. For tonight."

"Then what are you still doing here? Get your ass out there!"

Elliot bit his tongue, feeling his anger spike, but he just nodded, "Yeah. See you tomorrow."

And then he was gone. God, he hated that man.

Olivia was sitting at her desk filing out paperwork when John walked over, and sat down across from her, "Hey, Liv. Fin and I are heading out, going to get a drink. You want to come?"

"I dunno, John," she answered.

She just wanted to go back home, climb into bed, and cuddle with Elliot's sweatshirt, since she couldn't cuddle with him.

"Aw, come on. Have some fun. Why, not you have plans? Or are you going to just go back home and sulk?"

She shrugged her shoulder… that's exactly what she wanted to do.

"Just come out, have a good time. That's what he would want you to do, isn't it?"

She lowered her eyes, playing with the blank sheet on her desk, "Jeez, you make it sound like he's dead or something," she mumbled.

"He's not dead," John told her, "He's not going to die, either. He's going to come back soon. The case probably just took a little longer than they thought it would."

She nodded her head, and was silent for several minutes, before she finally said something, "Okay. I'll go with you guys. Only for a little while, though."

John smiled, and nodded his head, "Good."

Two hours later, Olivia walked into the apartment, and closed the door behind her. She sighed, and sat down on the couch, taking the picture of Elliot and her off of the coffee table. It was the same one that Elliot carried with him… her favorite one of them.

She traced her finger over his handsome features, and sighed heavily, pressing the frame to her chest as she thought about him. She didn't know how much longer she could take without him.

Elliot walked into another one of the many expensive Los Angeles restaurants, and as usual, he found one of the sleaze balls that he was forced to work with, drinking some type of alcohol. He was pretty sure that his name was Patrick Daniels… but all of the names were running together. He couldn't keep track of them all. Or, maybe he didn't want to.

Either way, he sat down across from him, and he received a friendly greeting, just like he did from the rest of them, "Mike, how're you doing? Can I get you a drink."

Elliot shook his head, "I'm fine, thanks."

The rest of the night went by in a blur. When Elliot walked back into his apartment, he felt more frustrated than ever. It had been just another day… just another wasted day that didn't get him any closer to going home.

Another case. Another crime scene where Elliot should have been there with her, but wasn't. It hade been nearly two months since Elliot joined her at one of these crime scenes… two months since she had slept in the comforting arms of his embrace. It was nine o'clock at night, and dark. Olivia was looking over the body of a thirty year old female.

She sighed heavily, running a hand through her messy hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail. She didn't do it up anymore… he was the only person that she wanted to impress. The possibility of never seeing him again invaded her thoughts, almost making her vomit.

"Olivia? Are you okay?" Melinda asked, looking up from the body.

_No. I want the love of my life back._

"Yeah, Mel. I'm fine," she answered instead, "I just need a minute."

She stood up straight, and took a few steps away from the body and Melinda.

"I need you to come home now, El," she whispered so quietly that she could barely hear it, praying that he could, as well, "Please come home soon."

Her eyes were drawn to the street, and she saw a black sedan pull up across the street. The door opened, and a man stepped out. It was dark, but she could still see him clearly. He was wearing a plain pair of jeans. A dark blue shirt and a leather jacket covered his chest, and a black NYPD cap obstructed her view of most of his face.

But that didn't matter. She knew who it was… she had known since he opened the door, she could recognize him anywhere. He raised his head, and his eyes met hers. Her heart, which had stopped for the entire one month, three weeks and five days that he had been gone, finally started again.

The icy grip that had clutched his heart finally eased, and he was filled with warmth when he saw her.

She started toward him, and her walk gradually turned into a jog. He took two quick strides, and she jumped into his open arms. He caught her, just like he always did.

They were laughing and crying at the same time as he held her to his chest, spinning her around. She wrapped one arm tightly around him, and grasped his soft hair in her other fist, pressing her face into his shoulder, "Elliot…"

He lowered her to her feet, and moved one hand under her chin, lifting it so he could look into her big, chocolate brown eyes. They were so much more beautiful than he remembered…

"Eli," she whispered, using the nickname that she had longed to call him since that morning when Cragen came to pick him up.

"Livia," he answered.

She cupped his face in both of her hands, and gently pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back more than willingly. Fireworks exploded between them, just like always.

"You're home," she whispered as they broke apart, "Thank God you're home."

"Mmm hmm," he murmured, dropping his forehead to hers.

She laughed softly, running her fingers over his bearded cheek, "You need to shave."

He laughed along with her, and nodded, "I'll shave."

"I see you two have reacquainted yourselves," Cragen said as he walked over, happy to see them together again. He knew that she felt terrible without him… the captain could only imagine how Elliot felt.

Elliot turned toward him, but kept her wrapped tightly in his arms. "I guess we have."

The captain chuckled, "I can tell you two will be all over each other if I make you stay. Get out of here, I don't want to see either of you two until Monday."

And then he was gone, walking back towards the crime scene. Elliot released her from his arms, and grasped her hand as they walked toward her car.

Elliot and Olivia stumbled into their apartment, kissing deeply. He closed the door with his foot, almost tripping in the process, making them both laugh softly against each others' lips. Olivia brought her hands up to his head, knocking the baseball cap off, and ran them through his soft hair. The broke apart, breathless, and he grinned, pulling her even closer to him, "I love you, Liv."

"I love you, too, El," she whispered, "I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too," he answered, "I almost went crazy without you."

She smiled, and he returned his lips to hers… god, it felt so good to kiss her, hold her in his arms again. They had been apart for far too long… he never wanted to have to go through that again. He didn't want to be away from her for more than a day.

She brushed his coat off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, and he did the same to hers. He grinned, and took both of her hands in his as he guided her into the bedroom. They shed their clothing quickly, and collapsed onto the bed, and he entered her for the first time in two months.

It was slow, loving, and everything that they had wanted since he left two months ago. They kept their eyes locked on each others the whole time, making their incredible experience even more meaningful, and he told her than he loved her more times that he could count. She returned the phrase each time with just as much conviction. He told her how beautiful she was, how perfect she was for him in every way, and how he never wanted anyone else besides her.

They came together at the same time. She gently pulled him down so that he was laying on top of her, sweaty, trembling and breathing heavily. One arm wrapped around his waist, and the other ran through his hair as they both came down from their high.

"Love you, Livia," he whispered, snuggling into her.

"Love you, too, Eli," she answered.

When he got enough strength, he rolled to the side, gathering her in his arms. She snuggled close to him, and they both drifted off into the deepest, most wonderful sleep that they had in two months.

Olivia was the first to wake up the next morning. She smiled hugely when she saw him sleeping peacefully beside her… he really was home. Thank god. She brought her hand to touch his cheek, reminding herself to get him to shave. He was way too prickly.

His eyes opened slowly, and a grin spread across his features, "Good morning."

"Hi," she answered, pressing a gentle kiss to his chest.

His arms tightened around her, and he kissed her gently. She laughed softly as his beard tickled her, and he pulled away, slightly puzzled. She gently ran her fingers across his cheek, and he smiled, remembering. He pressed a gently kiss to her nose, "Don't move."

He got up, not bothering to put any clothes on, and walked into the bathroom. She craned her neck, trying to get a better look at what he was doing, but to no avail. She heard the water running, and then he was walking back into the bedroom. She smiled when she saw his clear, smooth skin.

"That's better," she whispered, running her fingertips over his newly shaven face as he climbed back into bed. He grinned, "Good."

She snuggled into him, sighing contently, and looked up at him, "Sing to me?"

"You really like that, don't you?" Elliot said, moving his hand to touch her cheek.

Olivia nodded her head, "I told you before. I love it when you sing to me."

"Well, how can I say no to that?" he murmured, and she smiled, "I hope you can't."

He cleared his throat, knowing exactly what he wanted to sing to her.

_Just one more moment,_  
_That's all that's needed,_  
_Like wounded soldiers,_  
_In need of healing_  
_Time to be honest_  
_This time I'm pleading_  
_Please don't dwell on it_  
_'Cause I didn't mean it _

_I can't believe I said_  
_I'd lay our love on the ground,_  
_But it doesn't matter 'cause_  
_I made it up forgive me now_  
_Everyday I spend away_  
_My souls inside out_  
_Gotta be some way_  
_That I can make it up_  
_To you now, somehow _

_By now you know that,_  
_I'd come for you,_  
_No one but you,_  
_Yes I'd come for you,_  
_But only if you told me to,_  
_And I'd fight for you,_  
_I'd lie its true,_  
_Give my life for you,_  
_You know I'd always come for you_

His voice was so much better than she had remembered… it was low, smooth, like honey to her ears.

_I was blindfolded_  
_But now I'm seeing_  
_My mind was closing_  
_Now I'm believing_  
_I finally know just what it means to let someone in_  
_To see the side of me that no one does or ever will_  
_So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone_  
_I'd search forever just to bring you home_  
_Here and now, this I vow _

Her heart warmed when she realized how much these lyrics meant to him. She could sense the emotions that he was feeling. She ran her hands down his back lightly as he continued.

_By now you know that,_  
_I'd come for you,_  
_No one but you,_  
_Yes I'd come for you,_  
_But only if you told me to,_  
_And I'd fight for you,_  
_I'd lie its true,_  
_Give my life for you,_  
_You know I'd always come for you,_  
_You know I'd always come for you _

_No matter what gets in my way,_  
_As long as there's still life in me,_  
_No matter what remember you know I'd always come for_  
_you _

_Yes I'd come for you,_  
_No one but you,_  
_Yes I'd come for you,_  
_But only if you told me to,_  
_And I'd fight for you,_  
_I'd lie its true,_  
_Give my life for you,_  
_You know I'd always come for you, _

_No matter what gets in my way,_  
_As long as there's still life in me,_  
_No matter what remember you know I'd always come for_  
_you,_  
_I'd crawl across this world for you,_  
_Do anything you want me to,_  
_No matter what remember you know I'd always come for_  
_you,_  
_You know id always come for you._

A/N: Awww... they're back together :) I hate them being apart just as much as you guys do. So now that they're back, what will happen? Please review :)


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: What will happen after Elliot finishes his song? Elliot forms a plan, and Christmas rolls around :)

* * *

"El…" Olivia whispered, cupping his cheek gently, "That was so beautiful."

"And every word of it's true," Elliot answered, touching the back of her hand with his fingertips, "You're the reason I am who I am. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be dead, or… dead on the inside, at least. I know it sounds awful, but… it's the truth, Liv. You're the best thing that you could have happened to me."

She smiled softly at him, "All's I can say is that I love you, Eli. Back when… when Cragen told me what happened to you… God, it was terrible. I felt the worst that I've ever felt," tears were forming in her eyes now, "He told me how happy you were, and then to see you so angry, so broken… god, it killed me. And then when you cried in that hallway for the first time… you broke my heart. I knew that I had to help you."

"Livia," he whispered, feeling tears form in his own eyes. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he pulled her close, and they cried softly together.

"I never want to be that person again, Liv," he whispered, "I hated everyone, everything, even _myself_, because…" he let out a soft sob, "Because I was breathing, and… and my daughters weren't. C-can you imagine that? I hated myself for _breathing_. For fucking _breathing_, Liv. And I hated you. I hated you because you made me the grieving father again, instead of the asshole cop that I wanted to be. No one asked questions that way; no one cared about the guy that treated everybody like shit. That's how I wanted it. But you were different. You made me feel, when I only wanted to be numb."

He took a deep breath, and pulled her as close as he could before he continued, "You… you made my heart break all over again, Olivia. You made me hurt more than I thought I could handle. But you never left. You made me feel that pain... You broke my heart. But then you put it back together. You took the pain away. You always take the pain away."

She cupped his face in her hands, and kissed him gently. He returned the kiss willingly, pulling her face even closer. The kiss was gentle, and loving, mirroring all of the feelings that they felt for each other. They broke apart just for a second, and he smiled slightly at her before kissing her again.

"I'll always be here for you, El," she whispered when they broke apart again, "Whenever you need me, I'll be here."

"I'll always need you, Liv," he answered, "Having to go two months without you made me realize that."

She smiled, and nuzzled his nose gently, "I need you, too."

He pulled her as close as he could, and she cuddled into her shoulder. They stayed like that all day, never moving from the bed.

Elliot opened his eyes, and yawned. They must have fallen asleep, he realized as he looked at Olivia, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms. He smiled, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her… he didn't want to spend another moment without her. His smile grew wider as a plane formed in his mind.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia stayed in bed for the rest of the weekend, too wrapped up in each other to move even a foot away from each other.

"I don't want to go back to work," Olivia whispered, cuddling further into Elliot's chest. It was late Sunday night; they had just finished making love a little while ago.

"Me neither," he answered, pressing his nose into her hair, "Just want to stay here forever…"

Her arms tightened around his back, and she pressed a kiss to the hollow of his neck, "Me too."

His eyes fluttered closed, and he drifted off to sleep. She followed soon after.

The alarm woke them both the next morning. They got up, showered together, had a quickie, and dressed each other lovingly.

"We're gonna be late," Olivia whispered as she tightened his tie.

He nodded, pressed a kiss to her lips, and they were on their way. "Look whose back," John stated when the two walked into the bullpen together, "Nice to see you back, man."

"Thanks," Elliot answered as he sat down at his desk, "Nice to be back."

"Olivia was a mess without you, ya know."

"I guess I'm just a good partner," he stated, glancing at Olivia.

John smirked knowingly, and shook his head, looking back down at his paperwork.

Elliot looked from Olivia, and then back to John, "What was that for?"

The older detective shook his head, smirking slightly.

"El," Olivia said gently. He looked at her, "He knows."

"You told him?"

"She didn't really need to," Munch interrupted, "Congratulations, though. I guess you make a good couple.

Both Elliot and Olivia laughed at that.

* * *

Olivia sighed as she stood in the men's section of the jewelry department of JCPenny. It was December 15… ten days until Christmas, and she had no idea what she was going to get Elliot. It was their first Christmas together as a couple… she wanted to get him something special. But he didn't do rings, and the only necklace that he would ever wear were his dog tags and a silver cross that Maureen and Kathleen had got him one year.

She scanned the glass again, and this time, one piece caught her eye.

Elliot smiled slightly as he finished wrapping the small box. He hadn't been this excited for Christmas in years. He stood up from his spot on the couch, and made his way into the bedroom. He heard the front door open just as he put the box in his drawer.

"Hey," she greeted, wrapping her arms around him from behind, kissing the back of his neck gently.

"Hi," he answered, smiling as he hugged her back.

She laid two gentle kisses to his lips, and he grinned, "Mmm…"

Olivia chuckled lightly before he covered her mouth with his.

"Alright, six o'clock. Everybody out," Cragen announced from the doorway of his office.

"I'll meet you by the elevator," Elliot whispered to Olivia, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

When he looked up, John was smiling and shaking his head at them.

"What?" Elliot asked, a smile forming on his lips.

"You two are too damn cute," he answered, throwing on his jacket, "Merry Christmas. See you tomorrow."

Olivia laughed as John walked out, "I've never heard him say anything like that."

Elliot chuckled along with her, dropping his forehead to hers when he realized that everyone else was gone, "I know."

She gave him a peck on the lips before she grabbed her jacket, "Elevator, right?"

He nodded, and she walked out. Elliot opened his desk, pulling out a small wrapped box. He walked to the captain's office, and Cragen looked up from his paperwork, "Hey, Elliot. I thought you left."

"Not yet," he answered, sitting down across from the captain.

He pulled the box out of his pocket, and placed it on his desk, sliding it over to him, "Here. This is for you."

"Elliot, you didn't have to," Cragen said.

"I know," he said.

The captain smiled slightly, and opened it. His breath caught in his chest when he saw what was inside. It was a silver pocket watch with the New York Police Department seal on it, with Captain written above it.

"Elliot, this is great," he said.

Elliot shrugged lightly, "It's the least I could do, after all you've done for me."

"Like what?" the captain asked.

Elliot shrugged again, standing, "Saving my life. Merry Christmas, cap'n"

And then he was gone. Cragen smiled, placing the pocket watch back in the box. It was the first time that he ever mentioned that day on the roof. Elliot was smiling when he walked out of the bullpen. A grin spread across Olivia's lips when she saw it, "You look happy."

He shrugged, taking her hand in his as they walked into the elevator, "I am happy."

Olivia squeezed his hand lightly, "That's good. I'm glad."

They kept their fingers interlocked as they walked out of the precinct and even in the car on the home.

Elliot closed the door of the apartment, and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to her neck, "We're alone."

"Mmm hmm," she answered, letting her eyes flutter closed. Her arms wrapped around his waist as his hands ran down her body, "El…"

"We don't have to go to work tomorrow," he whispered in her ear, "And it's Christmas. Whatever you want, baby. Tell me what ever you want and I'll give it to you."

"I want you to make love to me, El," she answered, "All night."

He grinned, dropping his forehead to hers as his hands went to the bottom of her shirt, "I can do that."

And they did. They made love, every where and in every way, until the wee hours of the morning, when they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, Elliot woke up first. He grinned as he saw Olivia sleeping peacefully next to him. Already, this was the best Christmas that he's had in a long time. Her eyes opened slowly.

"Hi, Liv," he greeted softly, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, El," she answered, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.

His smile grew wider, and he got up, slipping on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the top of the dresser, "I have something for you," he said, walking to her and taking her hand in his

She smiled, and got out of the bed. Her naked form took his breath away, and she walked to his drawer, pulling on one of his t-shirts. It went down to her knees, and he grinned. She looked adorable.

"And I have something for you," she told him, clutching his hand as they walked out into the living room.

"Me first," he said, and handed her the small wrapped package from the drawer of the coffee table.

She took it, and opened it slowly, revealing a black box. Her breathing caught in her chest when she saw what was sitting in the box. It was a golden heart necklace with the word _forever_ engraved in the front.

"Oh, Elliot," she breathed, "It's beautiful. I love it."

He smiled, and took her hand, guiding her to the mirror above the mantle. He brushed her hair out of the way, and clasped the necklace around her neck. His arms wrapped around her waist as her hand went to the heart.

"Forever," she murmured, looking up at him.

"You have my heart, Liv," he answered, covering her hand with his, "That's how long I'll love you, if you'll let me. Forever."

"El…" she said, "I think that sounds amazing."

He smiled, and dropped his forehead to hers. Their lips met, and with that kiss, Elliot knew that it was okay. He knew what he could do now. He knew that she wouldn't run. And neither would he.

"Almost forgot my gift," she murmured, picking up the box off the mantle, "Here you go."

He sat back down on the couch, and she followed suit as he unwrapped the box. Inside was a shiny silver watch. Engraved on the back was _I love you, Eli. Merry Christmas. _A grin spread across his lips.

"I know it's not as good as yours, but…"

He stopped her by pulling her close, kissing her gently.

"I think it's perfect," he said, slipping the watch onto his wrist.

She smiled, cupping his cheek as she kissed him.

He grinned as she pulled away slowly, "Thank you, Liv."

"For what, baby?" she asked softly, smoothing her hand over his hair.

"For making this the best Christmas I've ever had," he answered, smiling as he pressed his lips against hers.

Their arms wrapped around each other as they kissed passionately. They made love twice before they went to Captain Cragen's for Christmas dinner.

Cragen's heart warmed as he looked at the scene in front of him. His four best detectives were there, along with Casey Novak. He grinned when he saw Elliot and Olivia. She was sitting on the couch, and he was sitting on the floor between her legs, his jean-covered knees brought up to his chest. His new watch glinted in the light. There were warm smiles in their faces as she ran her hands through his hair subconsciously. She was talking to Casey, who was sitting on the couch next to her.

She leaned over, and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. He smiled, looking up at her, letting his lips meet hers in a quick, gentle kiss.

Casey smiled, "God, you two are too cute."

Elliot's smile grew wider upon hearing this, and he leaned back farther against Olivia, "Thanks," he murmured.

She chuckled, pressing one more kiss to his forehead before she sat back.

"Well, I should get going," Casey said, standing, "Thanks, captain. See you guys later. Merry Christmas."

After saying their goodbyes, Elliot plopped down next to Olivia, and pulled her close as they talked to the guys.

He looked down at her, and noticed how tired she looked. "Liv?" he asked softly, "You ready?"

She nodded her head, and he rubbed her back gently, kissing her temple gently before they both stood.

"We're gonna take off," he announced, grabbing her jacket and helping her slip into it.

"I'll see you two tomorrow," the captain said, standing as well.

"Yeah," the detective answered, shaking the captain's hand before they walked out.

They went home, and just cuddled for the rest of the evening.

* * *

A/N: Thank all you guys for reading. Please review and let me know what you think!


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Elliot talks to the captain about something very important, and Elliot and Olivia have an unforgettable Valentine's Day. But how unforgettable?

* * *

Elliot's hand was shaking slightly as he knocked on the doorframe of the captain's office. Cragen looked up from the work on his desk, and smiled softly, "Hey, Elliot. Come on in."

He took a deep breath, calming himself as best he could. God, he hadn't been this nervous in a long time. He was happy, extremely happy, but nervous.

"You okay?" the captain asked as Elliot walked in and took a seat, "You're awful pale."

He nodded his head, rubbing his hands together as he chewed ferociously on his gum. Cragen put down his pen, and folded his hands on the desk, giving the younger man his full attention, "Then what's up?"

Olivia's face, her voice, leaked into his mind, and his hesitance drained away. He smiled, and cleared his throat, reaching into his pocket. When his hand came back out, there was a little black box in it.

Cragen's eyes widened when he saw what was inside, "Elliot… is this what I think it is?"

"Yeah," Elliot answered, "I'm going to ask her to marry me. But… I wanted to tell you first. I mean, since…"

"That's great, Elliot," the captain said, smiling as he pat him on the shoulder, "You two are great together. I know how happy she makes you."

Elliot nodded his head, "Yeah. But what about…"

Cragen shook his head, knowing what the detective was going to say, "It's okay, Elliot. I'm not losing my best team. I'll talk to the Chief of D's. He owes me a favor."

Elliot grinned, and nodded, slipping the ring back into his pocket, "Thanks. I, um… I actually wanted to ask you something else…"

"El, where are we going?" Olivia asked. They were in his car, driving to an unknown location. Well, unknown for her, anyway.

He smiled, "Valentine's Day surprise."

She shook her head slightly, "You know I hate surprises."

He chuckled, "Don't worry. You'll like this, I promise."

Olivia sighed, and looked out the window. He was as stubborn as she was. Elliot pulled into his restaurant of choice, and he got out, walking around the car and opening the door for her. She smiled warmly at him, and slipped her hand into his. Their hands fit perfectly together, he realized for the first time. He squeezed hers gently, not believing what he was about to do. Nervous was an understatement.

"I love you," he told her just before they walked inside.

"I love you, too," she answered, smiling up at him.

He stilled his shaking hands as they reached their tables. He pulled out the chair for her, and she smiled at his gentlemanliness. He sat himself, feeling the ring box against his thigh.

The ordered, got their drinks, and Elliot scooted his hand across the table to grasp hers. She smiled, and squeezed it, giving him a loving look. He got butterflies in his stomach at this look. He grinned happily, temporarily forgetting about his nervousness. She calmed him down without ever realizing it.

They ate, and talked and laughed as usual. He paid, and she got up, ready to leave, but he pulled her back down.

"Stay here," he said softly, and stood. He wiped his forehead as he walked, which had formed a this layer of nervous sweat.

He couldn't believe what he was about to do. He was probably going to get laughed out of the building. But somehow… he didn't care. He was going to do this for her. He knew that she would love it. Hopefully.

He walked up onto the stage in the front of the room, and saw Olivia's eyes popping out of her skull in surprise. He took the microphone from the stand, and held it to his face, keeping his eyes on hers as the music started.

_Just one more moment,  
That's all that's needed,  
Like wounded soldiers,  
In need of healing  
Time to be honest  
This time I'm pleading  
Please don't dwell on it  
'Cause I didn't mean it_

I can't believe I said  
I'd lay our love on the ground,  
But it doesn't matter 'cause  
I made it up forgive me now  
Everyday I spend away  
My souls inside out  
Gotta be some way  
That I can make it up  
To you now, somehow

By now you know that,  
I'd come for you,  
No one but you,  
Yes I'd come for you,  
But only if you told me to,  
And I'd fight for you,  
I'd lie its true,  
Give my life for you,  
You know I'd always come for you

Olivia's hand immediately flew to her mouth when she recognized the song. It was the one that he had sung to her late at night, only after they made love, the one that he used to remind her of how much he loved her. The one that she loved hearing him sing.

_I was blindfolded  
But now I'm seeing  
My mind was closing  
Now I'm believing  
I finally know just what it means to let someone in  
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will  
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone  
I'd search forever just to bring you home  
Here and now, this I vow_

The man in the back smiled as he heard Elliot's voice. His son's voice. He had never heard Elliot sing… but it was beautiful. Especially when he was singing to the woman that he loved.

_By now you know that,  
I'd come for you,  
No one but you,  
Yes I'd come for you,  
But only if you told me to,  
And I'd fight for you,  
I'd lie its true,  
Give my life for you,  
You know I'd always come for you,  
You know I'd always come for you  
_

He wasn't nervous anymore. All of the uncertainty had disappeared after the first two lines. He didn't take his eyes off of Olivia's… just like when he sung to her in the confines of their apartment.

_No matter what gets in my way,  
As long as there's still life in me,  
No matter what remember you know I'd always come for  
you_

Yes I'd come for you,  
No one but you,  
Yes I'd come for you,  
But only if you told me to,  
And I'd fight for you,  
I'd lie its true,  
Give my life for you,  
You know I'd always come for you,

Tears formed in Olivia's eyes as she watched this. He had never done this. He had never sang in front of a crowd before, he always said that he would only sing for her. But she was so happy that he was doing this.

_No matter what gets in my way,  
As long as there's still life in me,  
No matter what remember you know I'd always come for  
you,  
I'd crawl across this world for you,  
Do anything you want me to,  
No matter what remember you know I'd always come for  
you,  
You know id always come for you._

The music faded away, replaced with the applause from the crowd. Tears fell from Olivia's eyes. Captain Cragen sniffled as he clapped, more proud and happy for Elliot than he had ever been. Elliot wiped his own tears away as he stepped off the stage. He had eyes and ears for only Olivia as he made his way back to their table.

"El…" she whispered as he reached her, "That was… so beautiful. I-I can't…"

He placed a finger against her lips, silencing her as he stood her up, "Shh…"

Elliot took a deep breath, and took her hands in his, "Liv, I can't find the words to describe how I feel for you. That song… it's perfect, and it's so true. When I met you… I didn't believe that I could ever be happy again. I was blind. You opened my eyes, you allowed me to love again. And I can't thank you enough for that. You mean everything to me," he dropped to one knee, "I love you more than anything and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. Will you marry me?"

Her breath caught in her chest when she saw the beautiful ring in his hands. It was a diamond, with a sapphire and an emerald on either side. More tears streamed down her face, and she pulled him up off his knee, pressing her lips against his. She cupped his face in her hands as they broke apart.

She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that this was happening. It must have been a dream, because this was way too perfect to actually happen to her. But the look in his eyes made her realize that this was really happening. It was true.

"Yes," she whispered.

He grinned hugely, and slipped the ring onto her finger. There was another applause as they kissed again.

Elliot's heart was fluttering in his chest. She had said yes. She really wanted to marry him… spend the rest of her life with him. Tears formed in his eyes, tears of joy, instead of sadness. He happy to a point that he didn't know existed. And it was all because of her.

"You just made me the happiest man in the world, Liv," he whispered, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"That's good," she answered, wiping his tears away, "Because you made me the happiest woman in the world."

Cragen walked over to them, "Congratulations, you two."

"Thanks, Don," Elliot said, and Cragen hugged him tightly, "I'm proud of you, son."

He grinned, and moved to pull Olivia into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, "It's all thanks to this one."

She smiled, "Don't give me all the credit, El."

He shrugged, "You deserve it."

"I should get going," Cragen said, "You two enjoy the rest of your evening. Take tomorrow off, too."

"Thanks, cap'n," Olivia answered.

He shrugged, smiling, "Think of it as an engagement present. See you on Thursday."

And then he was gone.

Elliot smiled, kissing the skin behind her ear, "So, what do you say we get outta here?"

"I think that sounds great," she answered, taking his hand in hers.

Olivia closed the door of the apartment, and suddenly, Elliot was kissing her. It was desperate, but gentle, needy but slow. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she backed up until she felt the wall behind her. She pulled him against her as her hands stroked his short hair.

She unbuttoned his shirt, and brushed it off of his shoulders. He had pulled off her shirt before he came to his senses.

"Wait," he whispered. He wanted this to be special. They had just gotten engaged… he would not take her up against a wall. She deserved better.

"El…?" she asked breathlessly.

He lifted her up bridal style, surprising her, and carried her into the bedroom. He layed her down on the bed and settled between her legs before he kissed her again. Both of her hands went to cup his cheeks.

"I love you," he whispered, moving his lips to press gentle kisses over her neck, shoulders, anywhere he could reach.

They made love passionately over and over until they were too exhausted to move, and they could just lay there. He held her close, and they pressed comforting kisses to each other's lips.

"I love you," Elliot murmured, "My fiancée."

Her heart swelled when she heard that. His fiancée…. God, that sounded amazing. "I love you, too."

He gave her a tired smile, and yawned. She chuckled, wrapping the blanket tighter around them both, "We should probably be sleeping."

"Probably," he answered, snuggling further into her as he let his eyes drift shut.

"Night, Eli," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"Night, Livia," he replied, already halfway to dreamland.

She buried her face in his chest, and fell asleep easily.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's a new chapter for you :)

* * *

Elliot and Olivia walked into the bullpen, a happy glow surrounding them both. It had been there since two nights ago when he proposed, and she said yes. Neither of them knew that being as happy as they were, was possible.

"Wow. You two are, like, _glowing_," Munch said.

"Someone had fun last night," Fin announced.

Elliot chuckled, and took Olivia's hand, raising it to show them the ring.

"Whoa," Fin said, "You two, tyin' the knot?"

Olivia leaned slightly into Elliot, and nodded her head, "Yeah. We are."

Elliot's heart fluttered. God, he still couldn't believe it. He really was marrying this beautiful angel standing next to him. _His_ angel_. _

"Congratulations," John said, "I hope it turns out better than my marriages."

The three other detectives laughed, and Fin answered, "I don' think that it could turn out any worse, man."

"What's so funny?" Cragen asked as he walked into the bullpen from his office.

"Nothin'," Fin answered, "El and Liv are…"

"I know," the captain interrupted, and winked at Elliot and Olivia, "I was there. Now get back to work, that paperwork won't fill out itself."

Elliot brought Olivia's hand to his lips, and kissed the back of it gently before he dropped it. Olivia gave him a loving smile, and they both sat down at their desks, getting to work.

"Liv?" Elliot called as he walked into their apartment, "Baby, you here?"

She had left work early, saying that she hadn't been feeling good. He had wanted to take her home, but she convinced him to stay and get his work done.

All of the lights were off in the apartment. He flipped on the switch for the living room, which was empty.

He dropped his coat onto the arm of the couch, and walked into the bedroom, where Olivia was curled up under the blankets. He smiled lovingly at her, and slipped off his shoes and his tie before he lowered himself onto the mattress next to her.

She turned towards him, and smiled softly, "Hey."

"Hey," he answered, brushing his hand over her forehead, "How're you feeling?"

She buried her face into his chest, moaning softly in response. He frowned slightly, "You're warm."

"This is déjà vu," she murmured into his shirt, "Remember…?"

Elliot chuckled, rubbing her back lightly, "Yeah, baby. I remember. You took good care of me. Now I'm going to do the same thing for you."

"Love you, Eli…" she whispered, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, "I love you, too, 'Livia."

She closed her eyes, and within minutes, she was asleep. He just held her for a while, feeling her hot skin against him… poor Liv.

He slowly released her from his embrace, and got up slowly. He pulled off his work clothes, and changed into a more comfortable pair of sweatpants before he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and a bottle of Aspirin.

He yawned, and ran his hand through his hair as he walked back into the bedroom. Placing the items on the nightstand, he laid back down next to her. She cuddled into him in her sleep, and he smiled, pulling her closer to him.

Her eyes opened slowly, and he kissed her nose gently, "Good morning."

"Mmm… more like good afternoon," she replied.

His smile grew wider, and he sat up, gently pulling her against his chest so he could give her the pills from the table, "Here. These will make you feel better."

She swallowed the small capsules, and he held the water to her lips to drink. When she was finished, he set the glass back on the nightstand, and tightened his arms around her, pressing gentle kisses to her temple.

"You're comfy…" she murmured, snuggling into his warm chest.

Elliot chuckled lightly, "Thanks, I guess."

"Mmm…"

"I love you," he whispered, kissing her temple gently, "Get some rest, okay?"

"'Kay. Love you, too, Eli," she said softly.

Her eyes fluttered closed, and she fell back asleep easily. He closed his eyes himself, and drifted off into oblivion with her.

When he woke up, she was still sleeping peacefully. It was early morning now… sunlight was starting to peak through the windows.

He reached over to grab his cell phone off of the nightstand, and dialed the captain's number.

"_Captain Cragen, SVU,"_ he heard the older man's voice say over the phone.

"Hey, cap," Elliot greeted softly as to not wake Olivia.

"_Hey, Elliot. What's up?" _

"Calling to let you know that Liv's still sick, and I was wondering if I could…"

"_Stay home with her?"_ the captain finished, _"Sure. It's not a problem. Take good care her, okay?"_

"Yeah," Elliot said, chuckling softly at the captain's uncanny ability to read his mind, "I will. Thanks."

He hung up the phone, and put it back down next to him so he could wrap his arms back around Olivia. He didn't know how long it was before she woke up… all's he knew was that he loved holding her. She stirred, and her eyes opened, "El…?"

"Hey," he greeted softly, "How're you feeling?"

"Better with you here," she murmured, snuggling further into him, "Work…?"

"I called us both in," he answered, kissing her forehead lightly.

"I'm gonna get you sick…" she told him.

He shrugged, smiling slightly, "Taking care of you is worth it."

She smiled back, and opened her mouth to say something else, but a sneeze came out instead. Elliot chuckled at how adorable she was, and grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand, handing it to her.

"Thanks," she said softly, wiping her nose.

"You're welcome," he answered, smoothing his hand over her tummy.

She half-sighed, half moaned, curling up into him, "Feel terrible…"

He kissed the crown of her head, and got up slowly, "I'll be right back, okay?"

He returned a minute later, with a cool, wet cloth in his hands. He moved to sit behind her again, and pressed the material to her warm forehead.

"How does that feel?" he asked quietly.

"Good…" she murmured, resting her head against his chest.

"Good," he said, pressing another kiss to her head, "What do you say, you want to put on a movie?"

"Okay," she whispered, turning on her side so she could wrap her arm around his waist. He grabbed the clicker, and pressed the on button. He turned it on one of the movie stations, and dropped the remote so he could wrap his arm back around Olivia.

He sat there with her all day, holding the cool cloth to her forehead, cuddling and watching TV. Elliot made her some soup and fed it to her. She was asleep by seven o'clock. He reached over to put the bowl of half-eaten soup on the nightstand, and turned the lamp off, leaning against the pillow, and closing his eyes.

He fell asleep quickly. When she woke up the next morning, her fever was gone, and they were both back in work.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the shortness... I've been super busy lately. I promise, the next one will be longer. Things have been a little too calm for Elliot and Olivia... I sense some troubled waters up ahead...


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's the next chapter of Shattered, as promised. Please review, hoping to get some more feedback :) Elliot and Olivia plan a little bit of their wedding, and Elliot takes Olivia somewhere special.

* * *

"So, I was thinking we could do navy blue," Olivia said, "And silver."

Both she and Elliot were sitting on the couch in the living room, eating Chinese takeout and trying to plan the wedding.

He shrugged, bringing a piece of chicken to his mouth with his chopsticks, "Whatever you want, Liv."

She smiled, and brought her hand to his chest, "I love blue on you. It brings out your eyes."

"That's perfect," he answered, pressing a kiss to her nose.

She laughed softly, and brought a piece of eggroll to her mouth, "We just made the first decision for our wedding."

Elliot grinned, his heart warming at the thought. Their wedding… that sounded incredible. He laid his forehead against hers, "Yeah. We did." He pressed a kiss to her lips, "How about another one?"

"I think I want to have it in September. When it's warm, but not too warm."

"That sounds good to me," Elliot answered.

"What about you?" Olivia asked, "What do you want?"

He took her hand, and smiled softly at her, "I want what you want, Livia. As long as your happy, so am I."

She smiled back, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek, "That's sweet, El."

He shrugged, leaning into her touch, "That's how I feel, Liv. Your dream wedding is mine."

She kissed him deeply, amazed by him, and amazed that she had found such an incredible man. Her life was officially perfect, and all's it took was volunteering to SVU.

He returned the kiss more than willingly, running his fingertips down her side. "I think we should take a break," she murmured, releasing the buttons on his shirt slowly.

"I think that's a great idea," he answered, and stood her up, guiding her into the bedroom.

Elliot lay awake, watching Olivia sleep peacefully. He brought her left hand up to his face, and smiled at the ring on her finger. _His_ ring. She was wearing his ring, she was marrying him… It had been almost a month, and he still couldn't believe it. He still thought that his happiness was a dream. But he knew that it wasn't… this warmth all over him was too real for it not to be true.

Her eyes opened slowly, and his heart melted at her chocolate orbs, just like it always did. She smiled softly at him, "Hi."

"Hey," he answered, returning the smile as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She moved her hand to rub the back of his arm gently, "I can definitely do this."

"Do what?" he asked softly, moving his hand to her bare back.

"Wake up next to you every morning," she answered, "For the rest of my life."

Elliot chuckled, pulling her closer to him, "Me, too, Livia. Me too."

His hand went to the heart around her neck, and he recited the word engraved into it, "Forever. It's really happening, isn't it?"

The smile on her face grew even bigger, "Yeah, baby. It's really happening."

He brought his hand up to touch her cheek, "You're an angel," he whispered.

"El… I'm not…"

He nodded his head, "Yes, you are. You're my angel, Liv, I told you, remember? I don't know how I lived without you."

She shrugged, smiling slightly at him, "You're strong. I just helped."

"You did much more than help, Liv," he answered, "Much more."

Elliot stopped the car, and got out. The gravel made a crunching sound under his loafers as he walked. He sighed as he stopped in front of his oldest daughter's grave stone.

"Hey, Mo," he greeted softly, staring intently at the letters on the stone, "I miss you."

He took a rose out of his pocket, and placed it in front of the stone, just as he always did when he came here, and then stepped back. He could almost hear her voice, _"I love you, Daddy."_

"I love you, too," he whispered, shoving his hand back into his pocket.

He stood silently for a few minutes, just thinking, remembering… a tiny smile crossed his lips as he thought about all the good times that he had with his family.

"I'm getting married," he said ever so softly, "I still can't believe it. You would've loved Olivia. She's… incredible," he sniffled, "And she's mine."

God, it felt so good to be saying that. She was his. She was going to promise him that she was his, and she would be with him for the rest of their lives… he really couldn't live without her. And he wouldn't have to. He would never have to be without her again.

He traced his fingertips over the letters on the stone, wondering silently what Maureen would say if she was here. He wondered if she would be happy for him… he wondered what Kathy would say. Would she be angry with him?

No. She wouldn't. They would all be happy for him. They would be happy that he moved on, they would be happy that he was able to find someone that made him happy again, that completed him. Somehow, he knew that. He wasn't sure how he knew it, but he did.

Sighing, he stood up, and moved on to his younger daughter's grave.

A picture of her burst into his mind, and he felt a tiny tear form in the corner of his eye. He wiped it away, and sighed, "I miss you, too, Kat." He sniffled again, "So much."

He leaned down, and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the stone before he moved on to the next grave. Kathy's. He stood there, silently for a minute, and then he was walking back to his car.

When he walked into the apartment, he saw Olivia sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on the TV. She looked up at him, and smiled softly, "Hey."

She knew where he had gone. She always knew when he went there. He smiled back at her, "Hi."

She turned the TV off, and pat the spot next to her on the couch, "C'mere," she said gently.

Elliot did as she requested, sitting next to her. She brought her hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He allowed himself to be pulled into her embrace, scooting closer to her. He always loved being in her arms…

"I love you," she told him, pressing a kiss to his head.

"I love you, too," he answered, moving one of his hands to grasp hers.

She smiled softly, and linked their fingers together.

He brought her hand to his lips, and kissed each of her knuckles, stopping to look at the ring. Her heart melted when he pressed the back of her hand to his chest, the ring directly over his heart, and looked at her with his big, baby blue eyes, filled with love. _I love you. I need you_. She could hear his words echo through her mind. That is what the gesture had meant.

"Eli…" she whispered, touching his face with her free hand.

He smiled softly at her, and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to her lips, "Can we just cuddle all night?" he asked softly.

She couldn't say no to him. He was just too damn adorable. She pulled him closer, "That sounds amazing."

"Good," he whispered, tightening his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her easily, walking her into the bedroom.

She laughed softly when he dropped her onto the bed, and collapsed next to her. She rolled onto her side, looking lovingly at him. He smiled softly at her as she ran her thumb lightly over his cheek.

"You're okay?" she asked softly.

He nodded his head, "Yeah. I'm fine," he answered, snuggling closer to her, "You made me feel better."

"You should let me come with you when you go there," she suggested, wrapping her arms around him.

Elliot shrugged, "I dunno…"

It seemed strange; her going with her to visit his late wife's grave… like his old life and his new life coming together. He loved Olivia, very much, and she couldn't live without her, but there was a small part of him that still loved Kathy, and that he thought always would. And, of course, his children. He loved them with everything he had. He still thought about them at least once every day.

Olivia wasn't offended by his hesitance… it was a very private, very emotional thing when he went there. Maybe she should just stay out of it… but she wanted to be there for him, she wanted to make sure that he knew that she would support him in everything. She knew that he still loved Kathy, and it was totally okay with her. She knew that he loved her just as much, she wasn't just a replacement.

"It's okay, Eli," she whispered, "I don't have to, I just want to be there for you."

His arms tightened around her, "Maybe… maybe next time. If… if you want to."

"Do you want me to?" she asked ever so softly, wanting to make sure that he was really okay with it.

He nodded, "Yeah. I think… it's a good idea."

She smiled, and kissed him softly, "I'm glad."

He smiled back at her, and pulled the blanket over them both. She snuggled into his warm chest, and they just laid there, holding each other for hours until they both drifted off to sleep.

The next day, they both got out of work early. Figuring that this was the perfect opportunity, Elliot took a left out of the precinct parking lot, instead of the right that would lead them home. Olivia looked at him, puzzled, "El…?"

He glanced at her, giving her a silent message, which she understood immediately. She took his free hand in hers, and was silent until they reached the cemetery. He opened the door for her, and she laced their fingers together once more as they walked along the gravel path.

Elliot lowered his head as they reached the first grave, saying a silent prayer. Olivia didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin this moment. Instead, she read the words on the stone.

_Maureen Elizabeth Stabler_

_Loving daughter and friend_

He moved on a second later, and she followed, to what she knew as his youngest daughter's grave. He sniffled, suddenly getting choked up. She knew what was happening, and moved her hand to rub his back gently, stepping closer to him. Comforting him without words. It was exactly what he wanted. What he needed.

They stood in that spot for one more second before he moved on for the second time. Kathy's grave. He stepped away from this one quicker from the others, obviously uncomfortable with the situation, his late wife and the woman that he was marrying together. Or, well, as together as they could be.

Olivia took his arm, gently pulling him back to the spot in front of the grave.

"It's okay, El," she whispered.

He swallowed, and nodded slowly, turning back to look at the grave. He paid his respects, and then they were on their way. This time, Olivia opened the door for him, and he smiled gratefully at her as he got in.

He leaned his head back against the seat, and closed his eyes, calming himself down. He felt her hand squeeze his knee gently, and opened his eyes to look at her.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he answered in the same tone, "I'm fine."

She leaned over to press a soft kiss to his lips, "Thank you, Eli. For bringing me here. I know how hard it must be."

He shook his head, "No, Liv. You didn't make it harder," he whispered, squeezing her hand gently, "You made it easier."

It was true. He was glad that she had asked him to bring her… she had done things for him that she didn't even realize. Comforted him without even trying. He was happy for that. He was happy that she was so understanding, that she hadn't asked him anything, just been there with him. But then again, that was one of the reasons why he loved her so much.

She was always there for him, no matter what. And he had promised himself that he would return the favor. No matter what happened, they would always be there for each other.

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A/N: Awww... they're so cute together :) Lol. Thanks for reading, and like I said at the top, I' m hoping to get a few more reviews. Look for the next chapter on Wednesday... along with a new episode of SVU. I'm excited :)


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Hey, guys. So, who saw SVU tonight? OMG, it was EPIC, lol :) Every time Dana shows up, Elliot gets hurt somehow. Poor El :( It's pretty funny, though. Anyway, after my little rant, here's the next chapter of Shattered. Olivia takes Casey dress shopping, Elliot and Olivia have a romantic evening, and Elliot and John talk :)

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"I want something simple," Olivia told Casey as they walked down the street, dress shopping, "Nothing to frilly or obnoxious or anything."

"Okay, okay," Casey answered, "Come on, let's check out this place."

Olivia followed her into one of the shops, and they dove in. Casey showed her about fifteen dresses, and she hated all of them. Most of them were way too frilly and the rest left very little to the imagination. God, was it so hard to find a nice dress? She finally just walked away from Casey, who still looking at dresses. She walked into the back of the store, and flipped through more dresses, but to no avail. None of them were good enough.

After finding nothing in that shop, they moved onto the next one. Then the next one, and then the one after that. They all had similar results. Nothing. Olivia was starting to give up hope when they walked into the last one. She would never find the perfect dress, she would be stuck wearing one that she hated…

"We'll find one, Liv," Casey reassured, "Don't worry. We're going to find the perfect dress. You're going to love it, and Elliot's gonna cry when he sees you in it."

"I hope so," she mumbled, and walked to the back of the store, starting to flip through more gowns.

Her breathing caught in her chest when she reached the one at the end of the rack. It was so… beautiful. The dress was simple, but elegant. It had thin spaghetti straps, and went straight down. She took it off of the rack just as Casey walked over to her, "Hey, where'd you go? I was…"

"I want to try this one on," Olivia interrupted, showing her the dress. She didn't wait to hear Casey's response… she walked into the dressing room to try on the dress.

She walked out slowly a minute later, biting her lip, "How does it look."

Casey's jaw dropped, "Wow."

"Wow what?" she asked nervously as the A.D.A circled her, looking at her from all angles.

"Liv, you look incredible in that dress," she said.

It was true. The dress was a perfect fit, it hugged her curves beautifully, and flowed down to the ground gracefully.

"I think that dress was made for you. Elliot's gonna die when he sees you in this."

Olivia smiled, "Really?"

"Would I lie about something this serious?" Casey asked, "Come on, take it off so we can buy it!"

She laughed softly, "Okay, okay, I'm going."

Olivia walked into the apartment a half an hour later, happy with the results of her shopping trip. She walked into the living room, and dropped her coat onto the arm of the couch.

"El?" she called, looking around for her fiancé.

Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her waist, and his voice whispered in her ear, "You called?"

She turned to him, and smiled, "Yeah. Where were you?"

He grinned back, "No where. How'd dress shopping go?"

"Great," she answered, letting her forehead drop against his, "I found the perfect one."

"Good," he said, "Did you take pictures?"

"Mmm hmm," she replied, feeling his hands smooth over her back gently.

"Can I see?"

"No," she said, "You know the rule. You have to wait until the wedding."

He sighed, "Okay. Come on."

He pulled her down the hall to the bathroom, and she gasped softly. The light was off, but more candles than she had ever seen light up the room. The tub was filled with bubbles, "El…"

"For you," he whispered, tugging lightly on the bottom of her shirt, "And me."

She raised her arms, letting him pull the shirt off as he continued, "How does that sound?"

"Mmm," she answered, tugging off his shirt and letting it fall to the floor, "Incredible."

They stripped the rest of their clothes, and he lowered himself into the tub, pulling her on top of him. She sighed as the warm water hit her skin, and leaned back into his chest, "I love you so much, Eli…"

"I love you, too, Livia," he answered, tracing his fingers over her tummy, "I can't wait to get you up on that alter."

She laughed softly, "Me neither… I can't wait to be Mrs. Stabler."

His heart fluttered in his chest… Mrs. Stabler. That sounded incredible. He had never been this happy in his life. Everything was perfect, and wonderful, and the woman of his dreams was sitting in his arms.

They sat in the tub until the water was cold, and then they dried each other off, got into bed, and made love until the wee hours of the morning.

But they were both exhausted at work that morning.

"You two look dead," John laughed, looking at the couple from his desk, "What the hell did you do last night?"

"Do you really want us to answer that question?" Elliot asked, glancing at the older detective.

He looked like he was thinking for a second, and then he shook his head, "On the second thought, you're right. I don't want to know."

"You better not," Olivia answered, looking up from her paperwork.

Elliot laughed, "Don't worry, babe," he replied, "I wouldn't tell him anyway."

She shot him a look, and he blew her a kiss before returning to his work. Cragen let them go early, obviously sensing how tired they were.

"What do you say?" Elliot asked softly as she slipped her hand into his, "Go home, order in. Watch a movie?"

"As long as there's cuddling involved," she answered as they walked onto the elevator.

Elliot chuckled, pulling her close, "What do you think?"

"I think we should hurry up and get home," she said, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

The doors slid open, and they released each other, walking out of the precinct. Just like always, he opened the car door for her, and kissed her gently before she got in. He closed the door, and walked around the car to get in himself.

The ride was filled with the sounds of the radio, nothing else. Olivia ran her thumb over the back of Elliot's hand, looking intently at it.

"You okay?" he asked softly, glancing at her.

She looked up at him, and smiled softly, though he was focused on the road again, "Yeah. Perfect."

"Good," he answered, squeezing her hand gently.

When they got home, he ordered a pizza for them, put on a movie, and they cuddled. Elliot put away the leftovers, and collapsed back on the couch with her. He moved his hand to take hers, and held it up. Her ring sparkled in the light.

"Two more weeks," he murmured, running his thumb over the band.

"Two weeks," she repeated happily.

"I can't wait," he whispered as he nuzzled her nose, "I've already told you that…"

She laughed softly, "I know… but it's okay. Me neither."

Her lips met his in a kiss. It was gentle and loving, reminding them of how much they meant to each other, how much they loved each other. When their lips fell apart, she just looked at him, loving the smile that was gracing his lips. She snuggled further into his warm chest, and his arms tightened around her.

He never got tired of this… holding her in his arms, inhaling her soft scent… vanilla. After only a few minutes, he heard her even breathing, signaling that she was asleep. He lifted her gently bridal style, carrying her into the bedroom. He pulled back the blankets, and laid her down softly.

"El?" she whispered, her voice laced with sleep as he lowered himself down next to her.

"Shh," he whispered, "It's okay. Go back to sleep."

She snuggled into him, her arm wrapping around his waist, "Love you, Eli."

"Love you, too, Livia," he answered, wrapping the blanket tightly around them both.

They fell asleep together.

"Just don't let this end like me and one of my many ex-wives," John told Elliot as they walked on the sidewalk, towards the local tux shop.

Elliot rolled his eyes, shoving him lightly, "That's never gonna happen, Munch."

John laughed, "Are you sure."

"Jesus, I should've brought Fin," he said good-naturedly, "He wouldn't have driven me crazy with stories of his ex-wives."

"Are you sure?" John asked cryptically, and Elliot rolled his eyes, "Yes, I'm pretty fucking sure, John."

The older detective chuckled at his response… god, he loved annoying him.

They were silent for a few minutes, just walking, and then John spoke again, "You must be getting excited, anyway."

A warm smile crossed Elliot's lips, and he nodded, "Yeah. I am," he sighed happily, "I never knew I could love someone this much. You know? God, when I'm with her, I feel like… shit, I can't even describe it. It feels incredible, though."

Munch chuckled lightly at the love struck detective, shaking his head. He had never experienced true love, but he knew that what Elliot and Olivia had was exactly that. He remembered the days after the car accident, he remembered how angry and sad Elliot was, but now look at him. He was a completely different man.

"If you're this happy before the wedding, I can't imagine how happy you'll be after it."

Elliot shook his head, the smile never leaving his face, "Trust me, John, I don't think it's possible to be any happier than I am right now."

He was wrong.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. Next up, a WEDDING :) Please Review :)


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Hey guys. Decided that i would update a day early :) Lol. Anyway, here's Chapter 21 of Shattered. A wedding, and Cragen gives them an awesome gift ;)

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Elliot sat in one of the rooms of the church, tapping his foot… waiting. It was the day that he'd been waiting for over five months… his wedding day… and he was more nervous than he had ever been in his life. He shook his head, licked his dry lips, and stilled his shaking hands.

"Relax, man," Fin said, patting him on the shoulder, "You're shakin' like crazy."

"Yeah, El," John added, "It's just you and Olivia. No one else matters."

He was right. Just him and Olivia. They were here, they were getting married, and no one and nothing else mattered now. They were really doing this. "Thanks, guys."

The door opened slowly, and Cragen stepped inside, "Guys. It's time."

Munch and Fin walked out first, and the captain pat Elliot's shoulder, "Good luck, son."

The detective grinned, "Thanks, Don. For everything."

Don's smile grew wider, "Get out there, Elliot."

When he walked out into the main hall, he was greeted with half of the NYPD. He walked down the aisle, taking his place next to Munch and Fin.

The wedding march proceeded, and everyone stood. His breathing caught in his chest. He swore that his heart stopped. She was the most beautiful person that he had ever seen. She truly was his angel. He felt her hand slide into his, and she reached up to gently wipe away the tear that had made its way down his cheek.

The ceremony went on… but neither of them heard what the priest was saying. They were to busy getting lost on each other's eyes, trying to believe that this was really happening, and it wasn't just an incredible dream. Then the vows came.

Elliot took a deep breath, "Liv… when you met me, I was at a very dark place in my life. I smoked, I drank, did anything to get rid of the pain, but nothing helped. I know that things were pretty bad between us at first… but that's how I wanted it to be. I was so afraid of getting hurt again, and it was easier to just not let anyone in. Everything changed when you found out. You cared. We'd been terrible to each other, I'd been a jerk, treated you like crap, but you still cared. It was the first time that someone did that for me," he took a breath, and continued, "You were so good to me, I couldn't keep being a jerk. Slowly, you fixed me, Liv. You made my life worth living again.

"When I'm with you, I can't help but be happy. Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again. I was afraid to love before. I was terrified to let anyone in," his voice dropped to a whisper, "But I'm not afraid anymore. I love you, Olivia Benson. I love you with everything I have, and even with everything I don't. I want to be your lover, your companion, and most importantly, your best friend, for the rest of my life. Everything I have is yours."

There were tears in both of their eyes, and they were too lost in each other to realize that everyone else was crying, too. Olivia was amazed by his beautiful words. She reached up slowly, and wiped the wetness away from his face.

"El… that was beautiful. You're right. When I met you, I thought that you were just another New York cop. When Cragen told me what happened, what you had to live through, it broke my heart. I felt so bad for treating you the way I did, like just another jerk. But you were different. You were always different, you'll always be different. I made you a promise right then in there. I promised that no matter what, I would try to help you. And eventually, you let me. As you healed, I realized what a good man you are," she brought a hand to rest over his heart, "You have a heart of gold, El. You're like a needle in the haystack. I've never met anyone like you. You deserve nothing but the best, and I promise that I'll try my best to give it to you. I'll never know what kind of pain you went through, but I'll be here for you, by your side every day for the rest of our lives.

"You are the star of each night,  
You are the brightness of every morning,  
You are the story of each guest,  
You are the report of every land.  
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,  
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.  
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,  
Nor on shore, in skies above,  
Nor in the depths.  
You are the kernel of my heart,  
You are the face of my sun,  
You are the harp of my music,  
You are the crown of my company."

The Irish wedding blessing. His knees went weak, more tears fell from his eyes. He was amazed by her. He took her hand, and slipped the wedding band on her finger, "I, Elliot, give you, Olivia, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

She smiled softly at him, and took his own hand, pushing the other ring on his finger, "I, Olivia, give you, Elliot, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

"By the power vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Elliot smiled hugely through his tears, and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear before he covered her mouth with hers gently. There was a huge applause as everyone stood up. Elliot pulled away ever so slowly, and turned them towards the crowd, smiling and laughing softly. Neither of them could believe it. They were married. They had just gotten married, they were now husband and life.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Stabler."

"I can't believe you used the Irish blessing," Elliot said softly in her ear later that night as they danced.

She looked up at him, and smiled, "It was perfect. You're Irish, and everything that I said was true."

He pressed a short kiss to her lips, "You're incredible, Liv. I love you… I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she answered, pulling him closer to her.

Cragen walked up to them a little later, "Hey, you two. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Elliot answered, keeping his arm around Olivia, unable to step even an inch away from her. She nodded in agreement with his statement, leaning into him comfortably.

The captain smiled. They looked so right together. He was so happy for the couple that he considered his own children. "I have a wedding present for you."

Elliot took the envelope that Cragen had pulled out of his suit, "Thanks."

When he opened it, he was shocked. Inside were two round trip tickets to Hawaii, and a confirmation letter for a private bungalow in the Kona Village Resort.

"Wow," Olivia breathed, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"Don, this is incredible. You didn't have to do this," Elliot said.

"Only the best for my son and his wife," the captain answered, patting him on the shoulder, "You two deserve it. Have fun."

"Thank you," Olivia said.

"Thanks a lot," Elliot agreed, tightening his arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. Now get out of here, you two. Your flight leaves in a few hours. I'll take care of everything here," the captain said, gently pushing them towards the door, "See you in two weeks."

"We have an amazing captain," Olivia said. They were sitting in the back of the car that Cragen had also graciously rented, heading to the airport.

"No," Elliot answered, "We have an amazing father."

She smiled, and leaned into him, "This is incredible. We just got married; we're going to spend two weeks in a tropical paradise."

"I know," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her, nuzzling her nose.

He knew that the next two weeks would be amazing… but he also knew that the rest of their lives would be even better.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. Up next... a honeymoon :) Please review and tell me what you think.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's the next chapter of Shattered. Elliot and Olivia go on their honeymoon :)

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"Wow. This is incredible," Olivia said as the two newlyweds walked into their private bungalow.

Elliot grinned, dropping their bags on the floor next to the bed, and wrapped his arms around her waist. It was small, but comfortable. There was a door leading into the bathroom, which had a clear glass walk-in shower. A glass sliding door led out onto a balcony. The view was amazing. The ocean was only a few yards away. A beautiful getaway for husband and wife.

Olivia sighed as she felt Elliot nibbled gently at her ear, "So, Mrs. Stabler," he began huskily, "We're in a private bungalow in Hawaii. What would you like to do?"

"Well, Mr. Stabler," she answered, turning around as she took his left hand in hers, making his new wedding ring shine, "I was wondering how you looked in nothing but that wedding ring."

"That's good," he whispered, kissing her ever so softly, "Because I was wondering the same thing about you."

Without warning, he picked her up, and she laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his neck as she nestled into his arms as he carried her over to the bed. He layed her down, and covered her body with his. She cupped his face in both of her hands as he lowered his lips to meet hers in a passionate kiss.

Their clothing was shed slowly as they worshipped each other's bodies. They were fueled with a new fire… it was their first time as husband and wife. Their lovemaking was slow and passionate, gentle and loving. They went over the edge together, at the same time, clutching each other tightly and whispering each other's names like they were God.

Elliot stilled, and just looked down at her. She looped her arm around his neck, and gently pulled him down to lay on top of her. He layed there for a few minutes, and then rolled to the side, gently pulling her into his embrace. She snuggled into his chest, and let her eyes flutter closed.

"I love you, Mr. Stabler."

"I love you, too, Mr. Stabler," he murmured, tightening his arms around her, closing his eyes as well.

She sighed, "I love that."

His eyes cracked open, "What? Mrs. Stabler?"

Olivia nodded her head, and he grinned, "Get some rest, Mrs. Stabler. Tomorrow," he kissed her gently, "Is going to be a busy day."

She smiled, and snuggled deeper into him. They both fell asleep in each other's arms.

When Olivia opened her eyes, he was already awake, running a hand through her hair gently.

"Good morning," he whispered, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Yeah," she answered, "Very good morning."

It was amazing. They had left the balcony door open, and a warm breeze flowed through the bungalow. They could hear the birds chirping and the ocean crashing up on the shore. She stretched out on the bed, keeping her head resting in the crook of his arm, "I love this."

He smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead, "I know. Me too."

They laid in silence for a few minutes, just taking everything in. They were married. Their captain had paid for a wonderful honeymoon on the shore of Hawaii. Everything was too good to be true.

"So, what do you say?" he asked softly, "How bout a nice, hot shower?"

Olivia nodded, smiling at him, "I think that's a great idea."

So that's what they did. They took a long, hot shower together, had a quickie, got dressed, got undressed for another quickie, and pulled their bathing suits on to go down to the beach.

Olivia slipped her hand into his, and he smiled at her, pulling her closer. "I love you, Liv," he whispered.

"I love you, too, El," she answered, and pulled him down to the water, "Come on."

He followed her, and shivered slightly when they stepped in, "Cold."

She laughed, and flicked his arm, "Wimp."

"Oh, really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yup," she answered, and suddenly, she was up in his arms.

"El! What are you doing?" she asked, her arms tightening around his neck as he walked further into the ocean.

There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, and then she was below the water. She squealed as she came up, and he laughed hysterically, "Elliot!"

Her tone made him laugh harder. Oh, he was going to get it. Her arms wrapped around his waist, and then he was in the water as well. She turned so that she was on top of him, "Apologize."

He shook his head, still laughing, "Nope."

Olivia splashed water in his face, and he shook his head, making the water fly out of his hair. This time, she pushed his head under the water.

"Apologize," she repeated, and he nodded, "Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

"Good," she whispered, and slowly brought her lips to his.

"Liv," he murmured as they broke apart. His hand went down to her butt, and squeezed gently.

"El," she said softly, "Beach… public."

"Water," he answered, "Deserted."

She wasn't strong enough… she wanted him as much as he wanted her. She pressed his lips to his, and her hand ran down his chest and into his trunks. He moaned ever so softly as her hand wrapped around him gently.

"I love you," he whispered as his hand slipped into her bikini.

"Love you, too, El," she answered, pulling down his shorts just enough to reveal his hardness, "I need you now."

He nodded, pulling down her bottoms. Her hands went around his wait, guiding him to her.

When they walked back into the bungalow, they were exhausted. Elliot yawned hugely, and slipped his bathing suit off before he collapsed onto the bed. Olivia smiled tiredly, and looked at him in all of his naked glory. She stripped down to nothing, and layed down next to him. He smiled back, and gathered her in his arms.

She wrapped the blanket around them both, and pressed her face into his warm, muscular chest, letting her eyes flutter closed. She listened as his breathing slowed, and finally, he slept. She drifted off only a few minutes later.

They woke up at the same time that afternoon.

"Hey," he greeted softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hi," she answered, smiling softly at him.

She ran a hand through his hair, and he pressed gentle, butterfly kisses to her neck. "I love you," he murmured.

She smiled, her arms tightening around him, "I love you, too, El."

She still couldn't believe that he was hers. Officially hers. They were bound together by law… not that they weren't already bound together by their hearts. But now she was Mrs. Olivia Stabler. She sighed happily. That sounded so… right. So natural. Like it was always meant to be that way.

"Whatcha thinking about?" he asked softly, raising his head to look into her eyes.

"You," she answered, "What else?"

He grinned, kissing her lips gently, "You do wonders for my ego, Liv."

"Well, I can't help the truth," Olivia said softly, and returned the kiss.

Elliot grinned, and rolled on top of her. Before she had a chance to say or do anything, his lips were on hers. But she didn't mind. She loved kissing him, especially here, with the warm breeze and the sounds of nature around them.

They only left the bungalow twice after that. The rest of their meals were brought to them, and they just laid in bed, kissing, talking, and making love for hours and hours on end. Neither of them had such an amazing time in their lives.

"You know," Elliot began softly as she laid across his chest, "We're leaving in three days, and besides the beach on the second day, we've only been out of this bed to shower and get food."

She chuckled softly, resting her chin against him as she looked into his face, "I know. Is there something wrong with that?"

He shook his head, smiling at her, "No. Of course not. These two weeks have been… incredible. But I'm gonna take you out tomorrow."

She raised her eyebrows, and he continued, "It'll be fun."

"I know it will be," she answered, pecking his lips gently, "Everything we do together outside work is fun."

He grinned like a child on Christmas morning, and got up, slipping on the shorts that he had worn ten days ago, "I'll make some calls. You just relax."

She laughed softly at how adorable he was, and leaned back against the pillow, watching him walk out onto the lanai to make a phone call.

When he slipped back into bed a little while later, there was a big smile plastered across his face, "All done."

"Good," she answered, "What are we doing?"

He kissed her softly, "It's a surprise."

"Of course it is," Olivia said playfully.

He poked her tummy lightly under the blankets, "You know me. Everything has to be a surprise."

"Yeah. I know," she replied, kissing him again, "Guess I just thought you'd give me a break."

"Nope," he stated, and pulled her closer to him, "You know, we still have a while before we have to actually get up…"

It wasn't hard to find a way to pass the time.

The next day, they woke up late morning, and got dressed together. Elliot took her hand, and guided her down to the beach. Waiting for them was a beautifully carved boat, and a short, thin Hawaiian man standing next to it.

She looked up at him, and asked quietly, "For us?"

He grinned, and nodded, helping her onto the boat and taking a seat next to her. The man also got in, and began to row. They just talked, Elliot pointed out the many different tropical fish that he saw below the surface of the water, and the Hawaiian, who's name they had learned to be Inoa Po, told them what kind they were.

They ate lunch on the boat, sandwiches and Olivia's favorite type of red wine. When they got back to the shore, Olivia thought that it was over, was ready to take him back to the bungalow and thank him, but he had other ideas.

He brought her to the spa on the other side of the resort, and they both got massages and sat in the hot tub for a while. Next came dinner by the ocean, and finally, he brought her back.

"That was so much fun," she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him softly, "Thank you for planning all of that."

He shrugged, smiling at her, "Only the best for my wife."

She guided him back to the bed, and whispered, "And only the best for my husband."

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A/N: *Sigh* I loveed writing this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. And as some of you guys know, I' m now accepting story requests :) So if you have an idea, please PM it to me. I'd love to here them, and I will try my best to write it. don't be shy :)


	23. Chapter 23

A/n: Hey, guys. Here's the next chapter. Another milestone in Elliot and Olivia's relationship is coming...

* * *

When Elliot and Olivia walked off the plane into JFK, they were laughing together and holding hands. Cragen smiled when he saw them… they had to be the cutest couple that he had ever seen.

"Hey, you two," he greeted as he walked up to them.

"Hey," Elliot answered, shaking Cragen's hand with the one that wasn't holding Olivia's.

"You look like you had fun," the captain stated as they started walking.

They looked at each other, smiling, "We did."

Cragen smiled, shaking his head, "That's good. I'm glad."

He was filled with warmth… the warmth that he always felt when he was around them. They were so happy together… and they seemed to project their happiness onto those around him. He had never been happier for Elliot… he had finally found someone else to spend the rest of his life with.

The ride to the apartment was comfortable, spent talking about their vacation, and how the captain had almost gone crazy having to deal with Munch and Fin for two weeks all by himself.

"Thanks a lot, Don," Elliot said as the car stopped in front of their apartment building, "For everything."  
"You don't have to thank me," he answered, "I told you, you're like a son to me. Which makes you my daughter, Liv. I'll see you two the day after tomorrow."

The both nodded gratefully, and got out of the car.

"Wait," Elliot called softly just as she was about to walk inside.

She turned, "What?"

He dropped their bags onto the floor in the hallway, and she squealed in surprise as he swept her up into his arms.

"What are you doing?" she asked, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

He chuckled as he walked through the doorway, "Carrying you over the threshold. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

She laughed, and buried her face in his neck, "Yeah. It is."

Elliot grinned as he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, closing the door behind him with his foot. They could get their bags later… right now he just wanted to hold her.

"Never put me down," she murmured. She felt so safe in his arms… so loved, like that was where she belonged.

"I won't," he answered, sitting on the couch, but not letting go of her.

She looked up at him, studying him intently for a moment before pressing her lips to his. He sighed into the kiss, bringing a hand to the back of her neck, rubbing it gently.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips.

"I love you, too," he answered, and stood, holding her in his arms as he walked into the bedroom.

* * *

A huge grin spread across Olivia's lips when she saw the result on the pregnancy test that she was holding. Positive. She was having a baby. She and _Elliot_ were having a baby.

When she heard the door close, she put the test in the drawer, and walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey, baby," Elliot greeted happily, pulling her into his arms and pressing a few short, sweet kisses to her lips, "I missed you."

"El," she said, laughing softly, "You were only gone for twenty minutes."

"I know," he answered softly, "I don't want to be away from you for a second."

She smiled at him, and leaned up to kiss his lips before guiding him to the couch, "C'mere. There's something I want to tell you."

A concerned look immediately formed on his face, "What's wrong? Did… did I do something?"

"No, no. Of course not," she answered, running her fingers over his cheek gently, "El… I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" he asked, his blue eyes widening.

She smiled, and nodded, not quite sure what type of reaction this was. She could usually read him like a book, but right now she wasn't sure what he was thinking.

Tears formed in his eyes, and he pulled her as close as he could, "We're having a baby," he whispered.

"Yeah, El," she answered, "We're having a baby."

A beautiful smile graced his lips, and he stood, pulling her up with him. He lifted her off of her feet, and spun her around, laughing happily. She laughed along with him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"That's incredible," he whispered as he set her down, and dropped his forehead to hers.

She was about to agree with him, but he pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss, cutting off any statement that she could have made. Not that she cared.

Her hands went to cup his face, and he rubbed her back slowly as they kissed languidly. They walked into the bedroom, and for the rest of the night, celebrated the life that was growing inside of Olivia.

* * *

Elliot sat on the grass in front of Maureen's grave, and rested his head against his hand as he traced his fingers over the letters. He had come alone this time… Olivia was at home. This was one of the times where he just needed to be alone.

"Hey, Mo," he greeted softly, "Guess what? You're gonna have another little brother or sister.

He sniffled, feeling warm tears form in his eyes, "Or… you would have."

His tears were ones of both sadness and joy… sadness for his daughter, like always, and joy for the child that he and Olivia were being blessed with.

"Isn't that great?" he asked, and then softer, "I'm gonna be a daddy again."

He wiped away his tears, a tiny smile crossing his lips. He was happier than he had been, in… he didn't even know how long. Sighing, he brought his hand away from the stone, but continued to stare intently at it.

"I love you, Maureen," he said softly, and got up, wiping off his pants as he scrutinized the grave for a few more minutes. Sighing, he turned, and walked back towards the car.

* * *

"Hey, El," Olivia greeted softly when he walked into the living room. She knew where he had gone… and she knew why. She was sure that he would want to go there alone. "You okay?"

He nodded as he sat next to her, "Yeah, Liv. I'm great."

She nodded, "Okay."

He pulled her into his arms, smiling as his hand drifted down to her tummy. He still couldn't believe that this was really happening to them. It was… perfect.

She looked up at him, resting her hand over his, "El…"

"I love you," he said softly, cuddling closer to her.

She pressed a short kiss to her lips, "I love you, too."

They both looked down at her stomach, amazed by the fact that a little life was forming inside. She laced her fingers with his, and kissed him again.

Neither of them could imagine how their lives could get any better. But unknown to them, Elliot was only hours away from a tragic realization… One that return him to that fateful day two years ago.

* * *

A/N: Uh-oh. What's going to happen? And Olivia's pregnant!

Remember, I'm always looking for more requests, just shoot me a PM if you have any.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Another early update… a Thanksgiving present, lol. I'm thankful for all of my amazing readers and their awesome reviews… don't let me down, guys!

What happens when Elliot and Olivia return to work? A case brings up some tension… and Elliot gets that news. How does he react to it?

* * *

Elliot and Olivia walked into the bullpen together, beautiful smiles covering their faces. Ever since she told him she was pregnant, he just couldn't stop smiling. And she was thrilled that he was so happy.

"Looks like you two had fun last night," John quipped, a grin tugging at his lips.

"Shut up, John," the couple said in unison, but they were smiling as well. God, they really _did_.

"See, man? I tol' you. They're married now, they share a brain," Fin interjected.

"I think we shared a brain long before we got married," Elliot answered, nudging Olivia's shoulder and giving her an adoring look, "Right, Liv?"

"Of course," she answered, returning his gaze.

"Okay, you two are acting extra cheesy today," John stated, interrupting their moment, "What's going on?"

They smiled at each other knowingly, confusing the daylights out of Munch and Fin. Elliot had opened his mouth, and was just about to say something when Cragen walked to the doorway of his office, "Elliot, Olivia, you two have a case."

He sighed, and walked over to take the pink slip that was in the captain's hand, "Ready, Liv?"

"Yeah," she answered, and got up. They walked out of the bullpen together.

"Were you going to tell them?" Olivia asked softly as they got into the sedan.

He turned to her, was silent for a second, and shrugged his shoulders, "If you wanted me to."

Her hand went to his knee as he pulled out of the parking lot, and squeezed gently, "Soon," she whispered, "Not right now, but… soon."

He smiled, and nodded, "Okay."

They saw the crime scene, and he pulled over onto the side of the road, turning off the car. He got out, and opened the door for her. She smiled at him, and squeezed his hand gently as she got out.

"What've we got?" he asked as they walked over to Melinda.

"Thirty three year old female," the M.E. answered, "Looks like she was hit by a car, but that wasn't the cause of death. I'd say she was dragged into this alley and raped, then strangled to death."

Elliot winced, and Olivia moved her hand to brush against his, comforting him silently. She knew that anything involved with being hit by a car affected him.

He turned to her, and gave her a small smile, telling her that he would be okay.

"Time of death?" he asked, his voice not giving a hint of what he was feeling.

"Based on the body temp, I'd say last night between eleven and one," Melinda answered, "I'll be able to get more when I get her on the table."

Olivia nodded, "Okay. C'mon, El."

"What have we got?" the captain asked when Elliot and Olivia walked into the bullpen.

"Thirty three year old female," Elliot answered, writing it down on the board, "Cause of death was strangulation. She was, uh… she was hit by a car, and then raped and killed."

Cragen nodded, knowing, just like Olivia, the impact that it was having on him, "We have a name yet?"

Elliot shook his head, "No. Not yet."

"Okay. You two still have to finish the paperwork on the Potter case… go ahead and finish that up while you're waiting."

They both sat down at their desks, but instead of pulling out the files like her partner was doing, Olivia just stared at him. He looked up at her, and smiled slightly, "What's up, Liv?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing," she answered in the same soft tone, "Are you okay, El?"

He nodded, "I'm fine. It's not a big deal… just… being hit by a car, that's all. It doesn't matter."

"Okay," she said, and got work on her paperwork. He did the same.

They worked on the files until noon, and then walked to the café down the street from the precinct. Like usual, Elliot ordered a burger in fries, and Olivia got a chicken sandwich. They cut them, and traded halves, like they always did.

When they returned to the bullpen, the door to the captain's office was closed, and the blind was pulled down. Olivia looked over at Elliot, who just shrugged. Usually the door was open. They sat down at their desks, and returned to their paperwork.

The rest of the afternoon and evening went by much like that. They didn't see Cragen at all, and they didn't get any calls from the M.E., or anyone else for that manner, so they just did their paperwork. Munch and Fin returned to the bullpen from a call at five, and the four worked until seven, when Elliot and Olivia shut down and left.

"That was weird," Olivia said when they got into the car.

Elliot nodded, "Yeah. A little bit."

"I wonder why Melinda never called back. Usually she would have by now."

"Maybe it was just hard to identify her," he guessed.

She nodded, "Yeah. Maybe."

The rest of the ride to the apartment was quiet. When they walked into the living room, Elliot wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her neck gently, "It's getting late… you want something to eat?"

"Mmm…" she answered softly, "Chinese?"

"Or course," he agreed, "Thursday's always Chinese night. Why don't you go get comfortable, and I'll order?"

She kissed his lips, and nodded her head, "Okay. Love you."

"Love you, too," he murmured, and let her go, gently patting her butt before she walked into the bedroom.

When she walked back into the living room, he had pulled his shoes and his tie off, the top three buttons on his shirt were undone, and he was relaxing on the couch.

She walked over, and plopped down next to him, cuddling into him. He wrapped his arms around her, "Hi."

"Hi," she murmured into his chest.

He pressed a kiss into her hair, "Food will be here soon."

"Good," she answered, pressing a kiss to his chest through the material of his button up.

They cuddled until the doorbell rang, and he kissed her before getting up to answer it. When he returned, there was a bag in his hands, "Dinner is served."

She chuckled, pulling out one of the cartons, opening it. He returned to her side on the couch, and they cuddled as they fed each other. He cleaned up, and she was surprised when he scooped her up from the couch and carried her into the bedroom. She laughed, "El, what are you doing?"

He smiled at her, and dropped her onto the bed, collapsing next her, "Depends. What do you want me to do?"

She was silent for a second, and then pulled him closer, kissing him deeply. His arms slid around her waist, and he pulled her against him, returning the kiss. Her arms went around him as well, and rubbed his back gently.

They stripped each other slowly, and made love three times before drifting off to sleep.

When they walked into the precinct the next morning, it seemed like everything was back to normal. The captain's door was open, and he was working on paperwork. They sat down at their desks, and started to do the same thing. They had been working for a while before they heard the captain's voice.

"Olivia," Cragen called grimly from the doorway of his office, "I need a word with you."

Elliot looked up at her, a confused look on his face, and she shrugged as she stood from her chair, and walked into the office.

"What's up?" Olivia asked.

"Close the door, please," Cragen said softly.

She followed his instructions, and walked over to take a seat in one of the empty chairs.

"It's about Elliot," the captain started.

"What's wrong with Elliot?" she asked, her voice laced with concern. She didn't remember anything bad happening with him, the only thing that had threw him off balance was the car thing the day before, but that was nothing. He had told her that he was fine, and he had seemed like it, too.

"Here," the captain said, holding out a report, "Read this."

As she read it, her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach. This was going to kill him. She couldn't let him see it.

"How…?" she asked quietly.

"Melinda called me yesterday," Cragen answered in the same soft tone, "I did some research, and I found that out."

"We can't let him see this," she said softly.

"We have to, Liv," he answered, "He has to know. This is about his family."

She took a shaky breath, "Do you know how much this is going to hurt him? Christ, he already thought that he could have done something, that he could have stopped it. What do you think hearing this will do to him? It'll… it'll tear him apart. I've seen him with a broken heart, captain, so have you. Do you really want to put him through that again?"

"I know that you're just trying to protect him. I don't want him to get hurt, either. Remember, as bad as you saw him, I saw him that much worse. But we have to tell him. It'll be better to hear it from us than in a courtroom when the bastard's being arraigned for it."

She sighed, "Fine. I'll get him."

When she walked out of the office, his eyes met hers. A content smile spread across his lips, and he looked so happy, and so oblivious from the news that he was about to be faced with. It made her feel even worse about what she was about to do… break his heart all over again.

His smiled slowly disappeared when he saw the look that was on her face, "Liv? What's wrong?"

"C'mere," she said softly, giving him a small smile as she held out her hand. He took it, and she guided him to the doorway of the office.

Before they went any further, she pulled him into a tight embrace, grasping his soft hair in her fist. "I love you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll always be here for you. I promise."

"What's going on?" Elliot asked nervously as she let go of him, "Is there something you two need to tell me?"

"Sit down," Cragen said, gesturing to one of the seats with his pen.

Elliot looked from the captain to Olivia as he slowly lowered himself into the seat, confusion covering his features. She sat down beside him, and took his hand, squeezing t gently. She knew that she would have to be there for him when he found this out.

"Here," the captain said grimly, handing him the piece of paper.

Elliot took it, and just looked at Cragen for a second before lowering his eyes to read it. Olivia watched as his expression turned from confusion to hurt, and then in a split second, to anger.

"That's not true," he murmured, "That can't be true."

"I'm so sorry, Elliot," the captain said softly, waiting for the explosion, the tears, the yelling, maybe the throwing of things. But it never came.

Elliot shook his head violently, and dropped the paper back onto the desk. He felt the tears coming, the whirlwind of emotions, but he blinked the wetness back. No. He couldn't do this right now, he couldn't… before he knew what he was doing, he was on his feet, and he was out of the office.

Olivia watched as he disappeared from the office, and she felt her heart break. Why him? Why now, that he was so happy, that he had let everything go?

"I told you," she whispered ever so softly.

Cragen nodded his head, his eyes fixed on the door that Elliot had just walked out of, "You should go talk to him… he needs you…"

"I know," she answered. She always knew when he needed her. And these were one of the times, where he _really _needed her. And she was going to be there.

* * *

A/N: What was the news that threw Elliot off like that? Where did he run off to, and will Olivia find him, and be able to comfort him? Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks.

Also, as I said before, just shoot me a PM if you have a request. I'll try my best to do something with it.


	25. Chapter 25

It didn't take long for Olivia to find Elliot. He was in the roof, where he always was when something was bothering him.

"Hey," she greeted softly, walking up next to him.

Her heart broke when she saw that he had been crying.

"Oh, El…" she whispered, bringing her hand up to rub his back gently.

"How could someone do something like that?" he whispered, sniffling, not bothering to try and hide his tears.

"I don't know," Olivia answered, unable to think of anything that she could say to make him feel better. What _could_ she say? He just found out that the accident that had killed his wife and his children wasn't an accident at all. Someone had killed them on purpose… _murdered _them. She didn't know why, but she knew that the person responsible was the same man that had raped and killed their victim the day before.

"I'll kill the bastard," he said hoarsely, wiping his tears away angrily, "I swear to God, I'll fucking kill him."

"Don't say that, Elliot," she told him calmly.

"Why not?" he asked, "He killed… four innocent people. Four innocent girls."

"Because I know you," she answered, "I know that you can't kill someone in cold blood like that."

"He deserves it," Elliot told her, and kicked the railing, hard, releasing some of the tension, but not any of the anger, or the sadness that he was feeling.

"Maybe he does," she said softly, stepping in front of him, and took his hand, gently pressing it to her flat tummy, "But do you really want your child to grow up without a father?"

His knees went weak, and she continued, "You're not angry."

"I'm not?" he answered.

She shook her head, pulling him close, "No, you're not. You're upset, and hurt, and that's okay. It's okay to feel like this, Elliot. There is _nothing_ that you could have done to prevent this from happening."

"How do you know that?" he asked brokenly, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. She was right... she was right about everything.

"Because if there was a way, I know you would have found it," she answered, bringing her hand to the nape of his neck, "C'mon. Let's go home."

He nodded his head slowly, knowing that he couldn't work after finding this out. He was an emotional rollercoaster… he just wanted to go home with Olivia.

She gave him a small, reassuring smile before lowering her hand to take his own. They walked down the stairs, and Olivia talked to the captain before they left the precinct, having gotten as many days off as they needed. She drove them home this time, and guided Elliot into the bedroom, knowing that a day of cuddling was what he needed.

They laid down together, and Elliot scooted close to her, burying his face into her shoulder. The tears came, and Olivia felt them. She held him tight, rubbed his back, and just let him cry, knowing that it was what he needed.

He hadn't cried like this in a long time. Since that day in the precinct hallway, actually. He cried until no more tears came out of his eyes, and still, he let out quiet, dry, heartbreaking sobs. She didn't stop kissing him. Her lips would meet his hair, his forehead, anywhere she could reach.

And finally, he stopped. But he didn't move at all, he didn't speak, and neither did she. She just continued to kiss him and hold him tightly.

"I love you, Liv," he choked out a few minutes later.

"I know you do, El," she answered gently; "I love you, too. Are you okay?"

He shook his head, "No… I don't-I don't know."

"Okay," she said, "That's okay. Just relax."

His grip tightened around her, "Don't… don't leave me, Liv. Please… don't…"

Her arms tightened around him, and she kissed his forehead, "I won't, El. I won't. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. "

He nodded into her shoulder, "Okay…"

Her hand moved to his head, and she stroked her hand through his hair gently. Slowly, his breathing evened out, and he slept. She sighed, and buried her face in his hair. Poor guy… what had he ever done to deserve this? He was so amazing, and so perfect, and he deserved to be happy for the rest of his life, but all of this kept coming back to him, his daughters' deaths.

"I love you, El," she whispered, though he was fast asleep, and he couldn't hear her, "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise, everything's going to work out."

And then she closed her own eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

When Olivia woke up, Elliot was still asleep, and he was still holding her to him tightly. She turned to look at the clock… it was almost two. They had slept for a while. He stirred in her arms, and his eyes opened slowly, "Liv…?"

She smiled softly at him, "Hey, El. How do you feel?"

He sighed shakily, and shrugged his shoulders, "Okay… I guess…"

She kissed his nose, "That's good."

He pulled her as close as she could, burying his face in her neck, "Love you…"

"I love you, too, El," she answered softly, rubbing his back lightly.

They were silent for a few minutes, and then she felt him inhale shakily. His exhale turned into a soft, almost inaudible sob. And then the dam broke again. He cried. She didn't say anything, she just let him cry again, because she knew that he needed it.

"It's… it's my fault…" he whispered, "I-I should have done something, I should've… should've saved them. Why couldn't I?"

"Elliot, look at me," she commanded gently, starting to lift his chin off of her shoulder.

"No…" he said in a childish tone, burying his face deeper into her.

"Yes, El," she insisted, "C'mon, sweetheart. Please just look at me."

He hesitated, but slowly lifted his head so she could see his beautiful blue eyes. She ran her hand down his cheek gently, "Elliot, there was _nothing_ that you could have done. You didn't know what was happening; you didn't know that some psycho was going to do this to your family. It's just like when you thought that it was an accident. You couldn't have prevented it either way. You knew that it wasn't your fault before, what's changed?"

He shrugged a single shoulder, and whispered painfully, "I don't know…"

She sighed, and pulled his head back into her shoulder, "Okay. It's okay."

They laid there for several more minutes, before she spoke softly, "We didn't have dinner last night. You hungry, want something to eat?"

He shook his head immediately, "No. Just want you."

Her arms tightened back around him, "Okay."

And then they fell back into silence. Elliot kept his face pressed into Olivia's shoulder, trying to forget about all the guilt that he couldn't help but feel, and the terrible feeling in his gut that made him believe that things were going to get worse before they got better.

But somehow, he knew that it _would_ get better. She made him feel too happy, too loved for it not to. He had a family now. A wife, and a baby on the way. The thought made him smile. He was going to be a daddy again. He was getting a second chance. His life couldn't get any better, other than the news that was revealed to him.

"I love you," he whispered, just needing to know that she felt the same way. Needing to know that she was there, and she wasn't going anywhere.

"I love you, too, El," she answered, pressing a kiss to his head.

His eyes filled with tears again, and he tried to blink them back. But it didn't work. They started to fall again, and Olivia felt them. She lifted his face, and kissed the wetness away, "It's okay, El. I'm here, everything's gonna be okay."

He nodded, "I know… I just wish that…" he broke off when a sob escaped his lips.

"I know you do," she answered, knowing what he was going to say without him having to say it.

He nodded his head against her shoulder, thankful that she knew what he meant. She always knew what he was thinking.

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud growling of his stomach. She chuckled softly, and ran her hand through the back of his hair, "Now you're hungry."

He shrugged lightly, "Yeah."

She pat his back, "C'mon. Let's get something to eat."

He hesitated, but slowly loosened his grip on her, "Okay…"

She smiled at him, and took his hand, pulling him up off the bed with her. Her arm wrapped around him as they walked into the kitchen together. She sat him down at the table, and took out the leftover Chinese from the night before.

She set it down in front of him, and sat down next to him with her own plate. He scooted his chair closer to hers, needing to be close. He ate slowly, and she picked at her food, but mostly just looked at him. He set his fork down on the table, and his eyes met hers.

He laid his head against her, and her arms wrapped around him, "Are you okay?"

He sighed shakily, and nodded his head, "Yeah. I will be."


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's the next chapter of Shattered. Elliot and Olivia spend some time alone together... and more news is revealed to Elliot.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia took the rest of that week off, and spent it lounging around the apartment, snuggling, watching movies, and making love. A lot. He cried, and he would hold him, and tell him how much she loved him. She wasn't surprised by his reaction… anyone would have done the same thing if they realized that their children were murdered like that. Olivia comforted him as best she could, and it seemed to be helping him.

It was late Sunday morning, and they laid in bed, tangled up in the sheets and in each other. Elliot ran his fingers over the soft skin of her shoulder, and then down her body to rest on her tummy. She looked at him, and smiled, placing her own hand over his larger one.

"I love you, Liv," he whispered, kissing her softly, "And I love this little one."

"We love you, too," she answered, smiling at him, "Daddy."

His lips turned upward, and he kissed her again. It felt incredible to hear that… he was going to be a daddy again. It seemed to be the only thing that cheered him up… he was having a baby with Olivia. He just wished that it had been a better time… when he hadn't just figured out that his family was murdered, instead of killed by accident like he thought before.

She framed his cheek with her hand, "That's the biggest smile I've seen on you since…"

"Yeah. I know," Elliot answered, nodding his head, "Liv… losing them was one thing. But figuring out now that… that they were murdered..." he trailed off, and lowered his eyes, unable to finish the statement.

"I know, El," she whispered, knowing what he was trying to say without him actually saying it, "But it's not your fault. You know that, right?"

He shrugged a single shoulder, snuggling closer to her, "We don't know who did it… it could have been because of me…"

He felt guilty… he had before this revelation, but now it seemed even more so. They could have been killed… because of him… he shook his head, taking a shaky breath.

"Hey," she said gently, framing his face with both of her hands, "No matter what happened, or who did it, it could _never_ be your fault, Elliot. Do you hear me? _Never_."

He was silent, wanting to believe what she was telling him, but not quite knowing if he could. His hand went to her stomach. He may not have been able to protect his older two children, or Kathy, but that wasn't going to happen again. He couldn't lose Olivia. He would die.

"I promise I won't let anything like that happen to you two. I'll protect you, no matter what," he promised quietly.

She held him tighter, nodding her head, "We know you will, El. You won't lose us."

He wouldn't. Both of them would make sure of that. Neither of them said anything for several more minutes… they just laid there, in each others' arms.

"I should go to the cemetery," he said quietly. He needed to… after what he found out, he had to go.

Olivia nodded her head, knowing that this was one of the times when he had to go by himself. She kissed him gently, reminding him of how much she loved him, "I'll be right here when you get back."

He nodded gratefully, and got up to get dressed. "I love you," he said just as he made his way to the door of the bedroom.

"I love you, too," she answered, and he walked out.

Elliot took a shaky sigh as he walked to his oldest daughter's grave.

"Hi, Mo," he whispered, "I know what really happened now… I'm so sorry."

He dropped to his knees, feeling the tears well up again. He had been getting better, getting over it, but there, in front of her grave… he couldn't help but feel a wave-more like a tsunami- of guilt wash over him. He should have been able to stop this… or at least try to stop it.

He was suddenly afraid. Afraid for Olivia, and afraid for their child. He couldn't protect Kathy, Maureen and Kathleen, so what made him think that he could protect them? What… what made him _worthy_ of them?

He shook his head, coming to his senses. Olivia loved him. Of course he was worthy of them. If he wasn't, then he wouldn't have them in his life. If he wasn't, she wouldn't have stuck around.

His fingers went to trace the letters on the stone, and he sighed. Someone murdered them… why would someone murder them? Why would someone want to take their lives like that? Sighing, he stood up. He didn't have the answers… he might never know why.

"I love you," he whispered, so softly that even if there was someone with him, they wouldn't be able to hear it. And then, he moved on to Kathleen, and then to Kathy.

When he walked into the apartment, Olivia was sitting on the couch, reading a book. She was dressed in a pair of shorts and one of his t-shirts… his heart melted. She was so beautiful.

She put the book down when she saw him, and silently pat the spot next to her on the couch. He slipped off his shoes and his light jacket, and plopped down beside her, pulling her close to him, "Hi…"

"Hey," she answered, "How'd it go?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Fine…"

"That's good," she said, running her hand through his hair, "I talked to the captain. Are you ready to go back to work tomorrow?"

Elliot nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay."

He held her tight for a few minutes, and then whispered softly, "Can we go back to bed now?"

She chuckled softly at his childish tone, and nodded her head, "You don't even have to ask."

She stood, pulling him along with her, and they walked into the bedroom, collapsing onto the mattress. He pulled her as close as possible, and she wrapped the blanket tightly around them both.

"How're you feeling?" she asked quietly.

He sighed, "You're here… so I guess I'm okay."

Olivia smiled, and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, "I'm glad."

He pressed his face into the crook of her neck, and closed his eyes, just realizing how tired he was. She noticed this, and reached over to turn the lamp off. She tightened her arms around him, and whispered in his ear, "Sweet dreams, Eli."

"Mmm..." he murmured, "Night, Livia…"

She rubbed his back gently, listening as his breathing evened out, and he slept. She closed her own eyes, and let the sounds of his breaths lull her into oblivion.

When she woke up, the alarm was blaring. She smacked the off button, and looked next to her, where Elliot was still sleeping peacefully. She smiled… he looked so peaceful, so serene when he slept. The worries of the world eluded him, there was nothing that could hurt him. Somehow, she didn't really want to wake him up, bring him back to the harsh realities.

He stirred, and cuddled closer to her, sighing in his sleep. She kissed the top of his head, knowing that there was good, too. They were together. They were having a child. Elliot would get over this… she knew that. He was too strong not to.

So she shook her shoulder gently, and whispered gently in his ear, "El…"

His eyes fluttered open slowly, and she smiled at him, "Hi."

"Hey," he answered, stretching out on the bed, "What time is it?"

"Six," she answered, "We have to get up and get ready."

He nodded his head, and sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, "I'm gonna get in the shower…" he said as he got up.

She stood along with him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "Not without me."

He smiled, and turned, wrapping his own arms around her, "Well, let's go then."

She laughed softly, and they disappeared beyond the door of the bathroom. They washed each other, dried each other off, and even dressed each other, sharing gentle kisses and loving touches throughout the whole process.

Olivia fixed Elliot's tie, and pecked him on the lips. He pulled her close, "Ready?"

"Mm hm," she answered, and they walked out of the apartment together, hand in hand.

When they walked into the bullpen, Cragen was talking to Munch and Fin in front of the whiteboard. They both made their way over to their colleagues.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked, dropping Olivia's hand, which he had been holding for the whole ride over.

Cragen turned to him, and sighed, "Elliot… we found him."

His heart froze in his chest. Did he mean…? Taking a deep breath, he spoke, "Do you mean…?"

The captain nodded, knowing what the detective was going to say, "Yes."

His blood ran cold. It roared in his ears, his head was suddenly spinning. They found him. They found the man who… he couldn't even think it. He suddenly knew how all the victims' families felt when he told them the same thing. He wanted to go out and kill the man himself.

* * *

A/N: What's going to happen now? What will Elliot and the rest of the squad do? Please review... all the feedback from two chapters ago was good, but last chapter I only got four. I might be getting greedy, but I love hearing what you guys think. Thank you to all my faithful reviewers... you guys are what keeps this story going. :) Please take the time to tell me how you feel about this... even if it's just a few words.

Thanks


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: What's Elliot going to do now that they know where the killer of his family is? Or will he be able to do anything?

* * *

"We're going to pick him up," Cragen said, "Me, Munch, Fin and Olivia."

"What about me?" Elliot asked, feeling the rage bubble up inside of him.

"You stay here," the captain answered, "You should know that."

He should have. But his brain was clouded with every negative emotion that he could think of, he couldn't think about anything except the fact that they knew who killed them, and now he wanted to kill him. He wanted to… so god damn bad…

"You want me to do nothing?" the detective demanded, and felt Olivia's hand take his, squeezing, trying to calm him down silently. But it didn't work this time.

"That's what I need you to do right now," the captain answered in a calm voice, but inside he knew that Elliot was just a step away from breaking down. With anger, or with sorrow, he wasn't sure, but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. "Come here."

He guided Elliot into a quiet corner, watched him seethe for a second, and then spoke again, "Look, I know you want to catch this bastard, but you have to trust me on this. I don't want you to do something that you regret. I need you to stay and take care of things here."

Elliot shook his head, "You can't expect me to sit by and do nothing while you go out and arrest the pig that did this to my children."

Cragen sighed, and rested a hand on either of Elliot's shoulders, speaking quietly this time, "I know you, Elliot. If you get within twenty feet of this guy, you're probably going to end up losing your job. Do you think that's what Olivia wants?"

Elliot looked at his wife, the love of his life, and his eyes softened just a little bit. He shook his head, and he looked back down at the floor, "No," he answered, his voice soft and hoarse, "That's not what she wants."

Cragen pat him on the shoulder, "It's gonna be okay, Elliot."

Olivia walked over when he walked away, "Hey."

She took his hand when he didn't respond, and stepped a little closer, "We'll get him, El."

He nodded, and she brought her finger under his chin, lifting it gently so he would look at her, "Hey. We'll get him, El. I promise, okay?"

"I know," he said softly.

She couldn't help it. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, and hugged him, hoping that the gesture would help him, "He's going to pay for what he did, El. I promise you."

He hugged her back, nodding against her shoulder, and she let go of him, pressing a gentle kiss to his face, "You hang in there. We'll be back soon."

"Yeah," he answered softly, and she gave him one last fond look before she left with the rest of the guys. Elliot sighed shakily, and looked around. Things were starting to quiet down. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

He sat down at his desk, and tried to catch up on some paperwork, but the faces of his daughters kept popping into his head. He read the same sentence about fifteen times before he gave up. So he stood and started pacing. All's he could think about were them… how they died-how they were _murdered_- and how it might have been all his fault. Olivia said that it wasn't… but at that moment, it sure as hell felt like it.

He tried to think of her, about how much he loved her and how he couldn't wait to have a baby with her. But it didn't work. He felt like a caged animal, all locked up and no place to go. He felt as if he were going to explode any second… a ticking time bomb. He had never felt like this before… not even when Cragen first told him that they were gone. He would be afraid if he wasn't so angry, so… he didn't even know the words for the emotions that were coursing through him.

Finally, he just couldn't take it anymore. He walked over to the lockers, and opened his with shaky hands. His gun was resting there, just as he had left it last week. He holstered it at his hip, and walked over to his desk, grabbing his coat and pulling it on.

He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this was wrong. He shouldn't have been doing it. But he just didn't care anymore. He was past the point of no return, there was no self-control left.

He was almost out the door when he realized that he had no idea where he was going. So he walked into the captain's office, and looked over the desk, searching for the pink slip that would lead him to the man that had made over a year of his life a living hell.

And then he found it. He walked out of the precinct, and got into his car, starting it up and speeding towards the address on the slip.

He didn't know how he made it to the house. The ride had been a blur, he couldn't remember it if he tried. But he was there. He got out of the car, and walked up to the front door, pulling his gun out and keeping it at his side. He counted to three in his head, and then he was kicking the door down.

Everything happened so fast after that. There was a first coming at his face, which he ducked out of the way of. He grabbed the man by the shirt, and threw him against the wall. Before he could do anything else, there was another attacker coming at him. Elliot tackled him to the ground, and jumped to his feet, blood roaring in his ears, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

And then he heard s a single voice, "Freeze, or I'll shoot!"  
Elliot looked up, and what he saw brought dread pouring into his system. There were all four of his colleagues, tied up, sitting on the small couch. There was a man, about his height, pointing a gun directly at Olivia's head.

How the _fuck_ had this happened? How had four police officers been subdued like that? Fear ripped through him… not for him, but for his wife, and for the men that he considered his family.

"Drop the gun," the man said. Elliot's eyebrows furrowed… after all that, he still had his gun in his hand? Apparently, he hadn't gone fast enough, because he shouted, "I said drop it!"

Realization shot through him. This was the man. He was the one that killed his family. He didn't know how he knew, he had seen two other men there, but he knew that it was him. Rage pulsed through his brain… if there wasn't a gun pointing at his wife, he would have killed the man himself. He wanted to… he wanted to so goddamn bad.

But he wouldn't-he _couldn't_- risk their lives like that. No matter how angry he was, he couldn't do that. So he kneeled down, placed his gun on the floor, and stood up straight again.

"Let's be cool, here," he said, but it was if someone else was speaking. There were to be too many emotions roaring through him to sound that calm, "No one has to get hurt."

_Except for you… once you put that gun down I'm going to rip your throat out. _

Suddenly, there was someone behind him, hooking his arms up so he couldn't more them. He felt pain as his legs were kicked out from under him, and he went down to his knees. His wide eyes went to Olivia's own, asking her silently what the hell was going on. Unfortunately, she couldn't tell him.

The man moved his gun from Olivia to point it at Elliot as he took a few steps towards him.

"Who the hell are you?" the detective demanded, sounding much more confident than a man that was restrained with a gun pointed at him should be.

The man chuckled, and a chill ran down his spine. That laugh… he couldn't describe it as anything else but evil. "I'm disappointed, Detective Stabler. You don't remember me? Here's a hint… twelve years ago, rape. Christina Andrews."

Suddenly, it all came back to him. Twenty-three years old, raped. "Matt Sanford."

He grinned, showing off his yellow teeth, "Very good, Detective."

"_You_ killed my family," Elliot realized.

"Yes. I did," Matt answered.

He didn't know what came over him, except for the knowledge that the man that had almost ruined his life, that had killed his two beautiful daughters was right there, in his presence. The man that he had wanted to kill only days ago… and that part of him still wanted to. He was standing in a flash, the arms around him were gone, and Sanford was stumbling back. Elliot wasn't even sure when he hit him.

There were suddenly hands on his again, and he struggled to get out of the grasp. He wanted to hit the asshole again. He wanted to… Christ, he wanted to kill him.

Matt gained his bearings, and then walked back to Elliot, hitting him hard across the face with the butt of his gun. He stumbled backwards, and the men behind him forced him back to his knees. He felt wetness on his upper lip, and he knew that it was blood. His arms were pulled behind his back, and he felt rope being tied around his wrists.

Olivia's heart sunk in her chest as she watched this… why was he there? Why didn't he just wait at the precinct like Cragen told him to? This was exactly what Sanford wanted…

"Angry, huh?" Matt asked, squatting in front of Elliot, "I bet it makes your blood boil, being so close to the person responsible for your family's deaths, but not being able to do anything about it."

Matt was right. Elliot was itching to hit him again… but his hands were tied behind his back and the men behind him were holding him down so he couldn't move.

"I've been waiting for this day for a long time," Matt said, "I thought that my work was done after I killed that bitch and your bastard children," the men had to pull Elliot back so that he didn't pounce on him, "But that goddamn captain of yours…" he glanced at Cragen before continuing, "I saw you on that roof, with your gun pressed under your chin. I couldn't wait to see you blow your brains out. I made you suffer that much… so much that you didn't want to live anymore."

Olivia gasped softly. She had never heard that story before… she knew that Elliot had been sad, depressed, but not enough to take his own life. Elliot looked down at the floor, his cheeks burning with shame. Only he and Cragen had known about that day… he had wanted to keep it that way.

"You know, I was going to just kill you right away, until all of your friends here came," Matt said, "I bet you would suffer even more if I hurt them, too, wouldn't you?"

Elliot swallowed, a pang of fear shooting through his body. He wasn't afraid for himself… he just didn't want them to get hurt because of him. Just like his family had… he swallowed, "Don't. Please."

Part of his pride drained away. This wasn't about him anymore. It was about protecting his friends… his family. He would do anything to keep them safe.

"Why not?" Matt asked, grinning evilly.

"You want to kill me," he said, "I'm right here."

Matt nodded his head, and stood up straight. The men made Elliot do the same, and Matt pressed the nose of his gun to the detective's forehead, "Yeah. That's right. You are."

Suddenly, Matt's knee was in his gut. His knees buckled from the pain, but the men kept him standing.

"But I want to make you suffer first."

* * *

A/N: Uh-oh... what's going to happen now? By the way, thank you guys for all the reviews... ten from last chapter. That's the most that I've gotten in any other chapter. Let's keep going! Maybe this time I can get fifteen reviews? I know you guys can do it! I don't care how long it is, just tell me what you think. It only takes a few seconds, and it makes me really happy to know that you guys like it, or you're taking the time to tell me what I can improve on.

And you know that I just had to add more drama, lol. This story has been way too calm for me. :)

Thanks


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Hey, guys. Sorry it took so long to update! Thanks for all the great reviews. I'm really happy with all the feedback! Just keep that up, and I'll be a happy updater :) Anyway, enjoy thr chapter!

* * *

Her brown eyes were wide. There were many emotions swimming in them, and from experience, he could decipher them all. Anger, hatred… not directed at him, of course, but at the man that was beating the hell out of him. There was love, as well, love for him, and pain. He was not surprised at the pain in her deep brown orbs. They felt what ever emotions that the other one was feeling.

So he was sure that the exact same emotions were in his own eyes. Mostly pain, though. Of course. Pain had been such a big part of his life before, and why would that change now? Though this was a different kind of pain. Pain that he could handle, instead of the emotional turmoil that had plagued him before.

It was a relief, in a way. He knew that he sounded like a masochist, but he'd much rather feel this pain than the pain from before. He couldn't deny that he did feel a chunk of sadness, and guilt, but it was masked by the physical blows that Matt was dealing him.

Elliot kept his eyes locked on Olivia's, thought about how much he loved her, blocked out the physical pain. It was getting harder to do that, though, because with each punch or kick that came his way, the pain grew more prominent. He wasn't sure how much longer the shield that he had formed around his mind would last.

His eyes moved from her to Matt, but before he could get a look, there was a fist connecting with his face. He stumbled, nearly fell to the ground, but the two men on either side of him kept him up, just like they had been. There was wetness travelling down his upper lip, he was sure that it was blood from when Matt had elbowed him in the face. His left eye was throbbing, his ribs ached. He was sure that there were bruises forming where the men were holding him tightly.

"Let him go," Matt said, and the grip loosened, and then disappeared. He nearly fell to the floor from the pain, but managed to stay on his feet. He would be strong for as long as he could.

An ugly grin spread across Matt's face, "You can still stand," he said, "We're going to have to fix that, won't we?"

Before he could even blink, he was on the floor. He wasn't sure how he got there, but he thought that it was a kick. His head was pounding even more than it was before… a kick to the head.

"Untie him," he heard from above him, and then the ropes were gone from around his wrists. "Get up."

God, please have mercy on his soul… if this bastard was going to kill him, then why not do it already? He was getting sick of this game… see how much Elliot can take.

"Get up!" Matt shouted, "Or I'll just pick another one of them. Maybe Cragen? Or better yet, your precious Olivia."

No. He wouldn't let anyone else get hurt. So he slowly got to his feet, the pain making him dizzy and weak. He didn't know how long he could stay like this. Then there was a fist in his face again. He stumbled back, nearly fell, but the two men grabbed him, and held him up.

He didn't know how many times Matt punched him there. But he knew that it was too many. Fuck, just please kill him and get it over with…

Obviously, he got bored of punching, because he reached into his pocket, and pulled something out. Elliot wasn't sure what it was until the shiny blade caught his eye. Oh, what the fuck…

Matt stepped closer to him, pressed the blade under his chin, forcing him to look up at his face.

"You must be pretty stupid, huh?" Matt said, "Could slit your throat right now and I don't even see a flicker of fear."

Elliot didn't speak, and Matt pressed the knife further into his skin, drawing blood, "Say something."

"I'm not afraid," he answered.

And he wasn't. He wasn't afraid… not at all. He didn't care what happened to him. As long as his family made it through this… then everything would be okay. He'd die for them. He'd gladly sacrifice his life for his wife and his unborn child.

Matt drew the knife away from his neck, he thought that he was going to put it away, but before he knew it, there was a big bloody gash across his chest. He touched the cut with his fingers, and saw the blood against his skin.

Matt put the blade away, and then his foot was connecting with Elliot's face. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. The blood was flowing from his chest... if he didn't stop it soon…

"Get up," Matt said.

"Elliot, please stay down," he suddenly heard Olivia's voice, "You're hurt enough, please just stay down."

He ignored her pleas. He had too, or she was going to get hurt. And he couldn't let that happen. Not for anything. It took him a few minutes and a lot more pain, but he managed to force himself to his feet. All the bones in his body were protesting, but he ignored them just like he had done with hid wife.

One of the men handed him a baseball bat, and his heart sunk. Where they going to beat him to death? Why not just take a gun and blow his brains out…

The two men behind him grabbed his arms, held him in his spot as the bat swung in Matt's hands.

His gaze went back to Olivia's eyes, getting lost in them so that he could escape the pain as much as possible. His ribs were snapping and breaking, he could feel them, and even hear a few of them. It seemed as if it was forever before the bat finally fell to the ground, and the men let go of him.

That was it. He collapsed to the floor, and he knew that he wasn't getting back up.

"I think you've suffered enough," Matt said, and walked over to Olivia, taking her gun out of its holster.

He squatted over Elliot, and pressed the gun to his forehead, "Say goodnight."

Elliot didn't bother to fight. After the pain that he'd been dealt… he welcomed death with open arms. It wasn't as if he could fight, even if he wanted to, anyway.

Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Matt dropped to the floor, a bullet hole in his forehead. Pain clouded Elliot's vision, he didn't know what was happening around him until Olivia collapsed on her knees next to him.

His eyes met hers, and her heart broke. His beautiful blue orbs were clouded with pain, he looked so hurt, so broken.

"Liv," he whispered, so softly that she barely heard it.

"Shh… it's going to be okay, Eli. You're going to be okay."

"We called a bus," one of the SWAT members said, leaning next to her, and then he was gone.

She pulled his head gently into her lap, and ran a hand through his hair, desperately needing to be closer to him.

"Liv… so tired…"

Tears stung her eyes, "I know, sweetheart. I know. But you have to hang on for just a little bit longer, okay? Can you do that for me?" the tears overflowed, "You did so good, baby. I love you so much."

Cragen, Munch and Fin gathered around them, watching the tragic scene unfold. Cragen pulled off his jacket, and gently pressed it to Elliot's bleeding chest, helping as much as he could.

"I'm dying…" he rasped. All four of them had to lean closer to hear him.

He was. He could feel the life slowly being drained out of him… just breathing was becoming more and more difficult.

"No," Olivia answered, the tears falling freely now, "Don't say that. You're going to be fine," she took his weak, shaking hand, and pressed it to her stomach, "I thought you didn't want this baby to grow up without a father. Don't leave me now, Elliot. Please."

"I-'m so sorry," he answered, "Love... you…"

The door burst open, and paramedics rushed inside. Everything happened so fast after that… before Olivia knew it, she was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. She was alone, she had ridden in the ambulance with him. All's she could see was his eyes… the pain in them, the way they were clouded with blood loss, and…death. Her heart was aching in her chest, she could barely stand being here alone, instead of with him where she belonged… she couldn't lose him. If she did, she would die, too.

"Liv," she heard from above her, and when she looked up, she saw Don's sad eyes. Munch and Fin were with him as well.

Cragen held out his arms, and Olivia stood, stepping into his embrace. The dam broke, and she started sobbing.

"I can't lose him," she said between cries.

"I know," the captain answered, "And you won't. He's strong, Liv. He'll be okay."

"What if he isn't? What if he…"

"Shh… don't talk like that," he scolded gently, "He will be. You know him. He wouldn't let something like this take him out. Especially with everything he'd be leaving behind."

"Family of Elliot Stabler?" they heard one of the doctors announce.

"That's us," Olivia called immediately, "How is he?"

"Not too good," the doctor answered as he stepped closer to them, "Whoever it was, they did a number on him. Eight ribs are broken. He lost a lot of blood, and there was massive internal bleeding. Most of his body's suffered from blunt force trauma."

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Olivia asked weakly, almost pleading the doctor to say yes, that he would be fine.

The doctor sighed, "We don't think so. His chances don't look good."

More tears came to her eyes, and her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach. She felt Cragen's arm tighten around her, "How bad?" he asked, "Put a number on it."

"He has about a fifteen percent chance of survival. He probably won't make it through the night. I'm so sorry."

* * *

A/N: I KNOW, you guys are probably pissed at me. But give me as much awesome feedback as you did before (or even more), and I'll update quick so you know what happens next.

If you guys can give me 20 reviews before Wednesday when I usually update, I'll add TWO, yes, TWO chapters to this story on Wed. instead of just one. How does that sound? But you guys have to give me at least 20!


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: What will happen with Elliot? Will he be okay, or has his time run out?

* * *

Olivia's heart shattered in her chest. Her legs gave out from under her, and if it wasn't for Cragen holding her so tightly, she would be on the ground. She had just found out that her husband, the love of her life, her _best friend _was probably going to be gone in twelve hours.

"What if he does?" she asked, her voice shaking with sorrow, "What if he does make it through the night?"

"We're not sure," the doctor answered quietly, "If he does, the chance of survival will probably improve, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. He's just too weak."

"C-can I see him?"

"Of course," the doctor answered, "His room is just down the hall. Fourth door on the left."

Cragen moved his arm, gently pushing her forward, "Go ahead, Liv. He needs you."

She nodded, "Thanks."

But she did not wait for a response. She walked quickly down the hall, and stepped into his room. The sight in front of her almost made her gasp. There he was… laying in the hospital bed, a light blanket draped over him. He looked so hurt, so vulnerable laying there. His skin was pale to the point of being unnatural, making the nasty looking bruise next to his left eye stand out even more. She saw the cut on his throat where Matt had dug the knife into his skin. He was far too handsome to be marred with cuts and bruises.

Tears blurred her vision as she pulled over a chair, and sat down next to him, taking his limp hand into both of hers, "Oh, Eli…"

She swallowed, and the tears overflowed, "Please be okay," she whispered, "You have to be okay. I can't live without you. You're… you're strong, I know you can fight this."

She would give anything to hear his voice… telling her that he was okay, that he was never leaving her. But of course he didn't. He couldn't, because he probably was leaving her. She knew that he didn't want to, she knew that it wasn't his choice… that only made it hurt more.

She lowered her head to his, kissed his cheekbone lightly, and pressed the side of her face against his chest, listening to his faint, weak heartbeat.

She spent all night talking to him, listening to the heart monitor grow slower and slower. He was dying. He was dying and she couldn't do anything to help him. She felt helpless.

Darkness wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He felt no pain, no anguish. Just warmth, peace… calmness. He never wanted to leave this. He blinked, and then there was a shining light in the distance. He squinted, saw a bright light, and immediately thought about how cliché it was.

He saw something else, someone, and tried to sit up, but he could barely move. So he waited. The figure came closer, and he started to see her features... he almost cried when he saw who it was. It was his oldest daughter.

"Mo?" he choked out, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"Hi, Dad," she answered. The voice was angelic; it was music to his ears. But he couldn't expect anything less. She was an angel.

"What… how are you…?"

"I'm here to save you," she answered.

"Save me?" he asked quietly, "I'm already… aren't I?"

"No, Daddy," she whispered, "You're not supposed to be. It's not your time. Not yet, not for a long time."

"I don't," he swallowed, "I don't want to leave you."

Maureen smiled slightly, and reached to touch the spot directly above his heart. Warmth flowed through his body, and a vision of Olivia, sitting next to him, holding his hand and crying, filled his mind.

"What about her? Olivia?" Maureen asked, "You can't leave her all alone."

Tears formed in his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Mo."

She reached down, and wiped his tears away, "For what? What happened… it isn't your fault, Daddy. None of us blame you. We're happy that you moved on and found someone that makes you so happy. We're happy that you have someone to take care of you and love you again. And now you have to go back to her."

"But I still love you," he whispered.

"We'll always be with you, Daddy," she told him, resting a hand over his heart, "In here. Every word that you've said to us… we've heard it all. Now please. You have to go back before you can't."

He smiled slightly, and nodded his head, "You've grown, Mo."

She smiled back, "I know. So have you."

Olivia checked her watch, and her hand tightened around Elliot's. Six in the morning. His heart monitor was still beeping, his chest was still rising and falling slightly. He was alive. Did that mean that he was going to be okay? The doctor had told her not to get her hopes up… but it was hard not to.

"Elliot," she whispered, "Please wake up so you can tell me yourself that you're going to be okay."

The corner of his mouth twitched. It was a slight move, one that she wouldn't have noticed if she wasn't looking at him so intently. But it was a move. He had moved.

"El?" she asked, "Can… can you hear me?"

She felt his hand tightened slightly around hers. His chest raised a little higher, his heart beat a little stronger. Then, his eyes opened slowly.

As soon as she saw the sparkling, deep blue color of his eyes, she could breathe again. He was okay. He was awake; he was going to be okay.

"Liv?" he asked weakly.

She smiled softly at him, touching his cheek with her palm, "You're okay, El," she whispered, "You're okay."

He brought a hand to rest on hers. It was cold, and shaking slightly, but it felt so good to feel his touch again.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, remembering the vision that Maureen had showed him.

"I'm fine, El," she answered, "I…I thought I was going to lose you."

"I know. But I'm here," he said, squeezing her hand lightly.

She smiled slightly, and nodded her head, "I know."

The door opened, and the doctor from before entered. "Well, looks like someone's feeling better." He walked closer to check Elliot's vitals. "When did you wake up?"

"Just a few minutes ago," Olivia answered for him, smoothing her hand over his hair lovingly.

The doctor nodded his head, "Your heartbeat is strong, your breathing is normal… everything seems to be working just fine. It'll take a little while, but you'll make a full recovery."

"Thanks, Doc," Elliot said, leaning into Olivia's touch subconsciously.

He smiled, and nodded, "Not a problem. Now, try and get some rest. You'll heal quicker that way. I have to go check on other patients."

And then he was gone. Olivia smiled down at Elliot, "You heard him, El. Close your, eyes, rest."

"Okay," he answered, tightening his grip on her hand, "But, um… lay with me?"

The idea sounded incredible… all's she wanted to do was be close to him. But she hesitated, "You're hurt, El, I don't want to make it worse."

He pulled her towards him gently, "You won't… please, Liv?"

She couldn't say no to him. So she carefully slid into the small hospital bed, and wrapped her arms around him gently. He snuggled closer to her, and let his eyes drift shut. She kissed the top of his head gently, "Night, Eli."

"Night, Livia," he murmured in response, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Realizing how tired she was from staying up with him all night, she closed her own eyes, and drifted off with him.

When the nurse walked in a little while later to check Elliot's vitals, a smile graced her lips as she saw the couple sleeping peacefully in each other's arms.

* * *

A/N: I COULDN'T kill Elliot, guys :) He and Olivia are far to good together to rip them apart now. And I'd like to thank all you guys that reviewed. 26 reviews for last chapter! That's more than twice the amount that I usually get. So, as promised, the next chapter will be up soon. Thank ALL you guys for the support, I appreciate it a LOT. It feels really good knowing that people like what you're writing, or are awesome enough to tell you how you can improve. Please, drop a review after you are done reading this, and maybe I can get even more feedback than last chapter. Knowing that you guys like what I'm doing is a really good MOTIVATOR. Make me happy and I'll update quicker! LOL.

Thanks.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Sorry it took so long, guys! My computer crashed last night after I posted the past chapter. But here it is, the second chapter as promised.

* * *

Olivia lay in the hospital bed, watching Elliot as he slept. She was so relieved, she was so happy that he was going to be okay. She knew before that she could not live without him. But know that she had almost lost him for good, she realized just how far it went. Watching him as he came closer and closer to Death was the worst feeling that she had ever felt in her life.

She thanked God that she wouldn't have to lose him.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a light knocking on the door to the room. When she looked up, she saw Captain Cragen leaning against the doorframe. She smiled softly at him, "Come on in."

He nodded his head, walked further into the room, and dropped into the empty chair that she had been occupying earlier.

"How's he doing?" Cragen asked softly.

"He's going to be fine," she stated, moving closer to her sleeping husband, "He woke up this morning, fell back asleep a while ago."

The captain sighed a sigh of relief. He was going to be okay. Thank God. He knew that if Elliot died, that Olivia would, too. He couldn't bare the thought of losing the two detectives that he thought of as his own children.

"That's good," Cragen said, "He deserves his rest."

She nodded her head, smoothing a hand over his hair, "Yeah, he does."

His eyebrows turned upward as he looked carefully at her. Even though she had slept for a little while, there were bags under her eyes, and her posture was slumped.

"You look exhausted," the captain said gently, "Why don't you go home and get some proper sleep?"

Olivia shook her head, "No… I can't leave Elliot. He needs me."

Cragen sighed, and dropped it, knowing that she was as stubborn as her husband was. She wasn't going to leave Elliot's side.

"Alright," he said, "I have to get back to the station. Fill out the incident reports."

"Okay," she answered, "I'll tell him you stopped by."

Cragen smiled, and nodded his head before he walked out. And then there was silence again. Olivia looked down at Elliot, who was still sleeping peacefully. She smiled, tracing his cheekbone with her fingers. God, she loved him.

A little while later, he stirred from his position in her arms, and his eyes opened slowly. A tiny smile twitched across his lips when he saw her.

"Hey," she greeted, smiling back at him, "Have a nice nap?"

"Mmm," he answered in a soft murmur, "You were here," he said, "So it was pretty good."

She smiled at the phrase, and kissed his nose, "I feel the same way."

They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Olivia spoke again, "How do you feel, El?" she asked quietly.

"I'm okay," he answered, "Ribs hurt a little bit, but…"

"That's not what I mean, El," she whispered, "Yesterday… after what you found out… it's okay to feel angry, or sad…"

He sighed thoughtfully, remembering what Maureen had said to him. They didn't believe that what happened was because of him… and those were the three opinions that he cared about. The ones that were the victims to the crime. They forgave him. They didn't believe that he was responsible for their deaths.

"I'm fine, Liv. Really, I am. I know that it wasn't my fault."

It felt so good to say that. So, _so_ good to say that. So he said it again, "It's not my fault."

And it wasn't. He knew that he never really forgave himself for what happened to his daughters. But know he knew that there was nothing to forgive himself for. There was nothing that he should have been ashamed of.

She smiled softly at him, running her hand through his hair gently, "That's right, El. It isn't your fault. What finally made you realize?"

He started to shake his head, but he immediately started to get dizzy, so he stopped. "This. Everything that happened last night… it made me realize."

She kissed his lips gently, and nodded her head, "That's really good, Eli," she whispered, "Now try to get some more rest, okay? You have to rest and get better so you can come home soon."

He nodded once, and let his eyes slide shut, drifting off to sleep almost immediately. She smiled, and kissed his forehead gently, closing her eyes and drifting off with him.

He was still sleeping when there was a soft knock on the door. She looked up, and saw Munch and Fin standing in the doorway. She smiled, and motioned them to come in. They stepped inside.

"How's he doin'?" Fin asked quietly.

Olivia nodded her head, "Doctor says he's going to be okay."

"Of course he is," Munch said, a small, slight smile creeping across his face, "You didn't think he'd leave you like this, did you?"

Olivia smiled, running her hand through his hair gently, "No. I didn't."

Elliot stirred from his position in the bed, and his eyes opened slowly. She smiled down at him, "Hey."

He smiled back, looking at each of them, "Hey. When did you two get here?"

"Few minutes ago," Fin answered, "Glad you're okay, man."

"Yeah," Elliot said, "Thanks. Me, too."

"Man, what you did…" Munch started, "That was amazing."

Elliot shook his head, "No… it wasn't. Anyone would have done the same thing."

"Nah," Fin said, "Not anyone."

Elliot gave a single, soft chuckle, leaning back against the pillow, "Maybe not."

They were silent for a few minutes, and then Munch spoke, "Is there something that you two want to tell us about?"

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, and they both shook their heads, "No."

"Well…" Munch started, "When we were back in the house with Sanford… You said something about… a kid, and how you didn't want it to grow up without something. What was that about?"

Olivia looked at Elliot, and spoke, "Guys… we didn't tell you before because of what was going on. But now that it's all over… we're having a baby."

"Really? No way," Fin said, "Baby girl's pregnant?"

Olivia looked at Elliot, who was smiling broadly, and nodded her head, "Yeah, guys. I'm pregnant."

"That's great," Munch said, and they both gave her friendly hugs.

They talked for a while, and then Munch and Fin made their exit, saying that they had to get back to the station and that maybe they would come back later.

Elliot went back to sleep, and Olivia just watched him.

Olivia's arm was wrapped around Elliot's waist as she guided him into their apartment. She closed the door with her foot before getting Elliot settled on the couch. She sat next to him, and smoothed her hand over his hair.

"What do you think?" she asked quietly, "You want something to eat?"

He shrugged his shoulders, leaning into her, "Not really hungry…"

"I know," she said softly, "But you should really eat something, keep your strength up so you can heal faster. How about some soup, at least?"

Elliot nodded, "Okay…"

She smiled, and gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Stay right here and rest. I'll be right back."

He moved away from her, and she got up, walking into the kitchen. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, she was back, holding a bowl in her hands. She took the spoon that was in it, and held it to his lips, "Open up."

He did, and she fed him the soup. When it was gone, she set the bowl on the table. He yawned, and leaned his head back against the cushions.

"Tired?" she asked, running her fingertips over his eyebrow. He nodded slowly, and she smiled slightly, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

She helped him up, and guided him into the bedroom. She pulled back the blanket, and tucked him in after he had laid down. She went to turn the light off, then laid down beside him, knowing that he would sleep easier with her there.

He was asleep in a matter of minutes. She smiled, and closed her eyes, deciding to take a nap with him.

* * *

A/N: Please review. You should all know the positive influence that your words give me.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: So sorry for the long wait, you guys. I've been stuck on the last chapter for a while. :( But anyway, here's Chapter 31.

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The next few weeks went by much like that first day. Elliot took his pain meds, which in turn made him exhausted. Mostly, he slept. But Olivia didn't mind. It was a good sign. He was healing. It was slow, but he was healing.

They were sitting on the couch together. His head was resting on her shoulder, and her arm was wrapped around him, rubbing his back lightly as they watched TV. Elliot yawned, leaning further into her. Olivia smiled at him, moving her hand up to tangle her fingers in his hair, "How're you feeling?"

"I'm alright," he answered.

"You seem off," she stated, "Is something wrong?"

Elliot shrugged, moving his hand to play with the fabric over her stomach, "You're pregnant," the thought made him smile, "I should be taking care of you, not the other way around."

She chuckled, amazed by how adorable he was. He had almost died, he was confined to the apartment because he was so hurt, and yet he was still worried about her?

"That's sweet, El," Olivia said, running her fingertips over his cheekbone, "But it's alright. You'll have plenty of time to do that."

He raised his head to look into her eyes, and smiled, letting his forehead drop against hers, "I hope so."

She pressed her lips against his gently, and he returned the kiss more than willingly. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, breaking them out of their trance.

"I'll get it," she whispered, and got up.

Elliot leaned back against the cushions, licking his lips as he watched her walk to the front door, and open it. He was slightly surprised when he saw Don Cragen standing behind it.

"Hey, cap'n," Olivia greeted, "Come on in."

"Hi," Cragen answered as he stepped inside, "Figured I'd stop by and see how you were doing."

Elliot started to get up, but the captain stopped him, "You. Stay. Bed rest, remember? Relax."

The detective smiled at Cragen's concern for him. Olivia took a seat next to him, and took his hand in hers, "I'm glad you stopped by. There's something we want to tell you."

Elliot looked at her, and his smile grew a little wider when he realized what she wanted to say. He scooted closer to her, and tightened his hand around hers.

"What is it?" the captain asked, leaning forward on the recliner.

Elliot watched as a smile spread across her face, "We're having a baby."

Cragen's lips turned upward, "Wow. That's great, you two. Congratulations. How far along?"

"A few months," she answered, "We were going to tell you earlier, but after everything that happened, we just had to wait."

"It's alright," the captain stated, waving his hand in dismissal, "But desk duty for the rest of your pregnancy. Okay?"

Olivia nodded, "No problem."

Don checked his watch, and looked back up at the couple, "I have to get going, back to the station. Congratulations again. I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks," Elliot said. Olivia walked the captain to the door, and then went back to cuddle with her husband for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia walked into the doctor's office, hand in hand. By this time, most of Elliot's injuries were healed… the only thing that was left was a few aching ribs. Smiles were plastered across their faces… no one would expect anything less from soon-to-be parents.

They sat down in the waiting area, and got as close as the plastic chairs would allow. And they kissed and cuddled until their names were called.

"So how's everything going, you two?" Dr. Jacobs asked his favorite couple.

They smiled lovingly at each other, and Elliot squeezed her hand gently as they both said, "Good."

Jacobs smiled, "That's great. I'm just going to do an ultrasound, make sure everything's okay in there. We can also find out the gender today, if that's would you'd like."

Elliot turned to Olivia, who spoke, "We want it to be a surprise."

The doctor chuckled at the expression on Elliot's face, "Looks like Dad doesn't."

Elliot looked at the doctor for a second, and then back to Olivia, "Whatever Liv wants sounds incredible."

She smiled up at him, telling him that she loved him without words. Jacobs smiled at the amount of love that he saw between the two, and he knew that the baby that they were going to have had to be the most love child in the world.

"This gel will feel a little cool, okay?" he said, and when Olivia nodded, he squirted some on her tummy. Elliot squeezed her hand and smiled broadly when he saw their baby pop up on the monitor.

"There they are," Jacobs said, "A perfectly healthy baby."

"Beautiful," Elliot whispered, unable to take his eyes off of their child, "So beautiful. Just like their mom."

Olivia leaned into him, feeling an incredible need to be closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling his heart warm.

"Their daddy, too," she answered.

"Are you sure you don't want to find out the gender?" Jacobs asked.

"Yes," Elliot answered before Olivia could say anything, "We want a surprise."

Olivia looked up at him, and pulled his forehead down to rest against hers. Jacobs, knowing that they wanted to be alone for a few minutes, slipped out of the room, off to get the pictures that he knew Elliot and Olivia wanted.

When he returned a few minutes later, he would find them on the bed together, kissing and cuddling, blissfully unaware of anything except for each other.

Elliot climbed into bed just a few minutes after Olivia, and pulled her close. She wrapped her arm around him, snuggling into his chest comfortably.

He smiled, "Hi."

"Hi," she answered, returning it.

His hand moved to rest over her tummy, and is smile grew wider as he thought about the child that would be coming into the world not to long from then, "I can't wait to meet this little guy."

"Or girl," she added, resting her hand over his.

He chuckled lightly, "Or girl."

"Are you sure you didn't want to know?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. I'm sure," he answered, "Waiting… I like it. Gives us one more thing to look forward to."

Her smile grew a little wider, and she kissed him gently, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he answered, "You and whoever's in there. Girl, or boy, it doesn't matter. I'll love them no matter what."

She scooted a bit closer to him, and tugged lightly on the t-shirt he was wearing. He understood what she wanted, and rolled on top of her, settling himself between her legs. She pulled his head down with one hand so she could kiss him, and the other hand went to under his shirt to rub the skin of his back.

They kissed for a few minutes, and Olivia went to press her lips to the special spot behind his ear.

"Liv," he whispered, "If we don't stop now, I won't be able to."

"Who says I want to?" she asked, moving her lips down to his neck and collarbone.

"You sure…?"

"El," she said, starting to pull off his shirt, "Make love to me. I want you… all of you."

He smiled softly at her, and slipped out of the fabric, "As you wish."

And that's exactly what they did.

* * *

A/N: Aww… I love El and Liv. The baby comes next chapter, guys. Drop a review and tell me what you want, boy or girl?


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's chapter 32.

* * *

Elliot walked into the apartment, and flipped on the light switch. The living room was empty. He pulled off his jacket, and threw it over the arm of the couch. His shoes came off next, and he made his way into the bedroom. The light was off there, too, but he could see Olivia, laying in bed with her back turned to him. She didn't acknowledge his presence, so he lay down next to her, and slipped his arms around her fully expanded belly.

"El…?" she asked sleepily.

"Yeah," he whispered, "It's me. How're you feeling?"

She had left work early that afternoon, saying that she hadn't been feeling well. She turned in his arms, and cuddled into his chest, "Better."

"Good," he said, kissing her lips gently, "How's Baby Stabler in there?"

"Kicking away," she replied, taking his hand, pressing it to her stomach, "Feel."

A warm smile spread across his lips, and he nodded, "I feel 'em."

She saw pure love and wonder in his sparkling eyes, and her heart warmed. She framed his face in both of her hands, and kissed his lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered, "So much."

She sighed, and wrapped her arm around his waist, letting her eyes flutter closed. He stayed still, and waited to hear her breathing even out, signaling that she was asleep. He slipped out of her arms to change out of his suit, and then crawled back in bed, pulling the blanket over them both. He just watched her sleep for several minutes, and finally drifted off himself.

The alarm woke him at the usual time that morning, and he sighed, smacking the off button. He looked at his sleeping wife beside him, and smiled, brushing the hair away from her face. Her eyes opened ever so slowly.

"Good morning," he said softly, "Up for work today?"

She shrugged her shoulders, lightly running her hand over his chest, "I guess so."

He leaned over to kiss her gently, "You sure? It's okay if you want to stay home…"

"It's okay, El," she answered, "I'm okay. Besides, I have to keep you out of trouble, don't I?"

He chuckled lightly, kissing her again, "I did fine yesterday."

She shrugged, "Well, just want to make sure."

"Okay," he agreed, "How about a nice hot shower, then?"

Olivia smiled softly at him, and nodded his head, "That sounds amazing."

He pulled her to her feet, and they walked into the bathroom together. They washed each other, and then dressed each other lovingly. He kissed her on the lips one more time, and they walked out of the apartment hand in hand.

When they walked into the bullpen, Munch and Fin were already there. They sat down at their desks, and started in on paperwork, looking up at each other and giving them loving gazes. Later in the morning, Cragen came to the doorway of his office, "Elliot, John, rape vic at Mercy General. Get over there."

John grabbed the slip from Cragen's hand, and Elliot gave Olivia's hand a light squeeze, and smiled softly at her before the two detective walked out of the bullpen.

"So how is she?" John asked softly from the passenger seat.

A smile crossed Elliot's lips as he pulled out of the precinct parking lot, "Great. She's great."

The older detective nodded, smiling at the love that was so clearly visible on his features. He could tell that the younger man was the happiest and the most in love that he had ever been. John felt happy for him.

Elliot pulled into a spot at the hospital, and they got out of the car.

"You can talk to the girl," John said, as they walked in.

"Gee, thanks," Elliot answered, glancing at him.

"Well, you're better with them than I am."

Elliot chuckled, "I'm better with the parents, too. What's your point?"

"You know what the point is," Munch told him, "You'll get more out of her than I will."

"Can I help you?" one of the nurses asked. She was short, blonde, and she was wearing light blue scrubs.

"We're looking for Mia Johnson," Elliot said, flashing his badge at the nurse.

"She's in room 416," she answered.

Elliot thanked him, and they walked down the hallway. When they reached the room, they saw a man and a woman inside, obviously the girl's parents. Elliot knocked on the door, and they turned to the two detectives.

"Can we help you?" the man asked, turning towards them.

John led them out, to explain, and Elliot stood in the doorway. The girl in the hospital bed looked to be sixteen or seventeen. There were bruises on her face, she looked… broken.

"Hi, Mia," he greeted softly.

"Hi," she answered in a soft voice.

"Can I come in?"

She nodded, and he stepped inside, taking a seat on the chair next to the bed, "I'm Elliot. I'm a police officer, I'm here to help you," he paused, then spoke again, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Do I have to?" she whispered, sinking into the bed.

"It would help us catch the man who did this to you," Elliot answered, "You want that, don't you?"

She bit her lip, and nodded slowly, "I was… I was walking home from school, when it happened. I-I was on the sidewalk, and h-he put his hand over my mouth, pulled me into the alley. I-I never saw his face, he pushed me against the wall, pulled my pants down, and he…" she paused, swiping at the tears that were streaming down her face.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Elliot said softly, resting his hand on the top of her hand.

"He raped me," she finished, and started to sob.

"Okay," the detective stated, "Okay. You're fine now. He won't hurt you anymore."

Elliot waited for her to calm down, and then walked back out into the hallway to leave with Munch.

When the two detectives walked into the bullpen, Elliot immediately went to Olivia. He pulled her up, gave her a quick hug, and then sat down at his desk. She looked at him intently, "What was that for?"

"Seventeen," he said, and she didn't ask any more questions. She knew.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, and soon they were home together. Elliot pulled out the chicken that they had a few nights previous, warmed it up and they cuddled on the couch while they ate.

Olivia set her paper plate on the coffee table, and sighed tiredly, snuggling further into Elliot. He smiled softly at her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face, "Time for bed?" he asked quietly, and she nodded her head, "Mm hm…"

He lifted her into his arms, and her hands went around his neck as he walked her into the bedroom. He laid her down, covered her with the blanket, and kissed her softly, telling her that he would pick up their plates from dinner and then be there with her.

When he laid down beside her, he was bare-chested, wearing only a pair of sweatpants. She smiled, cuddling into his warmth… she loved feeling his bare skin, and he knew it. His arms wrapped around her belly, and they both drifted off together.

* * *

Elliot's heart was pounding. He pulled into the hospital parking lot, parked haphazardly on the curb, and jumped out, running into the building.

"Olivia Stabler," he spat to one of the nurses at the nurse's station, "Where is she?"

"Room 120." And then he was off, running. He paid no attention to the people that he pushed past, knocked over… nothing mattered except for his wife, who had gone into labor while he was at work.

He burst into the room, and saw her, sitting up in bed, breathing heavily, sweat glistening on her forehead.

"El," she breathed, her eyes meeting his.

"I'm here, Liv," he answered, going to her immediately, taking her hand in his, "I'm here."

"Okay, Olivia. Ready to meet your baby?" Dr. Jacobs asked.

Olivia nodded her head, and Elliot smiled broadly. It was finally time… he would finally get to meet their child.

He knew what to expect. He had experienced it twice before, with Kathy… but this time, it was so different. With Olivia, he felt as if it were his very first time. Somehow, it was. Just like how it was with everything else with Olivia.

"Congratulations," he heard Jacobs say, "A beautiful baby girl. Dad, would you like to cut the cord?"

Happy tears welled up in his eyes, and he nodded his head, taking the scissors from the doctor. He heard the snip of the umbilical cord, but his eyes never left the perfect little girl in the doctor's arms. He had already fallen hopelessly in love with her.

And before he knew it, he was laying in the hospital bed. Olivia leaned comfortably against him, and their little girl was tucked in both sets of arms.

"She's perfect," Elliot whispered, unable to take his eyes off of her. His heart was filled with an incredible warmth, he'd never felt happier in his life.

"I know," Olivia answered, leaning up to kiss him, "Elizabeth Maureen."

The first tear slipped down his cheek, "Liv… that's…"

"I know, baby," she answered, "I love you. And… Maureen and Kathleen… they're my family, too. I want our little girl to know her big sisters."

"You're incredible," he whispered between tears, and kissed her gently. It was a kiss filled with so much love, so much adoration, so much devotion that their hearts almost burst at the seams.

"Elizabeth Maureen," Elliot said when they broke apart, "It's… it's perfect."

He gazed down at the tiny angel that was in their arms, and saw her big blue eyes, the shade of blue that matched his own perfectly. Everything was perfect. And he knew that things were only going to get better.

* * *

A/N: So… maybe the end… maybe not. Who knows? Depends on how many reviews I get and what they say. Please review, guys. Tell me if I should go on!


	33. Chapter 33

There was a smile on Elliot's face. He was still sitting on the hospital bed; he'd taken off his jacket and shoes and was holding Olivia to his chest. She was fast asleep… Elizabeth was tucked safely in his arms, sleeping as well. He was looking down at her with love in his eyes. He hadn't looked away from his daughter since the minute he saw her for the first time.

There was a knock on the doorframe, and Elliot looked up to see Cragen, Munch and Fin. He smiled at them as they walked further into the room.

"Wow," Don said softly, looking down at the baby, "She's beautiful."

Elliot's smile grew a little wider when he heard that. He nodded his head in agreement, looking adoringly at his little girl, "Yeah. I know."

"How's she doin'?" Fin asked, looking at the sleeping Olivia.

Elliot chuckled lightly, "Exhausted."

"How about you?" the captain asked, studying his detective.

Elliot looked from the captain, then to his wife, and then down at his sleeping child. He remembered the two other occasions that he had been here, with his two older girls… Now he had another daughter, a beautiful, perfect angel.

"Great," he said softly, "Everything's great."

"What's her name?" Munch asked.

"Elizabeth Maureen," Elliot answered, and Cragen could see the fatherly pride in him, the same pride that he possessed with his two older girls. It was comforting to see such a familiar emotion in him.

"That's prefect," the captain stated.

Elliot nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah. I know."

Olivia stirred in his arms, and he immediately tightened them around her. Her eyes fluttered open, and his hand rubbed her stomach gently. He kissed the spot behind her ear gently, and whispered, "Welcome back, sleepy head."

She smiled, and turned her head to kiss his lips. It seemed like their connection was even stronger now… now that there was a baby with part of each of them resting in their arms. "Hey."

"When did you guys get here?" Olivia asked, looking from the captain to each of the detectives that were standing around her.

"Just a few minutes ago," Cragen answered, "How're you doing?"

Olivia looked down at the sleeping baby in their arms, "Great."

Elliot opened the door of the apartment, allowing Olivia to enter first. She was carrying Elizabeth, who Elliot had so lovingly nicknamed Lizzie. He closed the door behind them, and they plopped down on the couch, cuddling close as they watched their daughter.

"I still can't believe it," Olivia whispered.

"Me neither," Elliot answered, touching Lizzie's hand gently. She opened her big blue eyes, and looked up at her father. Olivia's heart melted at the sight before her. The two people that she loved the most were in her arms, looking at each other, Elliot had so much love in his eyes that it brought tears to hers.

He looked at her, and rested his forehead against hers, kissing her lips gently. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she answered.

Lizzie yawned, and Olivia smiled, "Let's put her to bed."

He nodded his head, and they both walked into the nursery. Olivia gently set her down in the crib, and Elliot's arms slid around her waist. She felt his chin resting on her shoulder, and they just watched her for a few minutes.

"Eli," she whispered, looking at him, "Sing?"

And he did. He sang their song, which lulled Lizzie to sleep. His arms tightened around her, and he smiled, "Let's go to bed."

She turned in his arms, and kissed him gently, "That sounds like a good idea."

They walked out of the room, making sure they left the door open, and then into theirs. They changed each other, and then crawled into bed, snuggling close. They both fell asleep wrapped in each other's embrace.

Olivia rolled over, and reached for her husband, but instead of finding his frame like she had expected, her arm hit the mattress. She sat up, and rubbed her eyes, looking around the bedroom. It was empty. "Elliot?"

She got out of bed, and walked down the hall into the nursery. There he was, sitting in the rocking chair, holding Lizzie in his arms, just looking down at her, rocking slowly back and forth. She could see the tears tracts glistening on his face.

"El?" she asked softly, moving to stand next to him, "Baby?"

He looked up at her hand met the nape of his neck, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

She smiled, and nodded her head, "Yeah. She is."

His thumb went to her cheek. It was large, and calloused, but Olivia knew that the touch was as soft and gentle as any other. She knew, because he'd touched her like that, too.

"What's the matter, El?" she asked.

"Maureen would have turned sixteen tomorrow," he whispered.

"Oh, baby…" she breathed, reaching to wipe one of his tears away.

He leaned down, and pressed his lips to the baby's forehead, "She would have loved her."

He stood slowly, and brought her back to the crib, placing her down gently. The tears fell from his eyes and met the tiny mattress. Olivia walked over to him, and rubbed his back gently as his hands went to the railing.

"They'd be glad you're happy, El," she whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of his face.

"I know," he answered in the same soft tone.

She turned him toward her, and pulled him into her arms. He rested his chin against her shoulder, letting his eyes drift closed.

"I love you, Liv," he whispered.

"I love you, too, El," she replied, rubbing his back lightly, "Come back to bed."

She took his hand, and guided him back into the bedroom.

"I want to go to the cemetery tomorrow," he said after they had laid down.

Olivia nodded, unsurprised, "Do you want me to come?"

He gave her a small smile, "I think… I think I'll just go alone."

She kissed him sweetly in understanding, "Alright. Tomorrow, you go see your daughters, and I'll be right here when you get back."

"Thank you, Liv," he whispered, cuddling closer to her.

"For what, baby?"

"For being here," he answered, "For always being here when I need you."

She smiled softly at him, "I'm just returning the favor, El."

Elliot got out of his car, and clasped his hands in front of him as he stepped in front of Maureen's grave.

"Hey, Maureen," he whispered, squatting down to trace his fingertips over the lettering on the stone, "Happy birthday."

Tears formed in his eyes… he couldn't help it. He did it every time he came here. He wiped them away, knowing that he didn't have to cry anymore. He had his wife, and their baby… named after the girl that was buried in front of him. They were what kept him alive, what kept him breathing. He was sure that if he lost them, there would be no more living for him. He couldn't live without them.

"You have a little sister. Born a day before your birthday. Crazy, huh?" he sniffled, "God, I wish you were here to see her."

Elliot spent a few minutes in front of her grave, and then moved on to the other two. Then, he got back into his car, and headed home to Olivia. He needed her now.

She was sitting on the couch reading a book when he walked into the apartment.

"Hey," she greeted softly, putting the book down, "How'd it go?"

He shrugged his shoulders, moving to lean against the mantle, dropping his face to look at the floor. Olivia got up, and walked in front of him, bringing one hand to rest on his shoulder and the other to cup his cheek, "El?"

He looked up at her, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. "I love you Liv," he whispered, "You and Lizzie… you're my whole life."

"We love you, too, El," she answered, "Where is this coming from?"

He reached up, cupping her face in both of his hands, and kissed her softly. When he pulled away, she saw the tears in his beautiful blue eyes and her heart broke.

"Hey…" she said softly, wiping the tears away with her finger.

His arms tightened around her, "Liv…"

"It's okay," she whispered in his ear as he buried his face in her shoulder, "I promise, it's okay."

She rubbed her hand up his back, and scratched his scalp lightly. He relaxed in her arms as she pressed feather light kisses to the side of his head. She always knew how to calm him down…

"C'mon," she said softly, guiding him toward the bedroom, knowing that a day of cuddling was what he needed.

She sat him down on the bed, and pulled off his jacket and shoes before gently pushing him to lay down. She climbed in next to him, and pulled him close to her. He closed his eyes, feeling safe and comforted in her embrace, just like always. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up, she was there, next to him.

"Hey," she greeted softly, tightening her arms around him.

"Hi," he answered.

"You feeling better now?"

He shrugged, "A little…"

She nodded, and pulled him closer, "I know it's still hard for you sometimes. But I'll be here for you always. I promise."

He nodded his head, and buried his face in her neck, finding more comfort in her embrace, just like he always did. He sighed as she pressed gentle kisses to his temple.

And suddenly, they heard crying. She started to get up, but he stopped her.

"Let me," he said softly, and got out of bed.

"Hey, princess," he greeted as he looked down at his crying daughter.

He picked her up, and rocked her back and forth slowly, "Shh…"

Lizzie looked up at him, and her tears stopped. She giggled, and reached up towards her father's face. Elliot smiled when she did this, and moved one of his fingers to touch the baby's hand, "That's it. No more crying."

He loved holding her in his arms… his daughter. His beautiful daughter. Not wanting to put her back down just yet, Elliot walked over to the rocking chair, and sat, studying her. Lizzie yawned, and snuggled into Elliot's chest, her tiny eyes fluttering closed. When Elliot was sure that she was asleep, he laid her back down, and walked back into the bedroom.

"What happened?" Olivia asked, cuddling close to him as he laid down, "She just wanted to see her Daddy?"

Elliot chuckled, and smiled, "Yeah."

She smiled, and smoothed down his eyebrow, "That perked you right up."

He shrugged, tightening his arms around her, "I guess."

She saw right through him. He loved that little girl more than life itself. And she knew it.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she answered, shaking her head, "Nothing at all."

Elliot rolled his eyes playfully, and cuddled closer to her. He let his eyes flutter closed, and he was asleep within minutes.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. Please drop a review, no matter how short.


	34. Chapter 34

There was a cool wind up on the roof of the 1-6, and the sounds of the city drifted through the air. It was calming to the person that was standing up there. He was holding the railing; his lips were curled in a small smile. He was thinking about one of the previous times that he had been up on the roof, when his life had nearly ended. Nearly ended by his own hand. More like his own gun, actually… the same gun that was holstered at his hip at that very moment.

Things had changed so much since then… he was a different man than he was then. And it was all thanks to her. His true love, the reason that he was alive today.

"Elliot?"

The detective turned, and saw Captain Cragen walking towards him. "Hey," he answered, and turned back to the city.

"What are you doing up here?" the captain asked, "Where's Olivia?"

"At home," Elliot answered, "I had to finish up some paperwork, and…"

"You needed some fresh air?" he finished.

Elliot nodded his head, "Yeah."

They stood in silence for a minute before Cragen spoke again, "What are you thinking about?"

The younger man shrugged his shoulders, "Last time we were up here together."

Cragen turned towards him, and nodded his head silently, knowing that he had more to say. Elliot sighed, and continued, "I almost did it. I almost…" he shook his head, "If you hadn't stopped me, I wouldn't be here, with Olivia, my family."

Cragen smiled slightly, and rested his hand on his shoulder, "I know what you're saying, Elliot. But do you think that you would have done it, even if I hadn't come up?"

"I was about to," Elliot answered, "My finger was on the trigger…"

"I don't think you would have," the captain told him.

He swallowed, and asked, "Why not?"

"Because if you were going to, you would have done it already," Cragen said, "You didn't end your life that day. You kept going, even though you were miserable for another year before things started to get better. You know why?"

Elliot shook his head silently.

"I do," the captain answered, "That day up here… you didn't pull that trigger because a tiny part of you knew that you would be happy again. You might not have realized it at the time, but you knew. You knew that you had to keep going, no matter how hard things got, because eventually, everything would get better. And it did."

Elliot turned, and studied the captain for several seconds. Suddenly, everything made sense. He knew that the captain was right. He wouldn't have ended his life up on the roof that day. He wouldn't because he was meant to live, meant to be here, now. He pushed all that pain aside, locked it away because a tiny part of his subconscious knew that there was one person that could take it all away, that could heal him. Olivia.

"You're right," he said, "You're right. I have to…"

"Go," Cragen said, "I don't want to see either of you until Monday."

Elliot nodded, "Thanks, cap'n. For everything."

Elliot pulled into the driveway of the home he and Olivia shared in Queens, and got out of the car, heading up the front steps. Almost as soon as he closed the door, he heard the voice of his daughter, "Daddy!"

He smiled, and squatted down to lift her into his arms, "Hey, Liz."

He kissed her nose, and she giggled, wrapping her little arms around his neck. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his pant leg. He looked down, and saw his son, sitting at his feet. It was like looking at a mirror image... Eli looked just like him.

He chuckled lightly, and lifted him into his other arm, "Hey, buddy."

He turned to his oldest, "Where's Mommy?"

"In the kitchen," she answered.

"Okay," Elliot said, and walked through the living room. He smiled when he saw her in front of the stove, cooking. She turned towards him, and a smile of her own formed on her face, "Hey."

He set the two children in his arms in their seats, and went to her, pulling her into his embrace, kissing her gently, "Hi."

"Ew," Lizzie interjected, "Mommy, Daddy, that's icky."

Elliot chuckled lightly, releasing her from his grasp. He walked to his daughter, tickling her. She shrieked with laughter, "Daddy, stop!"

"What's the magic word?" he asked, chuckling along with her.

"Please!" she answered, "Please stop."

"Oh, okay," he agreed, and stopped, leaning over to kiss her forehead. When he looked at Olivia, there was a smile on his face… the smile that he loved seeing.

The rest of the night was quiet. They ate dinner, Elliot and Olivia sat on the couch, cuddling as they watched their children play on the living room floor. They put them to bed together, and then walked into their own bedroom, helping each other change and collapsing onto the bed.

She wrapped the blanket around them, and he let his forehead drop against hers. She smiled softly, running her knuckles lightly over his cheek, "What are you thinking about?"

"You," he answered, leaning forward to kiss her, "I love you."

She smiled, "I love you, too, Eli."

He smiled back at her, and kissed her again. She would never really understand how much she helped him. She saved him, in so many ways and so many times. She had done it before she even knew him. She was the reason that he was still living, the reason he found happiness after what had happened to him.

His heart had been broken. It had been shattered, and he never thought that he would ever be happy again. But she had proven him wrong. He felt like the luckiest man on Earth. He had three angels here with him… and three more were looking down on him.

He knew that, for the rest of his life, and even after that, he would be happy.

THE END

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A/N: Thank all you guys for reading. It's been a long ride, I'm so happy all you guys stuck with it. If it weren't for your support and all your awesome feedback, this story wouldn't be here.

Thanks.


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